Horny Quotes & Sayings

I'm serious," I say. "I don't want to lose him."
"Then maybe you should go away for a little bit. After all, absence makes the heart grow horny, right?"
"That's not exactly how the saying goes."
"But it should, because you know it's true. If you go away for a couple of days, Ben won't know what to do with himself."
"Maybe you're right," I say, tossing more candy corn into my mouth (therapy in a bag).
"Damn straight, I am. Now, the biggest question: Can I fit into your suitcase? Because I really don't feel like staying here by myself. — Laurie Faria Stolarz

My thoughts about pornography tend to revolve around the fact that while very few of us are zombies, detectives, cowboys, or spacemen, there are an infinite number of books that are recounting the stories of those lifestyles. However, all of us have some sort of feelings or opinions about sex. And yet the only art form which in any way is able to discuss sex, or depict sex, is this grubby despised under the counter art form, which has absolutely no standards. This was what Lost Girls was intended as a remedy for, that there is no reason why a horny piece of literature, that is purely about sex, could not be as beautiful, as meaningful, and have as absorbing characters as any other piece of fiction. — Alan Moore

I'm probably sterile. At least I can stop worrying about getting girls pregnant (if I ever get to have sex with them). Do you still get horny if your nuts are broken? My eyes open, and I find Andre standing over me, saying, "I felt your nads through my helmet!" I stop writhing for a second to give him props. "That's gold, dude! — Brent Crawford

They have two moods, hungry and horny. So if you see a boy without an erection, you should go make him a sandwich. - Girl, don't you dare listen to them. You tell them to make their own damn sandwiches. — Jillian Dodd

It was a bright day, but cold, and the whores had emerged, working the Combat Zone, looking cold and bizarre in their miniskirts, boots, and blond wigs. Being seductive at twenty degrees was heavy going, I thought. Being horny at twenty degrees wasn't all that easy either. — Robert B. Parker

When he was level with his partner he brought his other arm around his back, immediately going for that gorgeous ass. He gave it a good, hard squeezed before running his thumb down the crease. Green moaned inside their kiss, pushing his ass back into his hand. "Horny fucker," Ruxs hissed back. "You started it." Green moaned, worming his hand between them to cup Ruxs' swelling dick. "Ahhh, fuck. We gotta stop. Work. Need to go to work," Ruxs said breathlessly. He felt like a king. Green was looking at him like he could throw him on the cold floor right now and spread his legs wide for him, all he had to do was say to. Ruxs slapped his ass hard and Green moaned like the hot slut he was. — A.E. Via

Believe me, I know. The moment you open yourself to somebody else emotionally, it's just one big mess. Much better to be a great big horny slut and keep it all simple and clean. — Lucie Hart

She was in trouble, and he was turning into a horny lecher. He was going to the special hell. — Alyssa Day

See, sexuality is less about the actual act of having pretty good sex for seventeen minutes twice a week and much more about surrounding yourself with an ever simmering sensual energy, pulsing just underneath your daily life and infusing almost everything you do. It's like you're always just a little bit horny, just a little turned on, but the object of your gentle lust isn't just your lover, it's divine life itself. — Sera J. Beak

Remember when you were a kid and the boys didn't like the girls? Only sissies liked girls? What I'm trying to tell you is that nothing's changed. You think boys grow out of not liking girls, but we don't grow out of it. We just grow horny. That's the problem. We mix up liking pussy for liking girls. Believe me, one couldn't have less to do with the other. — Jules Feiffer

It had taunted, provoked, brushed its big, hard body against hers at every opportunity, and in general lounged about looking like the epically horny fairy it was reputed to be.

~Gabby's thoughts on Adam — Karen Marie Moning

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living. — Johnny Bench

They're pretty conspicuous."
"Why? Are they green and horny?" I willed a blush away and said, "I mean, as in having horns,not ... the other. — Rachel Hawkins

Why is Anthony Amowitz using his pimp smile on you?"
"You're only calling him a pimp because he's here. At Marcie's."
"Yeah, so?"
"He's being nice." I elbowed her. "Smile back."
"Being nice? He's being horny. — Becca Fitzpatrick

I also remember when I watched Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer [1990] at, like, age 15. That scared the crap out of me. Because it didn't operate inside the usual conventions of the horror genre in the way that I could accept. I can accept horny teenager counselors being murdered at camp. But I couldn't accept the derangement of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, which was that anyone could be murdered at any moment - whole families, with no build-up music and no meaning. It terrified me. — Christopher Bollen

I stare at the television as Belle bends over to feed a bird. Then I lean forward, hoping for a nice cleavage shot ...
I'm going to hell, aren't I?
I can't help it. I'm desperate. Frustrated.
Horny — Emma Chase

He checked his watch. "One more drink," Win said. "And then I will go in the other room because - oh, you'll love this - Mee so horny." I — Harlan Coben

My big studly giraffe."
"My little horny monkey. — Jim Provenzano

If I ain't horny, I check to see if my heart's beatin'. — Richard Pryor

Time seemed to stand still as they remained embraced, him holding his body weight on his elbows as he looked down at her and grinned.
"Now that's a vacation." She laughed and then his grin fell and he shook his head.
"Like a couple of horny teenagers with no thought of tomorrow and no thought of protection. We should both be shot."
"Can you wait until the glow leaves me before you shoot me?" she asked.
He smiled down at her. "You are glowing. You look gorgeous." "It's the look of a sated woman." "I like it. — Carla Cassidy

It's not just that I'm a horny seventeen year old male and she's a beautiful girl, although I don't necessarily expect you to believe me. — Francine Pascal

I hear his denim jeans crumple to the floor and my insides squeal like a horny teenager. — Skyla Madi

We knew it was holy. Every sentence we cherished was sturdy and Biblical in its form, carved somehow by hand-dragged implement or slapped onto sheets by an inky key. For sentences were sculptural, were we the only ones who understood? Sentences were bodies, too, as horny as the flesh-envelopes we wore around the house all day. — Jonathan Lethem

If I was good each week, my father would take me to a different pet store each Saturday. I had a snake, horny toads, turtles, lizards, rabbits, guinea pigs ... I kept my alligator in the bathtub until it got too big. — Dick Van Patten

To be honest, I think love is complete bullshit. I don't think anyone ever loves anyone. I think the best people ever get is horny; horny and scared, so when they find someone who makes them horny, and they get too scared of the world outside, they stay together and they call it love. — Neil Gaiman

Grinning, Cooper leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "I like your shampoo."
"You're being weird."
"I'm just horny as hell. You were naked in the next room and I wanted you naked in here."
"I'm not having sex with you."
"Tonight," he said with an exasperated sigh. "You keep forgetting to end your declarations with the word 'tonight. — Bijou Hunter

He thought he kept the universe alone;
For all the voice in answer he could wake
Was but the mocking echo of his own
From some tree-hidden cliff across the lake.
Some morning from the boulder-broken beach
He would cry out on life, that what it wants
Is not its own love back in copy speech,
But counter-love, original response.
And nothing ever came of what he cried
Unless it was the embodiment that crashed
In the cliff's talus on the other side,
And then in the far-distant water splashed,
But after a time allowed for it to swim,
Instead of proving human when it neared
And someone else additional to him,
As a great buck it powerfully appeared,
Pushing the crumpled water up ahead,
And landed pouring like a waterfall,
And stumbled through the rocks with horny tread,
And forced the underbrush--and that was all. — Robert Frost

I think I may have an addiction. A sex-maniac beast has awoken, and I am a horny mess nearly all the time. I almost feel suprised that I haven't yet grabbed Estelle and shoved my tongue down that beautiful girls throat. I'd probably get father with Estelle than with her brother.
Oh my God. What is wrong with me? — Jessica Park

This isn't animal experimentation, where you an imagine some proportionate good at the other end of the suffering. This is what we feel like eating. Tell me something: Why is taste, the crudest of our sense, exempted from the ethical rules that govern our other sense? If you stop and think about it, it's crazy. Why doesn't a horny person has as strong a claim to raping an animal as a hungry one does to killing and eating it? — Jonathan Safran Foer

Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he always would be horny. So when Jody sat down across from him and the tsunami of hormones washed over him, he was quite shocked that he had ever forgotten. — Christopher Moore

I think I'll take a shower, shave, get refreshed."
Domenico gave him a smile and lowered his voice. "Why? Because you still feel me inside?"
Seth bit his lip and started playing with his fingers. "You're always here, inside." Seth pointed to his heart, and it was so sweet, Dom hardly recognize the horny beast behind that facade.
He stared at Seth, unsure how to react to such honesty in reply to his dirty question. — K.A. Merikan

I was hot and horny as hell.
Which was typical of me. I'm twenty-five, and I'm healthy, and a healthy girl is always thinking about sex. — Fiona Thrust

I speculate, briefly, on how different the world would be if it were run by women. In that world, if you were a lonely, horny woman - as I am. As I always am- you'd see Blu-tacked postcards by Soho doorways that read 'Nice man in cardigan, 24, will talk to you about The Smiths whilst making you cheese-on-toast+come to parties with you. Apply within'. — Caitlin Moran

Our first kiss, the first touch of our heating lips, the yearning reciprocating from both sides, I was lost in everything. But I had a sudden feeling of eyes staring at our acts and unnecessary muttering. I could feel it even with my closed eyes. So far the sober girl in me resisted and my palms struggled to escape. David realized my condition and he left me be. I could see anger in his eyes for the crowd around but he stayed calm for my sake. My heart purred. 'I am lost now!'
He sat next to me and didn't bother to look at anyone around. Though, we knew many looked upon us and then they turned their faces away. He was horny. I could see his bulge behind his winter suit. I avoided looking and forced myself to gaze into his eyes instead. His pair was fixed on mine, reading mine. I gave a wide smile in an attempt to hide my lust although it was clearly written over my face. — Delicious David

I didn't even try it but the feeling that I got from being slightly high was so nice, I was so relaxed and happy and horny. Tomorrow Claude will be coming to my house, we will bake weed brownies on mugs, order pizza and have sex all the afternoon. — Mariana Calderon De La Barca

Maybe the natural world wasn't so jaw-droppingly horrible, appaling, nasty, vile. Sometimes nature could be quite sweet, really, as delicate as a confused and horny butterfly. — Scott Westerfeld

For the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel peaceful. Not happy. Not sad. Not anxious. Not horny. Just all the higher parts of my brain closing up shop. The cerebral cortex. The cerebellum. That's where my problem is. I'm now simplifying myself. Somewhere balanced in the perfect middle between happiness and sadness. Because sponges never have a bad day. — Chuck Palahniuk

And blessed are the horny hands of toil. — James Russell Lowell

She could sense the desire pouring off the man in front of her, and to be wanted so obviously, so fiercely, went to her head like moonshine. He made her feel like a goddess.
Provided goddesses got this horny. — Christine Warren

I HAVE ANNA all to myself for seven days. Seven days of living by what I start to call the holy trinity of "S" sex, sleep, and sustenance. It's all we really need. My bed is base camp, though we've made forays onto the couch, the kitchen counter, and that one time on my weight bench, though I can't recall how we even got there. I can, however, recall with perfect clarity the way Anna came, how her inner walls clutched me as she cried out. Which makes me horny all over again as I hobble out to the kitchen for more sustenance. — Kristen Callihan

There's a hell of a lot of horny people out there who are not being gratified in the way they should be. — Colleen McCullough

Falling in love is like getting hit by a truck and yet not being mortally wounded. just sick to your stomach, high one minute, low the next. Starving hungry but unable to eat. hot, cold, forever horny, full of hope and enthusiasm, with momentary depressions that wipe you out.
It is also not being able to remove the smile from your face, loving life with a mad passionate intensity, and feeling ten years younger.
Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what's happening. It's inevitable. An event you can't control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course. — Jackie Collins

Do you know what the difference between a Hucow and a normal woman is?
A Hucow lactates great quantities of milk and is always very, very horny. — Bessie Hucow

Sometimes when I need to comfort myself (all the time) I think about your lisp and it creates a wombskin around my brain full of barbituratesque nectar, the side effects of which include a horny surge in my second chakra and pussy, and then severe withdrawal: a love story. — Melissa Broder

I know all too well how painful it is to be constantly aroused, Kyrie. I've been hard for you since the moment I woke up. Since the moment I met you, honestly. I'm always hard for you, Kyrie. I ache for you every moment of every day. I wake up at night, having dreamed of burying my cock inside you, and when I wake up I'm mere moments for coming all over myself like a horny teenager. I am desperate to be inside you, Kyrie. This torture is for both of us. — Jasinda Wilder

A horny Igbo girl's nipple can be used to crush diamond — Pete Edochie

He's probably one of those "love the one you're with" guys
meaning he automatically goes after whatever woman happens to be around when he's feeling horny."
"Just another reason why I'll never get married," I say, getting out of the car.
"Oh, Carrie." He sighs. "I feel sorry for you, then. I worry that you'll never find true love. — Candace Bushnell

I like talking about sex. Especially when I'm horny, but even when I'm not. — John Travolta

I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit? — Tara Sivec

Am I horny enough to hump a bedpost?" Mica asked. "Not quite yet. Should I consult with you first, Doctor?" Sarcasm lay thick and heavy in her voice.
"I believe a consult would be a good idea." Ely nodded with mocking solemnity as Mica lifted herself onto the gurney. "You never know what you may end up hurting if the act isn't done properly. — Lora Leigh

I should have been appalled. Or offended. Anything but horny, but there it was. — Pepper Winters

Shuffled on my feet because my naughty bits felt like they were being pierced with a horny spear. — Anonymous

Yeah, impress her with your carpentry skills. Judging by some of the books she reads, she likes big, strong, guys - men who do honest work to build their muscles. She's horny as hell when she comes to bed some nights. I'm thinking you could offer to mend some fencing, finish my deck, or something. Watching you work would get her juices flowing."

"Is this your way of tricking me into doing your yard work?" Connor snickered and raised his beer. "Strange way to go about it, bud. — Anne Lange

Ultimately, I want to make everyone horny. — Patti Smith

I'm speechless. But my dick has plenty to say. I'm already hard at the idea of Wes being prepped and ready for me. I drop my mouth onto his and he moans again. My tongue glides across his piercing and we're off to the horny dog races. We kiss as if there's a meteor heading straight for the Toronto metropolitan area. Wes's eager hands roam my ass while I suck on his tongue. His eagerness is like a drug, and I want hit after hit. I can feel how hard he is, even through all of our clothes. He wants me to fuck him, and he's all primed and ready? "Mmm," I moan into his mouth. Sexiest fucking thing I ever heard. That's when the doorbell rings. "Hold that thought," I say, pushing up on one arm. "Nooooo!" Wes lifts both his legs to trap me in them. "No." Kiss. "No." Kiss. "Don't even think about it." Pinning his hands to the quilt is easy, because he's horny to the point of distraction. "Stop it, baby. It's the couch delivery. We're paying seventy-five bucks for them to show up on a Saturday. — Sarina Bowen

We shall not attempt to give the reader an idea of that tetrahedron nose-that horse-shoe mouth-that small left eye over-shadowed by a red bushy brow, while the right eye disappeared entirely under an enormous wart-of those straggling teeth with breaches here and there like the battlements of a fortress-of that horny lip, over which one of those teeth projected like the tusk of an elephant-of that forked chin-and, above all, of the expression diffused over the whole-that mixture of malice, astonishment, and melancholy. Let the reader, if he can, figure to himself this combination. — Victor Hugo

Junior, stop being orner." It's what Mama used to say to us when we were little, and I say it to Junior out of habit. Daddy used to say it sometimes, too, until he said it to Randall one day and Randall started giggling, and then Daddy figured out Randall was laughing because it sounded like 'horny'. About a year ago I figured out what it was supposed to be after coming across its parent on the vocabulary list for my English class with Miss Dedeaux: 'ornery'. It made me wonder if there were other words Mama mashed like that. They used to pop up in my head sometime when I was doing the stupidest things: 'tetrified' when I was sweeping the kitchen and Daddy came in dripping beer and kicking chairs. 'Belove' when Manny was curling pleasure from me with his fingers in mid-swim in the pit. 'Freegid' when I was laying in bed in November, curled to the wall like I was going to burrow into another cover or I was making room for a body to lay behind me to make me warm. — Jesmyn Ward

Irene sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just give her the flowers so we can be gone." She glanced at Van. "I grow tired of the company."
Paul walked away and Van leaned against the wall, staring down Irene's cleavage. "You know, Irene," he said low, so only she could hear, "when you're mean to me like that ... "
"Yes?"
"It makes me so horny. — Shelly Laurenston

She fucking shot me. I had been so shocked and horny that my mind couldn't even comprehend what had happened. — J.J. McAvoy

Y.T. is maxing at a Mom's Truck Stop on 405, waiting for her ride. Not that she would ever be caught dead at a Mom's Truck Stop. If, like, a semi ran her over with all eighteen of its wheels in front of a Mom's Truck Stop, she would drag herself down the shoulder of the highway using her eyelid muscles until she reached a Snooze 'n' Cruise full of horny derelicts rather than go into a Mom's Truck Stop. — Neal Stephenson

I'm thoroughly addicted to you, Becca. If I don't get a regular fix of your body, I might go into withdrawal."
"That's a very serious condition. Maybe we should wean you off that addiction."
"Oh, no. I'm happily addicted. I don't have many vices, you know. I don't really drink, don't smoke, I'm not into partying or anything like that. But you? I'm very much into you. I wouldn't give you up for anything."
"Well, in that case, we'd better make sure you get your fix, Mr. Dorsey. I wouldn't want you to go into withdrawal."
"No, we wouldn't want that. it'd be bad."
"What are the symptoms of withdrawal, just so I know what to look for?"
"Well, I tend to get cranky, that's the firs thing. I get really horny, and it's hard for me to concentrate."
"I see. And what's the best method of giving you a fix?"
"I'm not particular."
"So if you touched me, right here in this parking lot, that would help you? — Jasinda Wilder

I love you too, and I don't want anybody else either." Cupping his cheek, she added, "You're enough for me."
That seemed to make sense to Griffin, and he finally smiled like he was happy.
"You're enough for me too."
Grabbing his hand, Anna started backing toward her room. "Good, then come be enough for me right now. I'm horny as hell."
Griffin rushed up to her, grabbing her backside. "God, me too," he murmured
before their mouths met. — S.C. Stephens

Love is what still goes on when you're not horny. — Robert A. Heinlein

How're the cats?" he asked, smiling a little. He did miss Angel Marie. Hell, he missed them all.
"Feral," Benny sniffed. "And horny. Every time one of us walks in, they all start humping our shoes."
"They're fixed," Shane mumbled, but the conversation was oddly reassuring. It sounded normal, and like home.
"Tell that to the big fuzzy brown one ... ."
"Orlando Bloom?"
"Yeah, whatever. Last time I was there that damned animal violated my knitting."
Shane lost a battle with a laugh and then whined because it hurt his ribs.
"Violated?"
[ ... ]
"Let's just say that wool is no longer virgin," she quipped dryly, and Shane's chest shook. — Amy Lane

Gone are the days when women were attracted by a man's hansomeness. Today, we are talking about cash, and your compromise to become a tiger in bed. — Michael Bassey Johnson

When men have money and power they get turned on, sexually. They get horny as hell. Can't imagine why, though. — Penelope Spheeris

I promised in my head to leave you be. And when I saw you ... I was supposed to be man enough to turn you away. Fuck, I'm not a horny teenager. It's just you." He finally did stand. "You break me. You break everything I think I stand for. — Debra Anastasia

Must be nice," I said, caressing the stick as if it might be my buddy and help me win.
"Money makes life all kinds of nice. Oh, and the way you're fondling the stick is making me super horny here. I also suspect you're doing that on purpose. Now, who's cheating?"
Glancing back at him, I grinned. "You're in a constant state of heat. I'm not taking the blame for that."
Throwing his head back, Cooper laughed. "Fair enough. — Bijou Hunter

Oh, I see. You're horny."
Kent cleared his throat. "I believe we've had more than one discussion about that adjective."
"Right," Cali corrected, frowning as she peered at the cellulite on the top of the back of her thighs. "You're not horny. You're lascivious. — Zannie Adams

That's the problem with college kids. I blame Hollywood for skewing their perspective. Life is just a big romantic comedy to them, and if you meet cute, happily-ever-after is a foregone conclusion. So there we were, the pretty blond girl milking her very slight congenital limp in order to seem damaged and more interesting, and the nervous boy with the ridiculous hair trying so hard to be clever, the two of us hypnotized by the syncopated rhythms of our furiously beating hearts and throbbing loins. That stupid, desperate, horny kid I was, standing obliviously on the fault line of embryonic love, when really, what he should have been doing was running for his life. — Jonathan Tropper

As if he could read her mind, Chad chose that very moment to look up from his What to Expect book.
"Says here some women get really horny when they're pregnant," he said, waggling his eyebrows with a shit-eating grin.
"It does not!" Jennie said, feeling two hot spots form on her cheeks.
How does he know?
"Does too. They don't phrase it that way, but that's essentially it. Anything you need help with, Jennie? Any cravings I can take care of for you?" Chad laughed as he leaned in suggestively.
"Gah! — Lori Ryan

The human spirit is amazingly resilient, and the human body is surprisingly horny. — Kerry Lonsdale

There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

His blood rushed through his veins like lava as his cock turned rock hard. "Get a hold of yourself. You're not some horny teen chasing after the first girl who smiled at you."
True, but there was something about this woman. Something that put a slow burn in his blood.
Yeah, she wants to beat your ass, you masochistic bastard.
-Syn — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Lady," we always call each other, partly a joke, partly in earnest, using still the old word, in its full flavor a kind of exorcism against "saleslady," "old lady," "ladylike." Relishing the anachronism, even the formality a type of aphrodisiac, a contrast to our delight in the horny, the vulgar, the vernacular which we cultivate just as ardently. — Kate Millett

The next time I open my eyes, I'm on the floor, on my back, staring at the water-stained ceiling of The Horny Goat. And . . . I think there's gum up there. What kind of demented bastard puts chewing gum on the ceiling? Has to be a health hazard. — Emma Chase

This ring tells the world you're mine and no one else's," Sed said, then he slipped the ring onto Jessica's finger.
"This ring tells horny bitches that you're off-limits," she countered. — Olivia Cunning

What can I say? Watching you play rugby makes me horny."

His fingers lightly stroked her back. "In that case, I'll get you a season pass. — Amy Andrews

Hey, yourself." I beamed at the cheerleading squad's captain and then leaned down to whisper to La La. "What's her name again?"
"Jackie." La La slung her jean satchel on her right shoulder and exhaled noisily. "I can't wait until you get out of your Shapeshifter horny phase."
"The proper name is Season." I drank in Jackie's image as she jumped around, doing a cheer. Those round melons bounced with each movement. "And it usually takes Shifters seven to ten years to mature out of it, so buckle up and enjoy the ride."
La La snorted. — Kenya Wright

I was so horny in school it felt like my body was filled with electricity. I felt like I had neon bones or something. — Patti Smith

I won't even try to pretend to know what bugs think about during sex, but right about the time the male praying mantis is probably thinking that he's quite the stud, the female does something pretty surprising. Yes, even for horny, bat-shit-crazy, homicidal copulating bugs. Once she has had enough of copulating, she moves on to the next phase, which is masticating. No, not masturbating ... masticating. This is a fancy-schmancy word for chewing. She chews his head off. And no, I don't mean like, "Why didn't you bring me flowers and chocolate?" Oh, no. She literally bites his head off ... and here's where it gets really interesting: She eats it. — Michael Makai

Men, they have the two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, you fix him the burrito. - Rosita Rivera, who was well acquainted with politicians and men — Lois Greiman

Rise and shine, you horny little humpers! — Harper Sloan

Shock and desire have my nerves tingling like I've been struck by horny lightning. — Nicole Christie

I am mad again, he thought. Tears brimmed. He swallowed in a tightened throat. I don't want to be. I'm tired, I'm tired and horny, I'm so tired I can't make sense out of any of it and my mind won't work right half the time I try. I'm thirsty. My head's all filled with kapok coffee wouldn't clear. Still, I wish I had some. Where am I going, what am I doing, stumbling in this smoking graveyard? It's not the pain; only that the pain keeps going on. He tried to let all his muscles go and stepped aimlessly from sidewalk to gutter, his mouth dryer and dryer and dryer. Well, he thought, if it hurts, it hurts. It's only pain. — Samuel R. Delany

Eat only when you are hungry. Drink only when you're thirsty. Sleep only when you're tired. Screw only when you're horny. — Al Neuharth

And now she was just Gabby, currently staying in a dreamy, magnificent castle in Scotland with a Fae prince who did all kinds of non-nasty, non-inhuman things like tearing up lists of names, and returning tadpoles to lakes, and saving people's lives.
Not to mention kissing with all the otherwordly splendor of a horny angel. — Karen Marie Moning

Feel this," says Harold Bazin, and crouches and brings her hand to a curved wall which is completely studded with snails. Hundreds of them. Thousands.
"So many," she whispers.
"I don't know why. Maybe because they're safe from gulls? Here, feel this, I'll turn it over." Hundreds of tiny, squirming hydraulic feet beneath a horny, ridged top: a sea star. "Blue mussels here. And here's a dead stone crab, can you feel his claw? — Anthony Doerr

Outside, with the exception of the occasional horny bug sending out its booty call, — Kylie Scott

I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece. — Rodney Dangerfield

Another chunk of my childhood dreams had just run down the reality drain in the form of a horny unicorn, no less. — Allison Pang

What the hell is he, anyway? Latino? Asian? Mixed Caucasian? He looks like he's been photoshopped by a bunch of horny teenagers. — L.J. Shen

Sure. Although I should give you fair warning. I can't promise to be so gentlemanly again should you get horny at five a.m. tomorrow morning. — Amy Andrews

Right now, it didn't look good, the life. What doesn't kill you makes you horny. — Aleksandar Hemon

At the very least he should have to suffer somehow, right? I mean, months of being sick, being hormonal, being fat, being so desperately horny and then wanting to chop off Brandt's hand or his dick if either so much as touched me again. — Lorelei James

Don't be that way, Ric." She grabbed hold of Ric's T-shirt and pulled him over until his weight rested against her. She placed her hand against the back of his neck and lowered his head, placing it against her chest. Using her fingers, she eased around and found the swelling knot at the base of his skull and carefully placed the bag of ice there. "Doesn't that feel better?"
He grunted a little, his arms now wrapping around her waist, his face burrowing deep against her breast. After a moment, he settled and said, "Now it does."
Dee rolled her eyes in disgust. Honestly, wolves took any advantage they could get. At their core - they were all the same.
Horny, pathetic, and cute. — Shelly Laurenston

Any one of my many shrinks could tell you that I was looking for my father. Wasn't everyone? The explanation didn't quite content me. Not that it seemed wrong: it just seemed too simple. Perhaps the search was really a kind of ritual in which the process was more important than the end. Perhaps it was a kind of quest. Perhaps there was no man at all, but just a mirage conjured by our longing and emptiness. When you go to sleep hungry you dream of eating. When you go to sleep with a full bladder you dream of getting up to pee. When you go to sleep horny you dream of getting laid. Maybe the impossible man was nothing more than a specter made of our own yearning. Maybe he was like the fearless intruder, the phantom rapist women expect to find under their bed or in their closets. Or maybe he was really death, the last lover. — Erica Jong

A part of her, the female, horny part she generally tried to ignore, sat up and took notice when he smiled, the shameless hussy. — Lexi George

They really make sex into such a horrible thing and how terrible anything related to sex is, but isn't that why we're all here? We wouldn't be here at all if two people in our past hadn't been horny for each other, that's how it works. So we can't continue unless people keep being horny for each other, that's just the way it is. — Brad Warner

Jeremy's T-Shirts by book:
Hard As It Gets
"ROUTE 69"
"This guy loves BACON" with two hands with their thumbs pointing back at him
"Orgasm Donor" with a red cross
Big Johnson's Tattoo Parlor, "You're going to feel more than a Little Prick"
"I'm not Santa but you can still sit on my lap"

Hard As You Can
Log-holding beaver that says, "Are you looking at my wood?"
"I put the long in schlong"

Hard to Hold On To
"Blink if you're horny"

Hard to Come By
Hand pointing downward and the words, "May I suggest the sausage?"
Charlie (who starts borrowing Jeremy's t-shirts): A smiling fire extinguished that says, "I put out"
Charlie: Schnauzer wearing a saddle that says, "Weiner Rides, 25 cents"
"HEAD Foundation. Please give generously"
Charlie: Mr. T with the words "Mr. T Shirt"
There's a party in my pants. You're invited. — Laura Kaye