Hilarious Laugh Out Loud Quotes & Sayings

For Oscar, high school was the equivalent of a medieval spectacle, like being put in the stocks and forced to endure the peltings and outrages of a mob of deranged half-wits, an experience from which he supposed he should have emerged a better person, but that's not really what happened - and if there were any lessons to be gleaned from the ordeal of those years he never quite figured out what they were. He walked into school every day like the fat lonely nerdy kid he was, and all he could think about was the day of his manumission, when he would at last be set free from its unending horror. Hey, Oscar, are there faggots on Mars? - Hey, Kazoo, catch this. The first time he heard the term moronic inferno he know exactly where it was located and who were its inhabitants. — Junot Diaz

A new world is not made simply by trying to forget the old. A new world is made with a new spirit, with new values. Our world may have begun that way, but today it is caricature. Our world is a world of things. What we dread most, in the face of the impending debacle, is that we shall be obliged to give up our gewgaws, our gadgets, all the little comforts that have made us so uncomfortable. We are not peaceful souls; we are smug, timid, queasy and quaky. — Henry Miller

To recognize that head injuries were as essential a part of football as they are of boxing would be to erase the fine distinction on which the game's respectability rested. — Charlie Pierce

Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM! — Rick Riordan

A fight forms a powerful and strange bond between men. — Matthew Polly

Tiny doesn't just sing these words - he belts them. it's like a parade coing out of his mouth. i have no doubt the words travel over lake michigan to most of canada and on to the north pole. the farmers of saskatchewan are crying. santa is turning to mrs. claus and saying 'what the fuck is that? - will grayson — David Levithan

Knowing what you're doing' largely involves pretending to know what you're doing. — David Mitchell

Don't let them see you weak. — Ann Aguirre

Pedantry in learning is like hypocrisy inn religion
a form of knowledge without the power of it. — Joseph Addison

I do greatly admire Australian artists. — Jeffrey Archer

I don't think sleeping with you is going to solve anything," she said, stopping at the guest bedroom door.
"I don't really care what you think. — Cindy Gerard

June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them. — Rick Riordan

Yet avarice is numbered among the sins, but stupidity omitted. — E. B. Farnum

Where his boyhood retreat had been a cave hewn for one, it now accommodated two. He was suddenly two and it amazed and delighted, causing a stir in the pit of him, a kind of fibrillation. — Emma Richler

Do you create anything, or just criticize others work and belittle their motivations? — Steve Jobs