Humorous Wise Quotes & Sayings

You don't hear what I hear. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Weakness is weaker when discovered by others. — Mita Jain

Is there any thinking animal like man? — Lailah Gifty Akita

Darkness is necessary for evolvement. — Lailah Gifty Akita

She took my hand and pulled me after her, her shoulders giving off a sweet peppermint concoction that the bodies of young women sometimes produce to make my life more difficult. — Gary Shteyngart

The bliss that comes from ignorance should seldom be encouraged for it is likely to do one out of a more satisfying bliss. — Ruth Stout

An old mans staffe is the rapper of deaths doore. — George Herbert

I collapse on my pillows in relief, my heart pounding. Thank fuck. I don't have a child. And — Sophie Kinsella

Personally I don't trust literature that soothes people's consciences. — Antonio Tabucchi

The "called" get so puffed up with how important they think their service is to God's success, they assume God will compensate for their lack of parenting skills. A short study in sociological history will reveal this isn't true, never has been true, and likely never will be true of God. — Linda Rios Brook

Is the any model like morality? — Lailah Gifty Akita

But at home he was our humorous, kind, and wise Dad. He loved reading, and he loved including the whole family in his discoveries. He — Ji-li Jiang

Not everything that is seen is visible. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Music can be all things to all persons. It is like a great dynamic sun in the center of a solar system which sends out its rays and inspiration in every direction ... Music makes us feel that the heavens open and a divine voice calls. Something in our souls responds and understands. — Leopold Stokowski

Life is a joyful journey. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter! — Terry Pratchett

Where in the Bible are we told in one verse not to do a thing and in the next to do it?

'Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.' Prov. xxvi. 4.

'Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.' Prov. xxvi. 5. — Samuel Grant Oliphant

He called her a melon, a pineapple, an olive tree, an emerald, and a fox in the snow all in the space of three seconds; he did not know whether he had heard her, tasted her, seen her, or all three together. — Virginia Woolf

The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war! — George W. Bush

A word to the wise an't nesisary its the stupid ones who need the edvise. — Eliga H. Gould

A fool will study for twenty or thirty years and learn how to do something, but a wise man will study for twenty or thirty minutes and become an expert. In this world, it isn't ability that counts, but authority. — Barry Hughart

Even if loving meant leaving, or solitude, or sorrow, love was worth every penny of its price. — Paulo Coelho

If a man can save himself, there is no need for a Saviour. — Lailah Gifty Akita

The world is made up of words. — Lailah Gifty Akita

I take it that's where you met Todd.'
'Yep. Almost five years ago. Can you believe it?'
'Five years! You and Todd should be the poster couple for the 'Love Waits' campaign.'
Christy laughed. 'It didn't seem that long. A lot has happened during those five years. But I do agree that true love is worth the wait. I'd wait another five years for Todd if I had to. He's the only man for me. Ever. — Robin Jones Gunn

Change does not take place in a vacuum. — Lailah Gifty Akita

The most colossal display of wise, inspiring,
and humorous metaphors ever exhibited in one place. — Richard Lederer

Many of the men we wanted were used to living in cities or near large metropolitan areas and were a bit dubious about the prospects of life in a remote, sparsely populated area. We had somewhat similar trouble with the engineering people, although they were not so concerned at being isolated. — Leslie R. Groves