Hilariously Inappropriate Quotes & Sayings

I worked in the mechanical factories repairing cement trucks. The Cuban government wanted me to work in the university as a teacher in literature, but I declined because I wanted a more sense of the countryside. — Huey Newton

My dear boy, you are under a wrong impression. It is not a race, it is merely a means of getting crews to do long rows — Steve Fairbairn

My stain will never get fixed 'cause it's on the inside. And lasers can't reach there. — Matt De La Pena

Every man has a lurking wish to appear considerable in his native place. — Samuel Johnson

I was smiling yesterday,I am smiling today and I will smile tomorrow.Simply because life is too short to cry for anything. — Santosh Kalwar

An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. — Fred Allen

Science cannot resolve moral conflicts, but it can help to more accurately frame the debates about those conflicts. — Heinz R. Pagels

Remember: a clever woman never lets a man know how cleaver she is — Lesley Downer

What Can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Eperience of the Past Million Years?' nothing. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

I know. I know that I shall never again meet anything or anybody who will inspire me with passion. You know, it's quite a job starting to love somebody. You have to have energy, generosity, blindness. There is even a moment, in the very beginning, when you have to jump across a precipice: if you think about it you don't do it. I know I'll never jump again. — Jean-Paul Sartre

I don't care too much about talking, but I don't like being alone. — Ida Lokas

You're making a mistake, shithead, Avasarala said, and dropped the connection. — James S.A. Corey