Humorous Epitaphs Quotes & Sayings

Creatures smart enough and unlucky enough to have figured out we're alive, and we're going to die without ever knowing any purpose. We can pretend all we want and we can wish all we want, but that basic existential fact remains - we can't know. — James Redfield

I've always loved fashion and, of course, enjoyed my experiences walking on runways, but I love watching the shows as well! Now I understand more why it's such a big deal for the industry and why people work so hard before and during fashion weeks. It's interesting to see the same things from a different angle. — Tao Okamoto

Out," I instructed as I began peeling my clothes from my body. "I am going to pee for twenty-seven minutes, and then I'm going to shower for forty-two minutes, followed by scrubbing my teeth for sixty-one minutes. — Robyn Peterman

Here lies W.C.Fields. I'd rather be living in Philadelphia. — W.C. Fields

It can play solitaire and minesweeper, replied Artemis innocently. — Eoin Colfer

Reread that Bronte book all you want, but Jane Eyre's never going to get gender-reassignment surgery or train to become a kick-ass ninja assassin. — Chuck Palahniuk

I did a school play when I was 10 where I played a cold germ infecting a whole classroom of kids. The play was called 'Piffle It's Only a Sniffle.' I'd never had so much fun. It was a thrill. — Kim Cattrall

One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, wrote, "The tongue has the power of life and death."2 Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other. Solomon further noted, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. — Gary Chapman

Expectations are pretty tough on relationships. — Woody Harrelson