Humorism Quotes & Sayings

Luxury items are those things that are mass-produced by a third party and marketed to us to purchase so that we can express our individuality. — Celso Cukierkorn

Some things you can't win, though I don't like to admit it. I'm not used to losing much of anything, whether its a race or a debate, but among the things that I nearly lost are my life, my neck, and my good name, and I've gained a realization: a life of unbroken success is not only impossible, it's probably not even good for you ... — Lance Armstrong

At this point in my career I'm not concerned about the money, it's about winning. Nothing else even matters. — Carmelo Anthony

I'm not prepared for a zombie apocalypse. I need more bottled water, a shotgun, and stronger abs. I have plenty of canner food. — Jenna Fischer

I love doing a show that makes no mention of ethnicity. — Al Madrigal

So next time your selflessness is praised in front of others, beware: making sacrifices for others makes it easier for them to sacrifice you. — Daniel M. Wegner

As women, we have more of a tendency to be people-pleasers, and I know a lot of women who are not vocal about what makes them happy. — Katherine Heigl

Her soul opened slowly and timidly to her kind, but her imagination rushed out to the beauties of the visible world; and the decaying majesty of Allfriars moved her strangely. — Edith Wharton

The train station - busy, swarming with people, luggage, porters, taxi drivers and limousine chauffeurs - a giant honeycomb, with worker bees flying in and out, carrying the trash, which covers the entire floor, in and out of the building. Only the honey has been consumed by the selected few, and nothing but the mucus remains. The line - a monstrous larva - the line stretches from the information window and extends almost out of the door. A human worm - hundreds of legs and hands, twisting and breathing disease. What was I thinking? This is just a city like any other, a city with its inhabitants, always busy, from the morning until the nighttime, always itching for a fight, always ready to chew me up and spit me out. A stripped and ragged bone, tossed aside when I can no longer feed its hungry belly. The belly of a beast - a human beast - merciless, yet placatory on the surface. I light a cigarette, spit on the floor, and walk towards the daylight. — Henry Martin

There's room for all sorts of magic and miracles in this world - that's what I think. — Michael Morpurgo

How do you know there's not a door to heaven in the sky between Malaysia and Vietnam? — Sarah Palin

Jack and Ev looked at each other for a moment in the boardroom. At that moment neither realized that they were both fundamental to what Twitter had become. The perfect equilibrium of two different ways of looking at the world: the need to talk about yourself, compared with the need to let people talk about what was happening around them. One could never have existed without the other. That balance, or battle, had created Twitter. A tool that could be used by corporate titans and teens, by celebrities and nobodies, by government officials and revolutionaries. A place where people with fundamentally different views of the world, like Jack and Ev, could converse. — Nick Bilton

I know I can't change the past, but I change the future. I can change, too. And I will. — Nicholas Sparks

Things aren't always what they seem, are they? — N.E. Bode

Too excited to be genuinely happy — James Joyce