Hilarous Quotes & Sayings

And several bystanders - the innkeeper, assorted security personnel, probably a nurse or two, all terrified into competency by my grandfather's rage - stood — Tea Obreht

Finding hate-objects may be every bit as essential as finding love-objects, but if one can tolerate some of one's badness
meaning recognize it as yours
then one can take some fear out of the world. — Adam Phillips

Winning her would be like coaxing a butterfly to land on his hand. Patience, gentleness, and perhaps a prayer or two would be required. — Mary Jo Putney

There is a largeness about mathematics that transcends race and time; mathematics may humbly help in the market-place, but it also reaches to the stars. — Robert Turnbull

Congratulations on your well deserved retirement,
Wishing you every happiness in the years ahead.
No lying about your age, more lying around the house
After lying much longer in bed — John Walter Bratton

I don't think that you have to be effeminate to be sensitive. — Little Richard

I've always loved clothes. Like any normal woman, I would see a dress, buy it, rip the tags off with my teeth, save the buttons for ten to twelve years in a drawer, and wear it to work. — Mindy Kaling

I flicked a comb through my wet hair, for all the good it would do, and said, "How do I look?"
"Mostly human," she said.
"That's what I was going for. — Jim Butcher

I carry a secret sense of accomplishment around with me, like a radium pack implanted near my heart that now leaches a quiet sense of relief through my system. — Anne Lamott

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage. — Patton Oswalt

She was sad with an obscure sadness of which she had not the secret herself. There was in her whole person the stupor of a life ended but never commenced. — Victor Hugo

Not only is [a half marathon] a good test for the marathon, it is also good for those who feel they were just getting going in a 10K and are physically and mentally primed to go further. A half marathon is a good test of your endurance, without the physical punishment of going the full 26.2 miles. More so even than the 10K, it will teach you about patience, pacing, and how to negotiate a wider range of physical and emotional cycles. — Grete Waitz

Her heart was broken perhaps, but it was a small inexpensive organ of local manufacture. In a wider and grander way she felt things had been simplified. — Evelyn Waugh

A driver's license is an uneducated man's diploma. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

What are you doing here?"
"Coming to pick you up for tonight."
"I'm not going."
"Would it help if I lowered to my knees and said please?" He started to go down.
I hit his shoulder. "Stop that. You're embarrassing me."
He dragged his gaze over my body. "You look beautiful."
"Whatever." I wore black yoga pants and a shirt with Star War's Yoda flipping the bird on the front.
"I love the way your clothes hug your body."
"I love the way you continue to invade my privacy. — Kenya Wright

It's me, not you." She turned to him, urging him with her eyes to go along with her. "Everybody else thinks you're fabulous, so it has to be me, right? Nobody else seems to find you just a little bit . . . creepy."

He cocked an eyebrow.

Francesca swelled up in her chair. "Did you just call my son 'creepy'?"

Ted spooned up another bite of chocolate, interested in what else she'd come up with. He wasn't going to help at all. She wanted to kiss him, yell at him. Instead, she returned her attention to the women.

"Be honest." Her voice gained strength with the rightness of what she was doing. "You all know what I mean. The way the birds start to sing when he walks outside. That's creepy, right? And those halos that keep popping up around his head? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Come on, Ted. I'm not exactly the type to be a rich man's bimbo."
"That's true." A world of compassion softened his voice. "Bimbos are generally good-hearted women who are pleasant to be around."
"Spoken from experience, I'm sure. By the way, you may be God Almighty on the golf course, but you're a lousy dancer. Let me lead. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips