Humorous Text Quotes & Sayings

In place of a hermeneutics we need an erotics of art. — Maggie Nelson

Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go."

"You just got here."

"Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress."

"You're making that up."

"I'm not."

"So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis? — Rick Riordan

The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race. — Sally Miller Gearhart

It's not the journalists; it's the critics that I can't understand. I've never understood what kind of a person would want to criticize someone else's work. — Buzz Osborne

The course of time, all of Apple's competitors lost their WHY. Now all those companies define themselves by WHAT they do: we make computers. They turned from companies with a cause into companies that sold products. And when that happens, price, quality, service and features become the primary currency to motivate a purchase decision. At that point a company and its products have ostensibly become commodities. As any company forced to compete on price, quality, service or features alone can attest, it is very hard to differentiate for any period of time or build loyalty on those factors alone. — Simon Sinek

A new collection of matter and information to present to the universe and to which it in turn will be presented; different, arguably equal parts of that great ever-repetitive, ever-changing jurisdiction of being. — Iain M. Banks

My parents always say I have really good legs. I've worked really hard for them. They always insist that I show my legs. — Samaire Armstrong

Stillness is a harder concept for me than ecstasy, but I can imagine it best when I am fully present and paying strict attention to a place I am moving through. — Pam Houston

If you can't forgive and move on, then your feelings will grow and fester and they will eat you alive. — T.M. Gaouette

Be calm, patient, and frank. Tell her that women in magazines aren't the best role models, that people who judge everyone on their looks probably have terrible self-esteem issues. Tell her that what matters is not how thin someone is, but what her character is. And tell her what is great about her, what you like about her, what you hope for her. — Meg Meeker

Heaven be their resource who have no other but the charity of the world, the stock of which, I fear, is no way sufficient for the many great claims which are hourly made upon it. — Laurence Sterne

Liverpool wouldn't be the club it is today without Bill Shankly and Bob Paisley and the players who played there. When I first went there it was a typical Second Division ground, and look at it now! — Ian Callaghan

I have no trouble being a good dude because that's what I am. — Busta Rhymes