Hilarious One Liners And Quotes & Sayings

Are you in a suit?' I managed at last, my voice choking up. 'You didn't have to dress up for me.'
'Quiet, Sage,' he said. 'I'll make the hilarious one-liners during this daring rescue. — Richelle Mead

I am going to be announcing today that we will have a business delegation come to this country sometime in the future where we will bring businesses from America to Morocco to show them the vast business opportunities here. — Donald Evans

I'll find a day to massacre them all
And raze their faction and their family,
The cruel father and his traitorous sons,
To whom I sued for my dear son's life,
And make them know what 'tis to let a queen
Kneel in the streets and beg for grace in vain. — William Shakespeare

People lie. People disagree. People make mistakes. To find out the truth, you have to know how to search for it. — Ian Caldwell

Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners. — Arthur Smith

It is well known among physicians that the best of the nourishing foods is the one that the Moslem religion forbids, i.e., Wine. It contains much good and light nourishment. It is rapidly digested and helps to digest other foods. — Maimonides

What you take from the earth, you must give back. That's nature's way. — Chris D'Lacey

Satire is the disease of art. — Nicolas Chamfort

If you want to write fiction, the best thing you can do is take two aspirins, lie down in a dark room, and wait for the feeling to pass. — Lawrence Block

And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room. — Woody Allen

Night after night, I endured these grand affairs alone, revolted by what objets d'art we were and contemptuous of how hollow society had turned out to be, and yet inexplicably, I was filled with a yearning to be one of them. — Sue Monk Kidd

I think worrying is a lot like chewing gum. Eventually it runs out of taste, and you've got to spit it out. — Karen White

We are a mirror to show god it's cruelty. — Steve Aylett

To world enough and time. — Audrey Niffenegger

The magnificent houses, the three old-money brick houses, each with a small turret and a wraparound porch, had been built uptown near the churches when the town was younger and smaller, before the Great War. The wraparound porches were there to hold rainy-day children and morning tea carts and quiet late-evening converstion, cosy, discreet conversation which could not easily take place in front rooms or kitchens or bedrooms, certainly not on the street. — Bonnie Burnard

I was actually privately in the White House like invited by Clinton to screen Independence Day, so I know how the private residence looks. I didn't snap a picture, but I have a photographic memory and then I could take a guided tour in the West Wing. — Roland Emmerich

I was perfectly calm, I was the anchor of the world. — Per Petterson