Hockey Humor Quotes & Sayings

I wondered how a man ever got an English girl into bed. What did they do with her hockey stick? — James A. Michener

The very gnarliest and hardest of hearts has some musical strings in it; but they are tuned differently in every one of us. — James Russell Lowell

She should have never agreed to this friendship. Because friendship wasn't the only thing she wanted.
She wanted to get naked with him. — Toni Aleo

Piper giggled. "Right! Man, that one guy, the one with no teeth, whoa! If he just kept his mouth shut the whole time, I could probably holler at him."
Audrey giggle as she shook her head. "Yeah, he is, but did you see Anderson? My God, Fallon was right, total eye candy. I could suck on him like a Blow Pop! — Toni Aleo

Phillip has enough to worry about. He doesn't have time to have his heart broken by my man-eating twin," Piper teased.
Reese faked a hurt look as she said, "Hey, I make sure they're satisfied before I feed! — Toni Aleo

It was in a grim room on Eddy Street that I finally opened 'A Moveable Feast.' I read it all overnight. I read it again the next day. — Daniel Woodrell

They ave a hockey team, Phillip," Claire said as she unlocked her door and pushed it open.
"That's good. Stay away from the players," he mumbled. Reese rolled her eyes as she followed them in.
"But I like hockey players," Claire pouted playfully.
"Yeah, well, unless you want them to die, stay away. Boys are off-limits. — Toni Aleo

Forty minutes later, my hatred for field hockey was in full bloom, courtesy of Nikki. Whoever thought it was a good idea to combine Tag with wooden golf clubs and a rodent-size ball should be beaten senseless. — K.R. Conway

I actually was a ballet dancer - I studied ballet from three until 13 - but like very seriously, that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a contemporary ballet dancer. I wanted to go to Juilliard. — Solange Knowles

Wen he pulled away e smiled as he said, "I'm on a mission to make you like hockey more than baseball."
"Unless you are wearing tight baseball pants, you aren't keeping my attention. — Toni Aleo

Arrive at the net with the puck and in ill humor. — Fred Shero

A photographer is a photographer and an artist is an artist. I don't believe in labels or titles. Why should a painter or sculptor who has probably never challenged the rules be an artist just because his title and an art school education automatically make him one. — Peter Lindbergh

How she poisoned her sisters so slyly and quietly that it took them days to die. How when it was over they looked so peaceful that had it not been for the froth on their lips, you would have thought they had died in their sleep. — Kendare Blake

Buck ambles out of the locker room with a towel draped across his bare shoulders and his hockey pants on, thank the Lord. The amount of fur he sports makes him resemble a matted yeti. — Helena Hunting

How often does it occur that information provided you on morning radio or television, or in the morning newspaper, causes you to alter your plans for the day, or to take some action you would not otherwise have taken, or provides insight into some problem you are required to solve? — Neil Postman

We were a minor league team that didn't feed into any majors, in a town that loved just about every sport but ours. We were going nowhere and we knew it, so why not have fun? In the forties, when I was playing, we were officially the most violent team in the country, and that means probably the whole world, and by the way, that's why I could skate with no toes. A figure skater, a speed skater, an NHL forward, sure, you need your toes for control, but all that finesse takes a backseat when all you're trying to do is slam somebody into a wall and break all his teeth. — Dan Wells

And all those things you listed right now, they're
things Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don't want me. You want me and
Garrett. — Elle Kennedy

I'm just a simple guy. I love beer, sex, and hockey. I hate liars, Sting, and art that doesn't have people in it. - Luke Almeida — Kate Meader

The English play hockey in any weather. Thunder, lightening, plague of locusts ... nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey, for the hockey will win. — Maureen Johnson

His outfit wasn't what she was looking at, though. It was his eyes. They were always so bright, and with his hair falling into them, she was finding it hard to form coherent thoughts. But the she noticed that he hadn't shaved.
For the love of God. — Toni Aleo

A corner of his mouth quirked up. "I play pool. Shoot hoops sometimes too. Any other sport you're curious about?"
"Hockey? Polo?"
"Simultaneously. Trick is to keep the horses on their skates. — Devon Monk

Audrey didn't understand Piper's obsession with Erik. Yes, he was insanely gorgeous, with dark hair and dark sexy eyes, but he gave off a dick vibe. Piper was such a sweet and funny girl, and Audrey really didn't think they would be good together. But apparently Erik Titov did it for Piper, and who was she to question it? She herself was in love with an ass-hat and lusting over a child. She was in no place to judge anyone on their lusty needs. — Toni Aleo

Nate had been born and raised in British Columbia, and Canadians hate, above all things, to offend. It was part of the national consciousness. "Be polite" was an unwritten, unspoken rule, but ingrained into the psyche of an entire country. (Of course, as with any rule, there were exceptions: parts of Quebec, where people maintained the "dismissive to the point of confrontation, with subsequent surrender" mind-set of the French; and hockey, in which any Canadian may, with impunity, slam, pummel, elbow, smack, punch, body-check, and beat the shit out of, with sticks, any other human being, punctuated by profanities, name-calling, questioning parentage, and accusations of bestiality, usually-coincidentally- in French.) — Christopher Moore

GOD DOESN'T HATE FAGS OR
ANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.
GOD SAVES! THEN, GOD PASSES IT
TO GRETZKY - WHO ROOFS THAT
SHIT, TOP-SHELF! THEN GOD AND
GRETZKY HIGH FIVE & BELLY-BUMP,
CELEBRATING THEIR HOCKEY
PROWESS. AND NEVER ONCE DO
THEY GIVE A SHIT IF ANYBODY'S
GAY OR NOT. — Kevin Smith

someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rants
and her calming presence and - hello, irony. — Elle Kennedy

Life is greater when I'm dealing with something than when I'm just dreaming away. — Lykke Li

Being lost is the way, how else can you be found? — Elizabeth Cunningham

Why are you so nervous?" Tate looked up to see Lucas giving him a dirty look. "This is easier that the regular season, we go out and have fun."
"No, you get to have fun, I need t be super ninja goalie against every great forward in the league. — Toni Aleo

Ah, there was her door. Reaching into her bra, she pulled out her room key. Tate chuckled behind her.
"That's been in your bra?"
She flashed him a grin. "Yeah, I have lipstick in there too, and my bank cards. — Toni Aleo

Trades are happening, and I have two players that if they don't get their crap together I'm going to castrate them."

He took in a sharp breath. "Don't castrate my teammates, sweetheart, it will affect how they play. — Toni Aleo

If some crazy idea stays in my head for long enough, then there's no fighting it. I just say, Okay, let's go. — Jeff Bridges

In London, there is no need for 25 high-end gastronomic restaurants. That would be too much. — Alain Ducasse

I am for hockey. I find I should like to hit something with a stick.
-Gemma Doyle Trilogy — Libba Bray

My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in. — Denis Leary

His eyes are a hazy swirl of
gray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm — Elle Kennedy

In February 1999, my wife, who is also a Rangers fan, gave birth to our first child. We named her Destiny and made sure that she was baptized in a Rangers jersey. At her baptism, my wife, myself, and my stepdaughter all wore our Rangers jerseys. Years later, as Destiny learned about hockey, she came to me and said, 'Daddy, I like the Penguins. They're cool!' I immediately called my lawyer friend, wanting to sue the doctor who delivered her. God does have a sense of humor." James Valenzano, Maricopa, Arizona Rangers fan since 1970 — Adam Raider

I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it — Elle Kennedy

Let's talk about the homoerotic undertones in sports," she said.
Paul thrust his head forward as if he hadn't heard right. "Excuse me? — Deirdre Martin