Handlebar J Quotes & Sayings

Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised.
The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature - with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each shin Dennis Healey eyebrows face a graveyard of dead skin cells spots erupting long curly fingernails like Struwelpeter blind as bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses flabby body flobbering around. Ugh ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence? — Helen Fielding

There are plenty of people who like you just as you are. You should remember that when you start feeling like you're being erased. — Heather Cocks

That's the trouble with living things. Don't last very long. Kittens one day, old cats the next. And then just memories. And the memories fade and blend and smudge together. — Neil Gaiman

I'm a lot of things, but today I'm your fucking saving grace. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

When I was cast for 'Walking Dead,' I was still doing 'Lone Ranger,' so I have my 'Lone Ranger' look with the handlebar mustache. I think everybody appreciates the professional mustache. — Lew Temple

Those who think that metaphysics is just misunderstood grammar will react to my giving metaphysics some place or another in the system of knowledge. — Gonzalo Rodriguez-Pereyra

Back in the 1930s, when men with handlebar moustaches played football in long johns and tails, and the ball was a spherical clod of bitumen, did fans weep in the stands when their team lost? No. They limited their responses to a muttered 'blast' or a muted 'hurrah' before going home to smoke a pipe and lean on the mantelpiece. — Charlie Brooker

Consider the trivial but revealing hallmarks of urban hipsterdom: faux vintage photography, the handlebar mustache, and vinyl record players all hark back to an earlier time when people were still optimistic about the future. If everything worth doing has already been done, you may as well feign an allergy to achievement and become a barista. — Peter Thiel

I'm not a good hipster - if I let my moustache grow for weeks, it just looks like I have dirt on my face. I'll never have a glorious handlebar moustache. — Win Butler

If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache. — Marc Maron

Yesterday in the restaurant, she'd seen his sex appeal and roughness. At her house, she'd seen his danger. This morning, at the river, she'd seen his beauty and teasing, and again that danger.
Of all of them, the tenderness she saw now was the most compelling. And terrifying. — Barbara Samuel

He sips his drink and it leaves his handlebar mustache dripping like a cattle dog come outta a river. — Erin Bowman

Aside from that, however, Rigg didn't mind being ugly. In fact, she liked herself and just pretended that she didn't when she was around other women. For there was nothing so criminal as a woman liking herself. — Ash Gray

There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache. — Hannibal Buress

When I get angry I tend to raise my voice - with a forklift. Hang on to my handlebar mustache if you want me to peddle faster. — Jarod Kintz

I want to buy a sports car, because I like riding bicycles. Hold on to my handlebar mustache if you value your life. — Jarod Kintz

I think there is nothing sexier than a handlebar moustache. — Isla Fisher

People have their complexities. They have their heroic moments and their villainous moments, too. — Ryan Reynolds

Disguised in a handlebar mustache with a ten gallon hat hanging low against his brow, Loki moseyed into Odin's party, despite the fact that he wasn't invited. Being dressed like Juan Valdez in a room full of people dawning Viking braids and pointy horned hats, however, tended to call attention to oneself. Odin's wife, Frigg, noticed Loki the moment that he stepped through the door, "What the Hel are you doing here? You weren't invited. — Dylan Callens