Henny Youngman Marriage Quotes & Sayings

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. — Henny Youngman

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse. — Henny Youngman

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. — Henny Youngman

A mistake would have been fatal."
-Sherlock Holmes- — Arthur Conan Doyle

Talent is a gift from God. That is something that you are born with. To be able to be born with singing talent is just a gift. You can learn how to sing better, but you cannot learn to sing with certain quality. It is just something you are born with. — Sharon Osbourne

In order to be great, you just have to care. You have to care about your world, community, and equality. — Katori Hall

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. — Henny Youngman

I think that for the next short period of time, our No. 1 priority is Congress needs to do its work and extend the payroll tax cut. — Jacob Lew

We're strangers, we're not friends. I hate this, and I hate them.And I found out that you're angry, and you're sorry you ever met me — Tegan Quin

It's a great wake-up call for our entire industry: What movies are we making? What storytellers are we allowing to tell the stories? What people are we allowing to be cast in those stories? I think we need newer stories, and more people given the opportunity to do anything they want. — John Krasinski

My dad got a job in a factory in Philadelphia, so I was raised in Germantown in a sort of a barracks for soldiers. They had housing for temporary housing. And then my parents saved money and bought a little house in South Jersey, built on a swamp. — Patti Smith

Lord Carradice managed to look wicked, smug, and saintly, all at the same time. — Anne Gracie

The attempted professionalization of serious and systematic thinking has had a disastrous effect upon our culture — Alasdair MacIntyre

No one ever drowned in sweat. — U.S. Marine Corps

I guess, like some guy once said, if triangles invented a god, the chances are high it would have three sides. — Michael Marshall Smith

Bunny Slippers watched my appraisal for at least a full
minute before clasping his hands and resting them on the table.
"You stand in the doorway, clothes sticking to you like you just
got out of the shower and didn't dry off." I hadn't dried off
actually. "Your hair is wet like it's been raining, but it's near
ninety outside. You glare at me for a good ten minutes before
you come over. Sit across from me in my booth, without an
invitation. Don't introduce yourself. Don't say hello. You
announce you're not gay, but that I made you gay, and I am
confusing you?
Well, when he said it like that. — Dani Alexander

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. — Henny Youngman

This was why trusting boys was just like drinking and driving. Sure, some people too the risk. One or two beers never feels dangerous at the time. And now everyone who drives and drinks gets into an accident. — Siobhan Vivian

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. — Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. — Henny Youngman

If I had a Volkswagon Beetle. I'd paint the front to resemble Glenn Langdon in War Of The Colossal Beast. Why? Two words: The Ladies. — Dana Gould

Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying. — Henny Youngman