Humorous Sports Quotes & Sayings

Woah! Calm down, Curly! — Louis Tomlinson

I taught woman-centered childbirth classes for five years and have a particular interest in the history of childbirth practices. — Jo Beverley

I am not as confident as the characters I play. I am a bit aloof. I am uncomfortable in social situations. — Anushka Sharma

I enjoy looking at words on paper and visualizing how to make them come to life. As a director, the creative process is really amazing. — Alfonso Ribeiro

Like zero direction — Lisi Harrison

One headline read: 'West Ham supporters set light to a yacht.' Now, if that boat was a yacht, then it probably only needed two paddles to row it. But if the headlines were exaggerated, the events of that night weren't. Some nasty things happened that night. It was inevitable when you had a thousand young men down for a football match with nowhere to stay and nowhere open. [...] It was well into the wee hours before we at last found somewhere to crash out. We met a bird and bloke who were local, and for some unknown reason they offered us the use of their flat on the seafront. Needless to say, we showed our appreciation of their generosity by guzzling the spirits cabinet dry and trashing the flat. The bloke was so pissed he was half joining in while the bird, who we all thought was a bit odd, was going mental. In fact, she was like a fucking animal.

- Jimmy Smith — Cass Pennant

If it were advertised that a troupe of men of easy virtue were to appear half-clothed upon a public stage, exposing their chests, thighs, arms and calves, the only women who would go to the entertainment would be a few delayed adolescents, a psychopathic old maid or two, and a guard of indignant members of the parish Ladies Aid. — H.L. Mencken

We all remember the fool who, almost alone, was true to Lear, but, then, of course, he was a fool. — William Shakespeare

The Olympic movement simply cannot allow the Russians to become estranged, because Russia is a vital part of the world sports community, in the sense of having nuclear missiles. — Dave Barry

It is the gospel of the kingdom that makes the difference. — Sunday Adelaja

If it's within your power to give another person great joy at little or no expense to yourself - or even at great expense - then you should, especially when you love that person. — Penny Reid

We establish a connection with the unknown through the act of giving something and, paradoxically, the act of destroying something. That is what is behind sacrifice. What you offer and what you destroy, it is that surplus which is life itself. — Roberto Calasso

I used to worry about the labels others placed on me ... until I realized my limitations weren't coming from their labels, but from my own. — Steve Maraboli

Being a monk was the strangest and most perverted way of life imaginable. Monks spent half their lives putting themselves through pain and discomfort that they could easily avoid, and the other half muttering meaningless mumbo jumbo in empty churches at all hours of the day and night. They deliberately shunned anything good - girls, sports, feasting and family life. — Ken Follett

When Warren Buffett talks about competing against only half of the population, I think about her and wonder how different her life might have been if she had been born half a century later. — Sheryl Sandberg

I love the people of Venezuela. I want that country to have freedom. I want it to have human rights and to be banned by a dictator like Nicolas Maduro is, to me, a badge of honor. — Marco Rubio

A sexual athlete is not likely to find sufficient energy for work of another athletic kind, and the acting of great parts most definitely was and always will be athletic, depending on inner if not on visible energy. Members of other professions that depend on the expenditure of physical energy must, I believe, find similar difficulties when attempting to double up on their energies. One has often heard that the most magnificent specimens of boxers, wrestlers and champions in almost every branch of athletic sport prove to be disappointing upon the removal of that revered jockstrap. — Laurence Olivier

You are either becoming more like Christ every day or you are becoming less like Him. There is no neutral position in the Lord. — Stormie O'martian

I've done more crap than I care to remember. I really have. 'Airwolf.' 'Murder, She Wrote.' 'Amazon Women on the Moon.' But you learn from all these bad shows. What you don't want to do and what you don't want to be involved with. — Bryan Cranston

Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script. — Erma Bombeck

I've reached out to other mayors throughout the United States to form an Olympic Task Force of Mayors, and to community leaders, Congress, and businesspeople. As thousands of people around the country join the movement, it gets more and more exciting. — Richard M. Daley