Hampir Celaka Quotes & Sayings

How do god fit him ass in them jeans when he is, in fact, Everywhere — Patricia Lockwood

The nightmare spirit of control has always been, and is, profoundly stupid. — Bryant H. McGill

You do things and do things and nobody really has a clue. — John Updike

Mechanical watches partake of what my friend John Clute calls the Tamagotchi Gesture. They're pointless in a peculiarly needful way; they're comforting precisely because they require tending. — William Gibson

You can only be lucky if you have a place to record. — Edwin Starr

The poop became a poop mountain; the pee became a pee ocean. And then somehow a Poop and Pee Airline was invented to fly travelers to Poop Mountain and Pee Ocean, although the code name for the airline was Dolphin Airlines, to keep the unsuspecting from being tipped off. — Lauren Myracle

Carey's had though times as well, so between the two of us, it's perfect — Pink

The Grecian ladies counted their age from their marriage, not their birth. — Homer

Intelligence nowadays is all about application: it is the ability 'to take in a complex system and learn its rules on the fly'. For young people, this ability is second nature. Any fool knows that, if you need a new and unfamiliar VCR programmed in a hurry, you commandeer any small passing child to do it. — Lynne Truss

Is the phrase "Deliciously politically incorrect" used with the same gay abandon in the U.S.? You come across it all the time here, and it usually means, quite simply, that a book or a movie or a TV program is racist and/or sexist and/or homophobic; there is a certain kind of cultural commentator who mysteriously associates these prejudices with a Golden Age during which we were allowed to do a lot of things that we are not allowed to do now. (The truth is that there's no one stopping them from doing anything. What they really object to is being recognized as the antisocial pigs that they really are.) — Nick Hornby

Karaoke is the great equalizer. — Aisha Tyler

There are two kinds of friendship: one is genuine affection, the other is inability to refuse. — Umberto Eco

A man calls a lawyer's office. The phone is answered, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz. The man says, Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. I'm sorry, he's on vacation. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's on a big case, not available for a week. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's playing golf today. Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. Speaking. — Henny Youngman