Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes & Sayings

Poverty is hereditary just like power, stupidity, and haemorrhoids. — Fiston Mwanza Mujila

Nick and Simon had come to a natural end of their working relationship with Warren, which obviously opened the door for a reunion of the original five. — Roger Andrew Taylor

I feel so Scottish when I go abroad, and I'm so proud of it, but for me, it's not a political statement - I just happen to be Scottish. — Michelle Gomez

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is ... beastly. — Victoria Scott

Faced with a choice of stepping up or stepping it down, we are going to step it down. — Bill McDermott

If thou wilt fly from God, the devil will lend thee both spurs and a horse. — Thomas Adams

It was not his job at square leg to inform the batsman what I was doing. I did nothing for which I need to apologise. — Mike Gatting

Change is seen as something evil only by those who have lost their youth or sense of humor." That was Cookie Mueller on the East Village, 1985. The — Sari Botton

Love is something difficult and it is more difficult than other things because in other conflicts nature herself enjoins men to collect themselves, to take themselves firmly in the hand with all their strength, while in the heightening of love the impulse is to give oneself wholly away. — Rainer Maria Rilke

I don't love acting enough to give up my life. — Charlie Korsmo

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he's up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..."

"...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?"

"Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!? — Jonathan Dunne

I'm almost finished," said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.
"I never doubted you for a moment," said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. "I actually doubted him the whole time. He's really not very good."
Wilhelm turned. "I'm standing right in front of you. I can hear literally every sound you make."
"Wilhelm, please," said Vex, "this is a private conversation. — Derek Landy

I have a black belt in sarcasm, and my wit is like lightning. — N.R. Walker

Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler's heart, kill your darlings. — Stephen King

A big complicated mess is easy. Making something simple and clear is hard. — D.F. Lamont

I do not, in short, myself believe it is in the least bit undignified to confess to having been critically influenced in one's thinking by a teacher, or a faculty, or a book; but the accent these days is so strong on atomistic intellectual independence that to suggest such a thing is, as I have noted, highly inflammatory. — William F. Buckley Jr.

- Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious! — Bryanna Reid

Play every game as if it is your last one. — Guy Lafleur

Chappe also had all sorts of ambitious plans for his invention; he hadn't intended its use to be so predominantly military in nature, and wanted to promote its employment in business. — Tom Standage