Hilarious Drunk Quotes & Sayings

Stories took twists and turns down fairy-tale paths or down very human everyday ones. You think you're at the end of the book, and it's only the end of a chapter. — Deb Caletti

AMERICANISM, n. 1) The desire to purge America of all those qualities which make it a more or less tolerable place in which to live; 2) The ability to simultaneously kiss ass, follow your boss's orders, swallow a pay cut, piss in a bottle, cower in fear of job loss, and brag about your freedom. — Ambrose Bierce

Should men and women receive the same amount of wages for the same kind of work? — Barkham Burroughs

Quality, not quantity, is my measure. — Douglas William Jerrold

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. — Suzanne Fields

The streets looked small, of course. The streets that we have only seen as children always do I believe when we go back to them — Charles Dickens

The person who doesn't know how to subjugate will all too quickly feel the other's foot on the nape of his neck. — Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch

Expression is when you are at one with nothingness. — John Frusciante

You can only hide the sun for so long. — E.M. Markoff

Please don't drive drunk, okay? Seriously. It's so fucked up. But by all means, walk drunk. That looks hilarious. Everyone loves to watch someone act like they are trying to make it to safety during a hurricane. — Amy Poehler

We all got into it, cracking walnut shells with our shoes, pulling the sweet white meat from inside while a crowd of our Chinese hosts eyed us with bemused perplexity. "Americans," I imagined them saying, afterward. "The poor sons of bitches have everything in the world, but they've never tasted fresh walnuts. — Jennifer Egan

Dillon; somewhere in there is the guy I met four years ago. The decent one that wasn't always so fucking mad at the world. I get why you do the shit you do, but take it from someone who knows, it's not worth it. — Melyssa Winchester

Innovative technologies such as cold fusion, and radical energy sources, including sonoluminescent-triggered fusion and anti-gravitational propulsion, are either being withheld or blocked by governments, old-fashioned science academia and multinational corporations. — Takaaki Musha

Lying offshore, ready to act, the presence of ships and Marines sometimes means much more than just having air power or ship's fire, when it comes to deterring a crisis. And the ships and Marines may not have to do anything but lie offshore. It is hard to lie offshore with a C-141 or C-130 full of airborne troops. — Colin Powell

[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy

Are you there? If your mind is not there, you are not there! You are wherever your mind is wandering! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said
— David Nicholls

Moments when the original 'poet' in each of us created the outside world for us, by finding the familiar in the unfamiliar, are perhaps forgotten by most people; or else they are guarded in some secret place of memory because they were too much like visitations by the gods to be mixed with everyday thinking. — Marion Milner