Humour Cracked Quotes & Sayings

I made my first fire last night and I didn't even set myself aflame! It was fantastic". "If you need more, there's plenty where that came from". "Sure, I'll take your wood anytime!" Matty fought the smile that threatened to engulf his face, and he coughed, using it for a cover of his laugh. But Rob laughed outright. "Consider me at your service. Though, technically, It wasn't my wood. So maybe it's more accurate to say that you'll take George's wood anytime. Matty cracked up. "No, definitely not. I'm sure it's aged and gnarled". — Leta Blake

Why you got your ass on your shoulders? — Busta Rhymes

China-Pakistan relationship is indeed special because it transcends the changes of the times and politics and represents a fine example of friendly state-to-state interactions. — Li Keqiang

Reach into your pocket, a few taps on your smartphone, and you can know anything. We are all omniscient. I have the complete repository of human history sitting two inches away from my dick all day, every day. — Robert Brockway

They tied his arms behind his back to teach him how to swim, they put blood in his coffee and milk in his gin. — Lou Reed

Because, as someone who does feng shui for a living, there's no way I could do my feng shui if I was whacked out on crack, because my business is about discerning energy fields, and if you're cracked up, or on pot, or even if you've had too much coffee, the energy field gets all wonky, believe me, I know used to smoke! — George Saunders

The artificial is always innocent. — Frank O'Hara

If you are a good writer - and I think I am - you are able to handle any kind of group and imagine their lives. — Earl Hamner Jr.