Humorous Bar Mitzvah Quotes & Sayings

The brigand in the inner palace had led the guards on a lively chase, picking corridors and servants' hallways almost as if he had studied the palace layout. — Patrick Weekes

A trio of reputations lie at the heart of Henry James's 'The Portrait of a Lady.' — Tina Brown

In one day I had altered my life; my life, therefore, was alterable. This simple axiom did not call out for exegesis; no, it entered my bloodstream directly, as powerful as heroin. I could feel it pump and surge, the way it brightened my veins to a kind of glass. I had wakened that morning to narrowness and predestination and now I was falling asleep in the storm of my own free will. — Carol Shields

Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it. — Horace

Political activists of all stripes are usually a wacky bunch, and never more so than in a system like Britain's, where power is effected via the quiescence of the electorate as much as its convictions. — Will Self

Art in its widest sense is the extension of the personality: a host of artificial limbs. — Herbert Read

Firing up my iPod, I selected my favorite workout playlist and started at a slow jog. "The Final Countdown" came on, putting me instantly in the zone. — L. H. Cosway

People who think of themselves as being entirely self-sufficient are, in fact, selfish. They nearly always proclaim their opinions as the only ones that count, their feelings as the only ones that matter, their ideas as the only ones worth thinking. — Samuel Britten

All concepts in which an entire process is semiotically concentrated elude definition; only that which has no history is definable. — Friedrich Nietzsche

While some might mistakenly consider value investing a mechanical tool for identifying bargains, it is actually a comprehensive investment philosophy that emphasizes the need to perform in-depth fundamental analysis, pursue long-term investment results, limit risk, and resist crowd psychology. — Seth Klarman

I passed by your lodging just now, and thought: 'I'll go in to him; he is kinder than any of them, and he was there at the time.' Forgive a poor creature who's no use to anyone; i'll go away directly; I'm going ... — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious - nobody saw me. — Anthony Jeselnik

I still write. I'd love to write more trashy chick-lit. At the moment, I just re-write my own lines, which probably annoys most directors - though, thankfully not Adam Brooks! — Isla Fisher