Humor Trust Quotes & Sayings

It's hard to trust our own decisions, but we have no options. We have to do that in order to be all right with ourselves. — Art Hochberg

Quatermain (while climbing down): We are above an abyss such as satan's own, Miss Murray.Pray not to look down.
Mina: And you, Sir, should not look up.You have me at a disadvantage and I trust you'll not misuse our situation. — Alan Moore

Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them. — Adhish Mazumder

Why should I trust you?" Her eyes narrowed. "All I really know about you is that you're not loyal to your girlfriends, you treat one-night stands like crap, and apparently you've made quite a name for yourself not only in the business world, but also in the bedroom since we last met. — Zoe Forward

You're not having sex with him. I know these guys, and you don't. I'm trusting you with Claudia Reeshman. You need to trust me about Dean Robillard."
She wouldn't let him off that easily. "You're looking for a wife. Maybe I'm just looking for a little fun."
"If you need fun," he shot back, 'I'll give you fun."
She was stunned. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

NEVER TRUST a blanket statement. They're all false. — Peter Wisan

Happiness is gentleness, peace, concentration, simplicity, forgiveness, humor, fearlessness, trust, and now. — Hugh Prather

Don't trust the heart, it wants your blood. — Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

Gurdinn ignored him, still speaking to the baron. "I would sooner soak my cock in honey and ask a bear not to bite than trust a Black Noose, my lord."
Braylar clapped and said, "I wouldn't have suspected you of such colorful wit, Captain Honeycock. You're a man of surprising gifts."
Gurdinn wheeled on him, hand on his sword. "Shut your mouth, right quick. — Jeff Salyards

Trust, a sense of humor, and don't let the sun go down on an argument without trying to make it up. That's all I know about good marriage. I've been married a long time - it seems to be working. — Stephen King

Is he safe?" I whispered as soon as the baker was out of earshot.

"I very much doubt it," Hal said in a low voice.

I frowned. "You're meant to say 'yes, I'd trust him with my life.' That sort of thing. Something reassuring."

He blinked twice at me. "I beg your pardon. Next time I'll read between your very vague lines, and lie. Will that make you happy? — Mirriam Neal

I hate the vamp jobs. They think they're so suave. It's not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want to be all sexy, too. And trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy. — Kiersten White

There is a rule in Hell: Don't trust anyone who takes time out of their day to help you. — Heather Heffner

Are you French?' I asked instead.

'Oui!'

Foreign. Foreign spy. French Communist Party acted on Stalin's instructions during part of World War II. French Communist spy.

Stop it stop it stop it

I turned to Art, a black kid who was a foot and a half taller than me and whose pecs were about to burst of his shirt and eat someone. I gave him a two on the delusion detector. I didn't trust those pecs.

'Hi,' he rumbled.

I waved weakly. — Francesca Zappia

You spoke to Nicodemus?' Vivian asked.
[Francesca] 'We did.'
V: 'And he trusts you?'
F: 'As much as one might after a first impression involving hatchets. — Blake Charlton

Get your associates as fast as you can and then get a bachelors."
"I don't want that. I want to work in TV."
"Trust me, Laura. You'd be happier if you were an accountant. — Teresa Lo

Text from Mimi to Caroline:
So I'm thinking we should have a game night - you know, play Pictionary and stuff like that?
I'd love to, but I'm slammed. When were you thinking?
Maybe the Saturday night before Thanksgiving? Can you spare a few hours over the weekend?
I can spare a few hours, yes, that's about it. You guys wanna come out to Sausalito? Be nice not to have to go back into the city.
We can do that. I was thinking we should invite Sophia.
Of course we should.
And Neil.
Oh boy.
Trust me.
There's an entire wall of windows in Jillian's house, Mimi. The last thing I need is someone throwing things.
Trust me.
Think Barry Derry sells party insurance? — Alice Clayton

The dragon flew up and settled in the crook of Mina's hood, and quickly became invisible again.
"I don't trust that thing," Jared shot back.
"Relax, I find him quite cute. Isn't that right, Ander?" She held up a finger and felt the invisible dragon rub its face against her.
"Great, you've named it, now you're gonna want to keep it. But I'm telling you that thing better be house-trained." He turned to the bookshelf and began to pull open the book to open the hidden exit door.
Mina felt Ander leave her shoulder but didn't let Jared know he was missing. She saw Constance's teacup float mysteriously above Jared's head. She clapped her hand over her mouth to contain the laughter. A second later the cup turned over, spilling lukewarm tea on Jared's unsuspecting head.
"Oh, it better not have just peed on me!" he screamed. — Chanda Hahn

I'm very busy."
"The sign on the door said closed."
Finbar shook his head. "Never trust a door; they'll always lie to you. — Derek Landy

I'm with the federal government, Drummond, Trust me is another way of saying I'm lying. — Brian Haig

Michael: Barzini will set me up through somebody close ... that, supposedly, I won't suspect.
Hagen: Somebody like me.
Michael: You're Irish, they won't trust you.
Hagen: I'm German-American.
Michael: To them that's Irish. — Mario Puzo

Casey doesn't trust him."
"Casey doesn't trust anyone," I replied. "He's paranoid like that. I mean, come on, he's a werewolf who installed a nanny cam in his kids' room." I pointed my spoon at Ali for emphasis. "A nanny cam. — Jennifer Lynn Barnes

People who believed in God today will doubt him tomorrow and those who doubted him today will believe in him tomorrow because believing in someone else doesn't work. Believe in yourself. — Vann Chow

I didn't exactly relish the idea of getting a tattoo, trust me. It was right up there with blue hair. — Rachel Hawkins

Never trust a German to get a sauce right. Their solution to everything is just add more butter. — Kate Quinn

I am not sure I trust you."
"You can trust me with your life, My King."
"But not with my wine, obviously. Give it back. — Megan Whalen Turner

Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain? — J.K. Rowling

Go naked. Trust me, if you don't have a thing to wear, that's the obvious choice. — Dave Freer

I denounce the do-gooders, the feel-gooders, the "activist clubs," and anyone else who makes people feel like the problem is being taken care of. Trust me. The problem is not being taken care of. — Blake Nelson

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

Further movements are not recommended," said Mr. Croup, helpfully. "Mister Vandemar might have a little accident with his old toad-sticker. Most accidents do occur in the home. Is that not so, Mister Vandemar?"
"I don't trust statistics," said Mr. Vandemar's blank voice. — Neil Gaiman

How many of us are there?" he demanded in a less than amused tone.
"Legions, surely, don't you think it must be so?"
"How can you joke about even this?" he asked, anger evident in his voice. A rarity that he expressed it, or any other emotion, for that matter. Of course, that didn't mean the emotions weren't there, and I'd experienced every one he'd refused to show.
"Don't knock what you haven't tried, Michel. Trust me when I say my regular routine of self-amusement is a much better prophylactic against insanity than your grueling regimen of nightly self-flogging. — Krisi Keley

The R is the wrong way roond and you left the A and a Y out of Anybody,' said Jeannie, because it is a wife's job to stop her husband actually exploding with pride.
'Ach, wumman, I didna' ken which way the fat man wuz walkin',' said Rob, airly waving a hand. 'Ye canna trust the fat man. That's the kind of thing us nat'ral writin' folk knows about. One day he might walk this way, next day he might walk that way. — Terry Pratchett

He found that after prolonged contact with Claire and her opinions, he had much less trust in physicians that heretofore - and he hadn't had much to begin with. — Diana Gabaldon

Never trust a woman who gives funny names to means of transport. — Terry Pratchett

Oh, Clikk, thank the stars!' she exclaimed, leaping into my arms. 'The pirate man said to trust him and so I gave him my dress and went with the other pirate in his ship!'
'Oh, good,' I said. 'But next time a pirate tells you to trust him, you mustn't. Understood? — Meg Merriet

There was something about Mikie that made me want to trust him. It might have been the Centanario Anejo. — Nadja Baer

Trust is not hoping your partner will love you; it is KNOWING that they DO. — Julieanne O'Connor

More wine," Lightsong said, raising his cup.
"You can't get drunk, Your Grace," Llarimar noted. "Your body is immune to all toxins."
"I know," Lightsong said as a lesser servant filled his cup. "But trust me - I'm quite good at pretending. — Brandon Sanderson

I think I can relate to this guy [Psycho Sam] that ended up ... This desire to go off the grid and live on his own and didn't trust anyone or anything and I guess the thing that saved him in my head was that he had a great sense of humor. — Rhys Darby

Olivia sat back and propped her half-boots on the table. 'So far it's working. He has to return to me because I have his sister hostage.' She briefly put her fingertips to her lips. 'Did I just say that? I mean I'm protecting the baby sister and earning his trust — Kresley Cole

Still I considered the M16 my bestest of besties. Always by my side, even at night, burrowed into my sleeping bag with me, faithful and true. In the 4th Wave, you can't trust that people are still people. But you can trust that your gun is still your gun.
Shhh, Cassie. It's close.
Close — Rick Yancey

What then remains, but well our power to use,
And keep good-humor still whate'er we lose?
And trust me, dear, good-humor can prevail,
When airs, and flights, and screams, and scolding fail. — Alexander Pope

One day a little old lady came and asked my name, saying she couldn't read my nametag. I told her and reached for the little slip of paper she held, but she put it behind her back. It seemed she wanted to chat before giving it up. Fine with me. We chatted about our matching cardigans (the fact that I dress like a little old lady was not lost on me) and we chatted about how the Portland weather bothered her bones. We talked for a long while about her husband and how much she'd grown to hate him over the years. Then, since I guessed I'd earned her trust, she handed me her slip of paper. It was for a book on exotic poisons. I got her the book and spent the next few weeks scanning the obituaries for every old man that had died. So, yes, folks I may be an accomplice to murder. Don't say there's no excitement at the library. — Nick Pageant

Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, to learn what we are capable of. — Jason Mraz

Trust me-that toilet and me were best friends for the first few days I was here. — Alexander Gordon Smith

It was strange to stand there in front of the mirror and see myself like I was my own best friend, a kid wanted to hang with forever. This was a boy I could travel to the seacoasts with, a boy I'd like to meet up with in foreign cities like Calcutta and London and Brazil, a boy I could trust who also had a good sense of humor and liked smoked oysters from a can and good weed and the occasional 40 ounces of malt. If I was going to be alone for the rest of my life this was the person I wanted to be alone with. — Russell Banks

Anyway, why would you trust anything written down? She certainly didn't trust "Mothers of Borogravia!" and that was from the government. And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust?
Very nearly everyone, come to think of it ... — Terry Pratchett

Sorry, Roy, I just don't trust you enough to believe that you lied. — Rich Burlew

You do not know me, but I am a juvenile delinquent. I do not trust authority figures, I probably will not graduate from high school, and statistics say my present rowdiness and vandalism will likely lead to more serious crimes. I am a dangerous fellow, and I am causing mayhem in this store. [ ... ] There. I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid store employees. If you could see me, you would be frightened. — Katherine Applegate

But let me just say that talking dirty is so important in sex. And it's pretty easy. To wit: establish from the very beginning that you like this. And trust me, you want to do it early on. Because if you wait too long to introduce the concept, your Special Lady Friend will be a little thrown and might not take you seriously. Think of it as a hat. If you never, ever wear a hat and one day you try to rock a fedora with a feather, all of your friends will be like, "Dude - why are you wearing a fucking fedora with a fucking feather?" You'll feel insecure and never wear it again. Now imagine that scenario, but in bed with your hardened dick out and it's your girlfriend saying, "Dude - why the fuck are you talking like that?" Not good. — Olivia Munn

I don't trust people with empty-stomach breath to tell me what taste is. — Tracie Egan

Lessons can be learned from each and every movie in the series. Like take this lasting and most important lesson from Return of the Jedi: If you ever have the option, always, always wear a gold bikini. Trust me, I know, I've done it once or twice. — Olivia Munn

You're hurt."
"No. No, I'm fine. It's not blood. The militiamen were adjusting Sir Lewis's trebuchet, and there was a mishap. You took a melon for me." She smiled, even though her lips trembled. — Tessa Dare

Forget art. Put your trust in ice cream. — Charles Baxter

My dogs can't do anything
and what a relief. I don't make any demands of them, and I don't try to shape them or their future. For the most part, I trust them to make the right choices for themselves. I always look forward to seeing them, and I love just watching them sleep. What a great relationship. — Amy Chua

I trust my points are noted ... Very noted ... Received, recognized, and duly considered with the utmost gravity. Sealed, notarized, and firmly imprinted upon my rational essence. — Scott Lynch

Why are all gay men understanding and compassionate?"
"Pfft." I arced an eyebrow at her. "They're not, trust me. Its a myth."
"A straight man wouldn't understand cramps, mood swings, backaches, not to mention the price of tampons ... — Zathyn Priest

In the nineteenth century, The Romantics viewed Nature as benign, a glowing reflection of God's grace. Now we know better. Nature is brutal and, if it is feminine, she's not the kind of woman you can trust. Human beings may be her finest achievement yet, but when you get right down to brass tacks, we're meat. AIDS and organisms like streptococcus don't give a crap that we subdued the earth or produced a Shakespeare ... — Rick Yancey

You can't trust just any old person who comes along with a hundred puffins and a pretty face! — Catherynne M Valente

Leo," Hazel gasped, "I can't - my arms - "
"Hazel," he said. "Do you trust me?"
"No!"
"Me neither," Leo admitted. — Rick Riordan

Never trust a man with a penis. — Darynda Jones

The closest most people have ever come to understanding what an investment banker does may have been on October 24, 1995, when they heard the outrageous special interest story of the day. The wire services released the story first. It was quickly picked up and parroted by almost every major media outlet in the country as a classic example of Wall Street excess. A fifty-eight-year-old frustrated managing director from Trust Company of the West, on an airplane trip from Buenos Aires to New York City, downed an excessive number of cocktails, got out of his seat in the first-class cabin of a United Airlines flight, dropped his pants, and took a crap
on the service cart. There you have it. That's what bankers do: consume, process, and disseminate. — Peter Troob

The binders, the charts, the grids may seem formidable, but the meetings themselves are built around informality, trust, emotion and humor. — Jack Welch

Trust everybody, but always cut the cards. — Finley Peter Dunne

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. — Chelsea Handler

I took the Nuban's bow. I didn't trust the midget to be able to run down any thieves, and besides, I might want to shoot a circus clown or two. Just for laughs. — Mark Lawrence

Kestrel raised one brow. How very surprising. Didn't you just make a promise and ask me to trust your word? Really, Arin. You must sort out your lies and your truths or even you won't know which is which. — Marie Rutkoski

Poker isn't all about the cards. Poker's mostly about attention. You got a woman whose legs are like yours, tits are like yours, hair is like yours and ass is like yours, all she's gotta do for me is sit there and half the men at the table won't be concentrating on their cards. They'll be thinking about your legs, tits, hair and ass, how much they want 'em and just what they'd do to get 'em."
"I appreciate the compliment, Ty, but I don't think I'm all that."
"You got a dick?"
I felt my mouth twitch.
Then I answered, "No."
"Trust me — Kristen Ashley

The components of happiness are quite simple. Happiness is gentleness, peace, concentration, simplicity, forgiveness, humor, fearlessness, trust, and now. In its true form each quality includes all the rest, for happiness is whole, and one feels whole when genuinely happy. — Hugh Prather

In God we trust, all others pay cash. — Margaret Atwood

He curled his claw into a fist. "I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass."
Adam's lip curled. "Remind me not to piss you off."
The demon raised his brow. "Trust that shit, mancy. — Jaye Wells

If you don't trust anyone, they can't let you down. — Simon R. Green

You can never fully trust the validity of quotes on the internet. — Abraham Lincoln

Cole!" Cassandra smacked him on the shoulder.
"Wha-?" When he opened his mouth all you could see was half-chewed goo.
"How old are you?" I demanded. I threw shrimp at him and it got stuck in his tangle of wig hair. Bergman fished it out, wiped it off, and put it back on the serving dish.
"Now, thats disgusting," said Cassandra.
"Children!" Vayl's voice boomed in our ears, loud and sudden enough to make us all jump guiltily. "I trust you are all preforming actual work right now."
"Chill out, Vayl," I replied. "Bergman is just conducting and experiment to see how vampires respond to ingesting brown hair dye."
"That makes me curious, Vayl," said Cole in a sticky, goodie-between-the-gums voice that reminded me of Winnie the Pooh after a major honey binge. "Have you ever colored your hair? You know blonds have more fun."
"Not when they are in the hospital. — Jennifer Rardin

Our democratic faith is more than the creed of our country, it is the inborn hope of our humanity, an ideal we carry but do not own, a trust we bear and pass along. And even after nearly 225 years, we have a long way yet to travel. — George W. Bush

My mother always advised me not to trust a dead person. — Jayde Scott

But to be a parent is to live in the past-present-future all at once. It is to hug your children and be intensely aware of how much smaller they felt last year ... even as you wonder how much bigger they will feel the next. It is to be a time-shifter, to marvel at the budding of their intellect, their verbal dexterity, their sense of humor ... at the same time rewinding and fast-forwarding ... to when they were younger, to when they'll be older. It is to experience longing for the here and now, which I know sounds flaky - sort of like complaining about being homesick when you're already home - but can happen, trust me, when you live in multiple time zones all at once. — Youngme Moon

She'd been trained as a child no to trust anyone, but he'd just saved her life, and she was freezing. He could be a yeti for all she cared. — Krystal Shannan

This is why I have trust issues.
-A girl realizing her shampoo will never make her look like the model in the advertisement — Julie Johnson

Well," he said, "I think we've found our way in. We just wait until they're duking it out, but trust me, these Humans First types don't have a lot of staying power or they'd have been at the gym with me before. I doubt Grandma Kent there is going to do a lot of damage." He pointed at a gray-haired, hunched lady in a shawl, carrying what looked liked a gardening tool. "It's like Plants Versus Zombies, and I'm not rooting for the zombies, weirdly enough. — Rachel Caine

Never trust a theologian who doesn't have a sense of humor. — D. Elton Trueblood

How can you tell there's anything out there?" said the man politely. "The door's closed."
"But you know there's a whole Universe out there!" cried Zarniwoop. "You can't dodge your responsibilities by saying they don't exist!"
The ruler of the Universe thought for a long while while Zarniwoop quivered with anger.
"You're very sure of your facts," he said at last. "I couldn't trust the thinking of a man who takes the Universe - if there is one - for granted."
Zarniwoop still quivered, but was silent.
"I only decide about my Universe," continued the man quietly. "My Universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay."
"But don't you believe in anything?"
The man shrugged and picked up his cat.
"I don't understand what you mean," he said. — Douglas Adams

Kids, don't trust any radical under twenty-five. His cock tends to get in the way of his political vision — Juan Antonio Butler

Cal: "I'm really sorry, Professor, but how do you explain these ? Swiss Cake Rolls. That doesn't rhyme; it's not cute; it's not childlike. And this is one of our most-respected snack foods, is it not? How is that, Professor? Hmmm?"
Eliot: "Well, isn't it obvious? We trust the Swiss for their ability to engineer things, to build with precision."
Cal: "We do?"
Eliot: "Do I even have to mention Swiss watches? Swiss Army knives? Swiss cheese? If anyone can build a non-threatening, non-lethal snack cake, it's the Swiss. They're neutral, we can trust them not to attack us with trans-fatty acids and sugar. I think you would feel differently if they were German Cake Rolls. North Korean Cake Rolls. I bet you wouldn't eat them."
Cal: "I bet I would. — Brad Barkley

Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldn't trust it. Often you couldn't even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something else - coincidence, maybe, or providence. You barred the door against it, and it was standing behind you. Then just when you thought you had it nailed down it walked away with the hammer. — Terry Pratchett

Ad agencies do all kinds of market research that ask people what they think they want, and instead, you should be creating things that you want. If you do something and you get it, the rest of the world will get it, too. Trust your own instincts, your own intellect, and your own sense of humor. — George Lois

There are kinds of human problems which really do seem, as our tidy expressions would have it, to "come to a head" and "demand to be dealt with." But there are also problems, often just as serious, which come to nothing that we can recognize or openly deal with. Some long-lived, insidious problems simply slip us off to one side of ourselves. Some gently rob us of just enough energy or faith so that days which once took place on a horizontal plane become an endless series of uphill slogs. And some - like high water working year after year at the roots of a riverside tree - quietly undercut our trust or our hope, our sense of place, or of humor, our ability to empathize, or to feel enthused, and we don't sense impending danger, we don't feel the damage at all, till one day, to our amazement, we find ourselves crashing to the ground. — David James Duncan

You either trust me or you don't. I've never let you down, and I won't walk away unless you make me. Period. Now, unless you have a real emergency, I'd like to get back to my vacation. And my corpse, thanks. — Jeaniene Frost

So he starts getting up and brings me along by my lips. Alright. Now we're being videotaped. His backs to the camera. "Trust me?" He asks.
"Uh ... sure?" Huh?
He starts to lift up my shirt when he kisses me again. I bite his lip and glare at him. "What? I need your shirt for the camera."
"Use your own goddamn shirt! — Bella Shadow

Lights! Lights would be very good right now! (Amanda) Since they hurt my eyes to the point I can barely see, no they wouldn't. Trust me. (Kyrian) Trust you, my left foot! I'm not immortal over here! (Amanda) Yeah, well, in a bad enough car wreck, neither am I. (Kyrian) I really hate your sense of humor. (Amanda) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!" — Lewis Black

When are you going to trust me Max?" asked Fang.
"When I go completely bonkers," I laughed. — James Patterson

Just because all the rats are gone doesn't mean I trust the rattlesnake that got rid of them. — John Steiner

I don't trust nobody that don't have my name tattooed on her ass, and then it's iffy. — Lois Greiman

There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, I'd met a girl - I mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in cages these days. I would have liked to see Brid fill out a dating questionnaire, though. What would she put? "Hi, my name is Bridin Blackthorn. I'm next in line to rule the local werewolf pack. I like long walks on the beach and destroying my enemies. I have four older brothers, so watch your step. We'll be forming a queue to the left for potential suitors."
And, trust me, there would be a queue. — Lish McBride

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter. — Lemony Snicket

Smite me? You think you can smite me? Do you even know what that means?
I shrugged. "What do you think it means?" I thought I'd gotten it right.
"Nothing," she cackled, "Absolutely nothing because you couldn't smite me even if you knew what it meant."
"Really? A minute ago you didn't think I could see you. How do you know what I can't do?"
That slowed her down.
"Trust me, if I can see you, I can smite you." - Aurora to Peaches — A&E Kirk

Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They'll believe anything they see in print. — E.B. White

No, no. I trust your judgement. Implicitly. You're just wrong. — Hy Conrad