Humor Hats Quotes & Sayings

Legionary life is beautiful, not because of riches, partying or the acquisition of luxury, but because of the noble comradeship which binds all Legionaries in a sacred brotherhood of struggle. — Corneliu Zelea Codreanu

You have wondered perhaps, why all real accountants wear hats? They are today's cowboys — David Foster Wallace

May we muster courage at the crossroads, courage for the conflicts, courage to say, "no," courage to say, "yes," for courage counts. — Thomas S. Monson

It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself. — Lemony Snicket

Girls," their mother interjected, "you must both stop being strange - it is unattractive. And don't forget your hats. It would be absolutely the end for me if you two came down with freckles at a time like this. — Anna Godbersen

The bedlamite little hats in which American women have tried to out-lunatic each other for the past four years prove conclusively we don't dress to please anyone. We're just docile sheep who accept what's given us. — Beatrice Fairfax

Satan's first strategy is to keep religion intellectual. — Rick Joyner

What good is it, being two stranded British fops in the heart of America, if we don't announce it on Halloween by wearing enormous fuzzy hats for the purpose of our humiliation? — Red Tash

As roses beautify gardens, love beautifies the world. — Matshona Dhliwayo

Mrs. Panabaker is ten years older than God and probably smarter. She stops into the offices every other Thursday to tell my dad what she didn't like about his sermon the previous Sunday. She makes fudge-covered marshmallows at Christmas time and force feeds them to anyone too slow to escape. I've never seen her out of a suit dress and floral scarf, and on Sundays she always wears a matching hat. Last week was a salmon-colored number, and her hat was draped in fake fruit. I wanted to try to eat one of the grapes just to see what she'd do, but I value my life. — A.C. Williams

Hold on to your hats, ladies!' cried Jasper Dash. 'You're in for a wild ride! This futuristic buggy can attain speeds of up to thirty-five miles per hour! — M T Anderson

Elections exist for the sake of the House of Commons and not the House of Commons for the sake of elections. — Winston Churchill

Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you. He gambles, he drinks too much and he always runs away. Since the Rules allow him to make Jokes, he will excuse his behaviour in a variety of comical ways. Physically he is stunted and not at all handsome, although he usually dresses flamboyantly. He tends to wear hats with feathers in. You will discover he is very vain. But, if you can avoid smacking him, you will come to tolerate if not love him. He will contrive, in some cowardly way, to play a major part in saving the world. — Diana Wynne Jones

Mom talks about moving to Canada as though my father had requested she start wearing fun hats. "Why not try it?" she thought, instead of "This fucking lunatic wants me to go to a country made of ice and casual racism. — Scaachi Koul

Rincewind wasn't used to people being pleased to see him. It was unnatural, and boded no good. These people were not only cheering, they were throwing flowers and hats. The hats were made out of stone, but the thought was there. — Terry Pratchett

By all accounts Rafe's life had been shattered by the loss of his brother Peter. But whereas she turned away from drink when Draven died, Rafe had simply upended a barrel of brandy on his head and hadn't taken that hat off since. — Eloisa James

I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much. — P.G. Wodehouse

Charlie pushed his fedora back onto his head. Some hats can only be worn if you're willing to be jaunty, to set them at an angle and to walk beneath them with a spring in your stride as if you're only a step away from dancing. — Neil Gaiman

The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that. — Jim Butcher

It was the hat. He looked sweet in the hat. How could a man in a fuzzy blue hat have used human bones to pave his roads? — Jennifer Egan

I've had my share of pain the waves and wars.
Add this to the total. Bring the trial on. — Homer

Bikes are for riding; they're not car hats. — BikeSnobNYC

Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana? — Henny Youngman

This is not exactly what I had in mind when I agreed to miss lunch," Alex said grumpily forty minutes later. He shifted uncomfortably and tried to see what I was doing.
I stared him back into submission. "Wait."
The art room is usually empty Thursday afternoons except for me. Ms. Evers leaves early to teach her UArts class and looks up.Of course, I am one of the few entrusted with the Secret Location of the Key.
A few feet away from where I sat perched on a stool,Alex was posed on the anchient chaise we use for figure drawing. It's a relic, probably from the Palladinetti years: chipped mahogany and dusty velvet, what little remaining stuffing pokes out from a century of holes. I was probably luxurious once. Now it's like sitting on a slightly smelly board. But I'd wanted to sketch Alex as I so often saw him, reclining with his head propped on one hand,listening or talking or coaxing me to put down the glass, already,Ella,and come here. — Melissa Jensen

Who are you all going to gossip about once the
celebrities leave town? You'll need to find someone else to talk about." I couldn't help but laugh.
"We'll just talk about you, Tar. We'll sit around and reminisce about how much fun you used to be
while using the cobwebs growing between your legs to knit hats for the poor! — Tina Reber

Baptists:
I'm a pious guy, but even I have my limits. I draw the line right around spending 8 hours in church every Sunday. Church should be a solemn 45 minutes to sit quietly and feel guilty, with donuts at the end to make you feel better. I don't go in for a full day of singing and dancing and rejoicing, no matter how nice the hats are. I prefer my Gospel monotonously droned to me from a pulpit, thank you very much. — Stephen Colbert

When all are undressed, one is somehow not ashamed, but when one's the only one undressed and everybody is looking, it's degrading,' he kept repeating to himself, again and again. 'It's like a dream, I've sometimes dreamed of being in such degrading positions.' It was a misery to him to take off his socks. They were very dirty, and so were his underclothes, and now everyone could see it. And what was worse, he disliked his feet. All his life he had thought both his big toes hideous. He particularly loathed the coarse, flat, crooked nail on the right one, and now they would all see it. Feeling intolerably ashamed made him, at once and intentionally, rougher. He pulled off his shirt, himself. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

She woke up and realized she had forgotten the definition of the word 'impossible.' She decided it must not have been that important. — Monique Duval

The ocean is the last frontier of human empirical knowledge; even the contours on that eighth-grader's globe are the product of a mix of scientific measurement, inference and conjecture. — Alan Huffman

Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats. — J.K. Rowling

It seems to me that sometimes-or perhaps I might venture most of the time-occurrences have no cause at all. New stars appear and old ones vanish. Short hats become popular again. Things are as they are and do as they please for absolutely no reason at all. — Galen Beckett

I wore goofy hats to school and did musical theater. Most people thought I was a dork. But if you have a sense of humor about it, no one can bring you down. — Zac Efron

I'm more likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger than to try any antic or pickup lines. — Clayton Snyder

Never in all her life had she imagined that this idolized millinery could look, to those who paid for it, like the decorations of an insane monkey. — Charlotte Perkins Gilman

I realized that making music can help me to convey my feelings, and if it can relieve me, maybe it can help someone else? — Marilou

Did you ever see so many pee-wee hats, Carl?"
"They're beanies."
"They call them pee-wees in Brooklyn."
"But I'm not in Brooklyn."
"But you're still a Brooklynite."
"I wouldn't want that to get around, Annie."
"You don't mean that, Carl."
"Ah, we might as well call them beanies, Annie."
"Why?"
"When in Rome do as the Romans do."
"Do they call them beanies in Rome?" she asked artlessly.
"This is the silliest conversation ... — Betty Smith

The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight! — Jerry Coleman

Harriet's mouth dropped open. In her world, urgent meant someone died, the rent was overdue, or dinner could not be served due to lack of funds. It never meant one was anxious for a delivery of hats. — Jen Turano

To move forth and grab your destiny is admirable. To shape your own future with the strength in your fist is beyond that. — S.A. Bouraleh