Humor Akwardness Quotes & Sayings

The long flight from Georgia to England had been pretty uneventful. Exceept that Cal had sat next to me.
Which was fine. Really.
It wasn't like I'd been hyperaware of his presence and jumped the three times his knee bumped mine. And adter that third time, he definitely hadn't shot me a kind of disgusted look and said, "Chill out, will you?"
And when Jenna gave us both a quizzical look, we hadn't snapped, in unison, "Nothing!" Because all of that would have been weird, and Cal and I weren't weird. We were cool. — Rachel Hawkins

Machiavelli had some cold tricks for people who wanted to be demagogues and wanted to take over the world. — Mads Mikkelsen

Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit. He climbed onto the roof of the limbo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like superman-exept with only the underwear.
I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!"
"These children are under my protection," Bes insisted.
"I don't know you," I said, "I never met you before today."
"Nonsense. You expressly asked for my attention."
"I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol! — Rick Riordan

I settled opposite him in my favorite chair, low enough that my feet can touch the floor, wide enough to curl up inside, with a little table beside it just big enough to hold a book and a coffee cup. — Charlaine Harris

If there is such a thing as a lock on an Oscar nomination, ... Hoffman has one. — Roger Ebert

Tim O'Brien's book about Vietnam, 'The Things They Carried', has won every award, is studied in college and is considered to be definitive. But it's fiction. — Dave Eggers

National enthusiasm is the nursery of genius. — Henry Theodore Tuckerman

There is stuff I would have liked to have done. But there are no sour grapes. — Frank Gehry

I never would have believed I could kiss a boy that way. I thought there were only two types of kissing: the passionate, rip your clothes off kind, and the dry, chaste peck you gave an elderly person because it was expected. But there was another kind of kiss. The kind that sealed a moment in a time capsule, forever: a small moment that branded my soul. — Vikki Wakefield

Because there are hundreds of different ways to say one thing, I, being a writer, songwriter, and poet, speak childishly and incoherently. In speech there is so much to decide in so little time. — Criss Jami

I love being inside you, and touching your face, and opening my eyes so I know it's really you. And after we're finished, I go into a fever thinking about a day when I can leave myself inside you. When I'll steal the soap and turn off the water so I stay there... inside you... part of you. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Hey, uh, you know. Um. If you're alive, uh, call me." I looked at the screen and said, "It's Jane." I closed the phone, thinking, Lame. I am so lame. — Faith Hunter

How can the physique be braced if no fresh breath from the outer world is suffered to permeate the languid, enervating air of thedrawing-room? How can the grasp of the mind be vigorous, without action? Daughters of inherited wealth, or accumulated labor! the wide door of philanthropy is open peculiarly to you! Your life-work lies beyond your threshold: your wealth has placed you above the sorrowful struggle for daily bread which takes up the whole time of so many of your brothers and sisters. You are the almoners of God. A double accountability is yours. — Harriot Kezia Hunt

It's fun to improvise, but I still think it's better to have a great script, you know, like a Charlie Kaufman script. — Sam Rockwell

And anything worth dying for — Joseph Heller

Love removes the world for you, and just as surely when it's going well as when it's going badly. — Alice Munro

When you can light your water on fire due to methane contamination in your ground water, what else can you do but laugh? — Josh Fox