Humour Romance Quotes & Sayings

She investigated further: moving along with little kisses down his throat and over his collarbone until she came to the same location on his neck that on hers was currently a decorative black and blue color. She bit him. Hard. Alexia never did anything by halves. — Gail Carriger

The new stuff's brilliant," I volunteer somewhat hesitantly because I really, really don't want him thinking that I'm trying to kiss his arse, but to my amazement he wrinkles his nose and seesaws his hand. "You don't like it?"
He shifts slightly. "No, it's fine. It's just sometimes it gets a bit uncomfortable singing lyrics that seem to be an ode to my sister in law's vagina! — Lily Morton

How do you know?"
"Well, I don't, I'm making this up, but I bet I'm right. — Robyn Carr

Hey," Shayne said through the door. "You going to stay in there all night, because we're getting tired of trying to eavesdrop from out here. Can't hear a damn thing. — Jill Shalvis

I am always doing what I thought I couldn't do because I Thought I might learn something.
Henri Marcel French Artist — Brenda H. Sedgwick

John Brooke is acting dreadfully, and Meg likes it! — Louisa May Alcott

They'd tried to diagnose him but there was no apparent medical explanation for his behaviour. He was just what his mum called 'away with the fairies' and Max called 'a bit of a lost cunt. — Eve Dangerfield

You break his heart," Watts told Amanda, "I'll break your face! — David Bischoff

Three Denises wobbled in front of her, all of them watching her with fond concern. You're a sweetie. I appreciate you cheering me on from the sidelines. But I think I need to go to the bathroom now and throw up. — Sarah Mayberry

What sort of look are you going for?"
Damn, how did he answer this? "Something ... normal," he finally said. — Toni Blake

She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it. — Robyn Carr

She looks me dead in the face and says, "The safe word is going to be 'immigration,' because you know I'll stop it. — Kayti McGee

If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in breach of contract ...
Rhett — Rowena Cherry

She didn't know what a goji berry was, but it sounded like something Amazonian tribesmen might eat when they wanted to talk to their ancestors and embark on an inner voyage into some sort of unicorn-infested netherworld.
Whatever worked. — Lola Salt

What are you boys doing?" she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.
"Arguin'," Carlos says matter-of-factly. — Simone Elkeles

They'd be complaining about having to walk, and screeching at me to 'do something, Freddy, do something!'"
"But what could you do?" she said, puzzled.
"Carry them, probably." He gave her a hopeful look. "Do you want me to carry you? — Anne Gracie

Oh good, you're ready."
"No, I've only just got out of the bath. What should I put on?"
"Put on?" he says in obvious mystification.
"Well I've only got a towel on." When he still doesn't get it I sigh. God, he's so dense sometimes. "Charlie, I haven't got any knickers on," I mutter.
His eyes seem to darken and then he starts laughing. "Mabel, I'm shocked. What sort of massages have you been having? I'm not massaging down there however much you expect it. I'm not that type of boy! — Lily Morton

You've got to be fucking kidding me!" The words are out of my mouth before I can put my brain into gear.

He must have felt the pain from five pairs of eyes burning straight into the side of his head. Red hot, radioactive beams buzzing onto his temple as he quickly turns his attention to the group of people staring at him. Then his eyes fall on me. Yet again, I melt on the spot at the chocolate pools looking at me. — A.J. Walters

Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that," Garrett said gruffly. "You'll have me convinced I'm going to die."
"You're not? — Maya Banks

Maybe we could, um, go sit in the truck? he said, but even as he said it, it sounded so dumb. And not exactly the way he wanted her to remember a marriage proposal. — Robyn Carr

Does Playboy still run fiction?"
"I have absolutely no idea, Melinda," he said, grinning. — Robyn Carr

Thanks for not trying to see me when I looked like hell."
"To be fair, you still look pretty bad. — John Green

Both of us take a moment to put our thoughts in order. I'm staring down at my glass when the pause in conversation is interrupted. "Come with me, now!"

He grabs hold of my drink just as I'm about to take a swig, and puts it back down on the bar before dragging me off the stool. I was really looking forward to that as well! However, he doesn't give me much choice as he downs what he had left in his glass and leaves the new pint untouched. Intensity flickers in his eyes. — A.J. Walters

There's always time for arguin' when you're a Fuentes. — Simone Elkeles

How are you doing?" he asks and I grimace. "Okay, okay," he's talking quickly now. "The boys and I had a discussion and then we voted, and as a majority we think that you should look at this."
"What is it?" I ask cautiously, looking at the iPad he's proffering. "It's not porn again is it, because I told Bram that it doesn't help with all of life's problems, but he won't fucking listen. — Lily Morton

The man in 4B wondered if he could have your autograph. He told me his daughter is a huge fan.
Fan? What the hell? Dylan lifted himself up and looked over the back of his seat. Since when did covert operators have fans? — Tara Janzen

He jokingly thought that this guy fancied himself some kind of Jedi knight, waiting for him to say, 'these are not the droids you're looking for. — Wendy Owens

If I looked like him," Tara said. "I'd want to have sex with myself. All the time. — Jill Shalvis

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C. Scott

I don't see anyone else Nell. All I see, all I want, is you. — Lily Morton

Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince me why I should love you."
"Because any other female would! — Kresley Cole

He should probably make love to her. — Tara Janzen

You thought I was peculiar," she said in a muffled voice.
His mouth brushed the edge of her ear and settled against her neck. She felt that he was smiling. "Darling love ... you are. — Lisa Kleypas

Then I shall bid thee goodnight, my dear. Sweet pixies watch over the dusty moonlight of your dreams, Jessameine. — Jennifer Silverwood

I want you to know, chickens aren't sexy. Not to me."
This was met with silence.
"Are you there?" She was slurring her words now, which was embarrassing, so she took a deep breath. "Cam? Can you hear me?"
"Yes, chickens aren't sexy. Uh ... I don't think they're meant to be. — Jill Shalvis

I was trying to seduce him just by being physically near him. Like, seduction by osmosis. It works in movies constantly. — Katie Heaney

Okay, babe, I'm here.
The front door smashed opened, slamming against the wall - the man didn't know how to turn a knob? — Christy Reece

She didn't sound overjoyed. She didn't sound even slightly joyed. — Sarah Mayberry

A sly smirk curled at the corner of his mouth as he peered into the trunk. "Why do you have Robin Hood's toy chest?"
- Brendan Daniels — Elizabeth Morgan

Unexpected Elizabeth wasn't falling into his arms as he'd anticipated, even after he had acted heroic and been valiantly injured. Perhaps he had lost her. — Kresley Cole

You groped my bum!"
"It was an accident."
"It was not. You haven't done anything accidental with that hand since you were twelve."
"Fifteen, Mabes. You make me sound like some kind of infant sex prodigy. — Lily Morton

Try me, and you will start LOVING..!! — Nikhil Anubhav Minz

I'm so sorry. I think I'm just tired."
The socially accepted excuse for being mental. — Lucy Ivison

Wretched game, cricket, keeping romantic youths out in the sun when they should be indoors, applying balm to the foreheads of feverish young maidens. — Ruskin Bond

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them? — Maya Banks

I grab at Smitty and he at me, and, for one horrible, deperately embarrassing second we fly into each others arms like Shaggy and Scooby Don't. — Kirsty McKay

I need to know, Hannah. Why did you fucking leave?" His brutal tone is clear as his fingers trace their way up my thigh and skim over the silk material of my underwear. I push my pelvis towards him; I need his fingers in me now. He has different ideas, trying to tease an answer out of me, and my invitation for more contact is ignored. If there is any chance of me having what I want, I need to answer him. — A.J. Walters

I'll understand if you don't want me. But I will be heartbroken. You are all I ever dreamed of and hoped for. You are much, much more. Please know that I didn't think I was mean-minded. But I realize I am. I don't want you to put your arms around me and say it's all right, that you forgive me. I want you to be sure that you do, and my love for you will last as long as I live. I can see no lightness, no humour, no joke to make. I just hope that we will be able to go back to when we had laughter, and the world was coloured, not black and white and grey. I am so sorry for hurting you. I could inflict all kinds of pain on myself, but it would not take back any I gave to you. - David Power — Maeve Binchy

Now wait a second ... " Kenneth butted in.
"Yeah, we haven't asked you the questions yet," Brandon finished for Kenneth.
"Yeah, like what are your intentions toward our little Ryan," Patrick added, smirking.
"What do you do for a living?" Brandon added.
"Can you support Ryan's shoe fetish?" Kenneth threw his question in too.
"Hmm, okay, here are my answers. I plan on feeding him, dancing with him and God willing fucking him until he can't walk straight. I help infertile chickens have baby chickens, and I think so. I'm hoping his feet are about my size. We can share shoes and everything," Phillip answered. — Crystal Rose

Excuse me, your attention please."
He waited until the whole floor had stopped what it was doing and turned to face him. For a split second his impulse control kicked in, but by then his mouth was fully engaged.
"For the record, Claire Marsden and I are not having sex. — Sarah Mayberry

He'd done it like he did everything else - with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her. — Kaylea Cross

But you were concerned about making sure things, you know, didn't get serious."
"Yeah, because I'm an idiot. — Robyn Carr

It's not really wine," he said. "It's Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back. — Jennifer Echols

I'm in love with you"
Finally, the girl looks at me. "What?"
"I don't know." I gesture to the house, the yard, the dirt surrounding us. "I'm not sure what suggested romance. Maybe it was the screaming match or the way my girlfriend kicked my ass to the ground, but I love you."
Her mouth gapes. "I ... I ... "
"I don't want you to say it back now. One of us should have some class. — Katie McGarry

Can I speak to Sayvyer, please?"
"You're looking for the savior? At 1:15 a.m.?"
"No. her name's Sayvyer."
"There's no savior here. Especially not at 1:15 a.m. — Zack Love

Thank you. Thank you, Noah, thank you, thank you.
By sundown, Thea could throw the damned thing with deadly accuracy. At bedtime, she asked if Noah would mind if she slept with it under her pillow every night.
He assured her he would not.
* when Thea gets a knife from Noah — Grace Burrowes

He was definitely taking his bodyguard duties seriously tonight. He gave off a take-one-step-closer-and-I-will-show-you-Armageddon vibe. — Christina Henry

I rushed ahead until another girls' bathroom appeared. I pushed the door open, planning to leave Noah outside while I collected myself.
But he followed me in.
Two younger girls were standing at te mirror applying lip gloss.
"Get out," Noah said to them, his voice laced with boredom. As if they were the ones who didn't belong in the girls' bathroom. — Michelle Hodkin

Our relationship wasn't the sun, the moon, the stars, but it wasn't bullshit, either. — Junot Diaz

Romancin' is verra important, ye ken. Basically it's a way the boy can get close to the girl wi'oot her attackin' him and scratchin' his eyes oot. — Terry Pratchett

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman — Oscar Wilde

Carlos, are we in complete understanding with each other?"
"Yeah," I say. "As long as it's not in your house and you don't know about it, you're okay with us messin' around."
"I know you're joking with me. You are joking with me, aren't you?"
"Maybe. — Simone Elkeles

Married, married. My ring on your finger. Yours on mine. Till death do us part," he rattles off. "Come on Mabes, it's the next logical step. We've been living together for long enough. It's time to make an honest man out of me."
"We've been living together for five hours," I say, looking at the clock.
He shrugs. "When it's right, it's right. — Lily Morton

Hey, do you want to end this right now?" Her eyes flared. "I wouldn't have asked you out if I'd wanted to end it. Sit back, eat and enjoy. Pretend I'm dead. — David Bischoff

Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols

He kept one eye on Matt as he talked. He could tell Matt was close to orgasm by the way he title his head to the side and bit his lower lip.
"And what about your partner, Mr. Tucker?" Troy asked. Chris raised his eyebrows in surprise and Mr. Waters gave him a greasy, unpleasant smile. "Does your partner cook?"
Chris grinned as Matt came all over the red leather seat. "Actually, he makes a delicious white sauce. — Ally Blue

If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says. — Richard Kadrey

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with. — Jill Shalvis

Would you like some sacred chocolate?' a girl asked, appearing suddenly at Lara's side. 'They've very special chocolates,' she said, pushing a plate of the goods in Lara's direction. 'They're raw and sweetened with Stevia.'
Stevia, huh? Lara grabbed a chocolate truffle and popped it into her mouth, winking at the girl. She hoped the 'stevia' would kick in soon, because frankly, it looked like these women were having a better time than she'd had in ages. — Lola Salt

The male tax?"
"Yeah. The tax that men have to pay for not having to menstruate every month. Or risk getting pregnant. Or deal with the physically stronger sex in a macho world ... Women have to put up with all that stuff, so the least we men can do is pay the male tax and get the tab. — Zack Love

It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find. — Liz Czukas

Basically, dating is like climbing a volcano and you never know when it's going to erupt, dumping molten lava and burning you — Robin Bielman

Isn't he cute? That he thinks he has a sense of humour? — Robyn Carr

The world is not full of crazy ninja perfume ladies! — Elisa Paige

Good humour was miles behind a second cup of morning tea. It was too early for nonsense. — Zeenat Mahal

Some people just don't find their Prince Charming straight away, they have to search for him. — Charlotte Fallowfield

He created waterfalls for her out of the morning dew, and from the colored pebbles of a meadow stream he made a necklace more beautiful than emeralds, sadder than pearls. She caught him in her net of silken hair, she carried him down, down, into deep and silent waters, past obliteration. He showed her frozen stars and molten sun; she gave him long, entwined shadows and the sound of black velvet. He reached out to her and touched moss, grass, ancient trees, iridescent rocks; her fingertips, striving upwards, brushed old planets and silver moonlight, the flash of comets and the cry of dissolving suns. — Robert Sheckley

She'd never known a man whose initial move was to undress the woman he wanted. — Tara Janzen

I don't know who you are; you could be an axe murderer for all I know. How am I supposed to trust you and follow you? For that matter, follow you where?" Gabe inquired.
"Search yourself, what do your instincts tell you?" Uri asked.
"That you're a crazy nut job and freaking me out!" Gabe snapped back. — Wendy Owens

I like you in green,' he said. 'You look as if you're a very beautiful imp.' — Sara Sheridan

It doesn't matter if it's the real world or fictional," I insisted. "Crushes are the best part of liking someone, and they are completely safe. You get all the benefits of fantasising about someone, but none of the he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not drama. It's all the good parts with none of the parts that make you lie awake at night all angsty. — Liz Czukas

Love is like chickenpox. It's much worse when it comes late. — Neel Burton

Has something happened to upset you today?"
"Yeah, I had an argument with a vacuum cleaner hose, it wanted me to it a blowjob, but I refused so it took offence. It claimed I blew everyone else's attachment and it wasn't fair. — Gillibran Brown

I'm a firm believer in equality at all times - "
"At all times?" She glanced at the cuffs clipped to his leathers. "Why do I find that hard to believe?" And why the heck was she arguing with him. Mine, mine, mine.
"At all times," he repeated. "However, in the bedroom or in the club, I am a lot more equal than you. — Cherise Sinclair

From my bedroom window, I can see the sun peeping through the clouds. London certainly isn't a city noted for its climate, but I think, sooner or later, you get used to it, and live with the weather. For most of the year, everyone and everything seems to be tucked up cosily in grey cotton wool, but Dickens said that fog is a characteristic of London, didn't he? This climate could go hand in hand with my dismal humour. — Sarah Iles

I suppose when you say you slept with him, it was more than just a nap?"
Lillian shot her a withering glance. "Daisy, don't be a pea wit. — Lisa Kleypas

Peyton, I'm not married and you're not a lesbian. Think of the possibilities. — Robyn Carr

Tom. Tom, look at me. Has Nora agreed to marry you?"
"No, but she will because she has to. — Robyn Carr

The gentleman had been an uncommonly affable fellow, but every time he counted to twenty (and he seemed to do so with strange frequency), he skipped the number twelve. — Julia Quinn

Whew," he said. "You clean up good. You don't look like the same girl."
She frowned right before she laughed. "Do women usually thank you for saying things like that? — Robyn Carr

You've got a big ego, Fuentes."
"That's not all I've got. — Simone Elkeles

Bullshit," says Viv. "Did you have your eyes open the other night in the pub? Mabe, I've never, ever seen him so happy and the way he was looking at you made even me melt. He's in love with you."
"No, he isn't."
"Yes, he is. It's just unfortunate that he's a fuckwit as well. — Lily Morton

Ben walks in the room and asks, "What were you guys doing?" Nikki says "Nothing" at the same time I say, "Your sister and I were just makin' out. — Simone Elkeles

I mean, I don't want to pass judgment - I just wish my husband didn't shoot deer."
"Oh, Mel, don't worry. I've been hunting with your husband - the deer are completely safe. — Robyn Carr

What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan."
"I suspect I am a hooligan. — Simone Elkeles

Maybe next time, don't bite the girl you fancy. — Radhika Sanghani

Put me down, I'm too heavy."
"You're small enough to fit in my pocket. — Sarah Mayberry

Och, away now, Ruari. You'll be telling us you're not knowing who that woman is next! Man, man, that's an awful affliction." A grey-bristled, weather-beaten face beamed back at him.

"And isn't it you that's making the drives in her car at the dead of night, too?" A female voice joined in from behind the sweets jars: "Oh my, Ruari ... 'tis a terrible thing the guilt of the carnal pleasures!"

"I haven't had any carnal pleasures ... I simply got a lift home. You're terrible, right enough," he defended himself. — Robertson Tait

No bikinis on a first date." He nods. "I'm sure that's a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

Soft light ate away at the darkness and revealed a rather large room outfitted with a small kitchen, an antique-looking couch, and a ... a bed. Nervously, I turned away and folded my arms. The place reminded me more of a love-nest than anything else. Then again, the stockpile of rifles hanging on the wall kind of ruined the cozy feel. — Jennifer L. Armentrout