Humorous Golf Quotes & Sayings

I say the American Medical Association ought to get the hell off the golf course and answer this question ... — Dave Barry

If individuals start to walk on the path of spirit and feel a sense of the sacred connectedness, then social, economic and political problems will also begin to get resolved. — Satish Kumar

Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better. — Tim Allen

Something else that makes me angry is that I got too old to prostitute myself. I wasn't going to anyway but it was there, it was my Z plan. — Mary Robison

I know it's crazy, but I actually prefer to prepare for disaster and worst-case scenarios, rather than panic once they do occur. — Glenn Beck

The pressures of business relationships: so I tell the guy I usually have my tea time at 10 o'clock every morning. He calls me at noon (very upset) because I didn't meet him on the golf course. — Eric Christopher Jackson

Even the grandest lives come down to a few people and places. Loved ones, your daily work, your neighborhood. I don't mean that in a belittling way. I've been realizing how complete our lives can be with just the few people and activities you most love. — Daphne Kalotay

Humor is the ovum of dissent, — David Mitchell

The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap. — Dave Barry

One day Bird had approached his father with this question; he was six years old: Father, where was I a hundred years before I was born? Where will I be a hundred years after I die? Father, what will happen to me when I die? Without a word, his young father had punched him in the mouth, broke two of his teeth and bloodied his face, and Bird forgot the fear of death. — Kenzaburo Oe

If you're looking to get silly, you better go back to from where you came. because the cops don't need you and man they expect the same. — Bob Dylan

Things that only a writer would understand - you're writing a character - you tell that character who she or he is and they stop you and make it clear, they are the ones telling their story. You just have to let them tell it. — Lisa Marbly-Warir

He was a man who could have anything he wanted and if not, he was a man who was strong enough to take it.
Except one thing.
Me. — Kristen Ashley

People say opportunity knocks, but when it comes to success you really have to break the door off of its hinges before it even gets there. — Robert DiLauro

You show me how much you don't know. He is more than a man. He is a monster. — Susan Fanetti

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome. — Bob Hope