Hilarious Rude Quotes & Sayings

...a great future behind him, already — Angela Carter

In my mind, I am free. — Stephen Hawking

The goal of spiritual life is not altered states, but altered traits — Huston Smith

Please, I'm a transgender former boy-bander. You think I don't know how to defend myself? — Libba Bray

Has anyone ever told you that you're unbearably rude?" she returned, facing him again.
"Why, yes. You have on several occasions, as I recall. If you care to apologize for that, however, I'll be happy to escort you wherever you wish to go."
A flush crept up her cheeks, coloring her delicate, ivory skin. "I will never apologize to you," she snapped. "And you may go straight to Hades."
He hadn't expected her to apologize, yet he couldn't help suggesting it every so often. "Very well. Upstairs, first door on the left. I'll be in Hades, if you should require my services. — Suzanne Enoch

There once was a man from Des Moines
Whose wife was always annoyed
He stepped in the kitchen
She started her bitchin'
Now that fucking cunt is dead. — Frances Winkler

Mr. Malone, who contrived to secure two glasses of wine, when his brethren contented themselves with one, waxed by degrees hilarious after his fashion; that is, he grew a little insolent, said rude things in a hectoring tone, and laughed clamorously at his own brilliancy. — Anonymous

Breezy, sophisticated, hilarious, rude and aching with sweetness: LOVE, NINA might be the most charming book I've ever read. — Maria Semple

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful- 1834 — William Morris