Humor Wife Women Quotes & Sayings

In some instances, it may unfortunately be necessary for a Wife to seek outside employment, such as when the husband is dismembered or is dead. — Margaret Dilloway

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

When we first got married, we made a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions. For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement. I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage. However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn't been one big decision. — Albert Einstein

As a sportsman, my aim was to help sportspersons grow. The idea is to see what is good for sport rather than what's good for individuals. — Kapil Dev

Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again. — Gillian Flynn

Are Democrats for expanding U.S. trade with the world and perhaps creating new jobs, or are they out to protect existing U.S. jobs? — Chris Matthews

The marriage of a Jewish son is a bittersweet prospect. There is relief, always, that he has navigated the tantalizing and plentiful assemblies of non-Jewish women to whom the children of the Diaspora are inevitably exposed: from the moment he enters secondary school there is the constant anxiety that a blue-eyed Christina or Mary will lure him away from the tribe. Jewish men are widely known to be uxorious in all the most advantageous ways. And so each mother fears that, whether he be short and myopic, boorish or stupid or prone to discuss his lactose intolerance with strangers, whether he be blessed with a beard rising almost to meet his hairline, he is still within the danger zone. Somewhere out there is a shiksa with designs on her son. Jewish men make good husbands. It is the Jewish woman's blessing as a wife, and her curse as a mother. — Francesca Segal

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I have slowly come to realize that a family is composed of people who are teaching one another. — Anne Truitt

Lesson for young men: if you want your eventual wife to be excited about sucking your dick for forty years, don't create a generation of women who think enthusiasm about sex is a bad thing. — Anna Kendrick

The stronger Hillary is, the weaker she is. The more she seems like a likely presidential winner, the more difficult the senate race becomes in New York. It's perfect. — Dick Morris

Invention is nothing more than a fine deviation from, or enlargement on a fine model ... — Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

When men and women produce a baby together for the first time, it's an absolute festival of mutual incompetence.
From The Wife Drought — Annabel Crabb

When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down; it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss. — Mark Twain

It's because his wife left him. That's why he's acting funny. She left him the other night. While she was putting her bags into the taxi he was outside on the footpath begging her to stay. On his knees! Why are men so embarrassing?
Bev — Louis Nowra

TIME
Time
And how it slips through my fingers
Without putting its ring on them,
And I remain simply its lover — Visar Zhiti

Abraham Lincoln wasn't much of a dancer. "Miss Todd, I should like to dance with you in the worst way," he told his future wife. Miss Todd later said to a friend, "He certainly did."

"John Quincy Adams was a first-rate swimmer. Once when he was skinny-dipping in the Potomac River, a women reporter snatched his clothes and sat on them until he gave her an interview."

"(Andrew Johnson couldn't read until he was fourteen! He didn't learn to write until after he was married!) — Judith St. George

This devotion, so great and so confident, to the august Queen of Heaven, has never forth with such brilliancy as when the militant Church of Go has seemed to be endangered by the violence of heresy spread abroad, or by an intolerable moral corruption, or by the attacks of powerful enemies. Ancient and modern history and the more sacred annals of the Church bears witness to public and private supplications addressed to the Mother of God, to help She has granted in return, and to the peace and tranquillity which She has obtained from God. — Pope Leo X