Gwerder Accordion Quotes & Sayings

Well, the man who first translated the bible into English was burned at the stake, and they've been at it ever since. Must be all that adultery, murder and incest. But not to worry. It's back on the shelves. — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Knock, knock.
who's there?
it's cancer.
cancer who?
cancer of the section right behind your belly button that you have been trying to pass off as the pinch of ovulation. but it's not. it's cancer. it's me. — Laurie Notaro

I was more than willing to put aside the Charley Davidson Book of Etiquette and Mud Wrestling if it resulted in earth-shattering orgasms. — Darynda Jones

Who are you when you're alone? When no one is watching? What's left then? — Rae Mariz

[I hear phone sex can work], I sent, [but I kind of doubt text-sex would.]
He sent me a picture shot down his pants. I snickered and sent him a picture of my mouth.
[autehigixuhi&^%$], he sent back. Then, [yeah, phone sex not satisfying. Also I think I dick-dialed Kentucky.] — K.D. Sarge

The first time she'd lured her ex to a restaurant it had been all she could do to snap him out of the reverie he entered, only for him to emerge spouting nonsense about how she was a princess, a goddess, even a fucking mermaid one time he called her. — Ali Shaw

Traveling is not just seeing the new; it is also leaving behind. Not just opening doors; also closing them behind you, never to return. But the place you have left forever is always there for you to see whenever you shut your eyes. — Jan Myrdal

I'm afraid a boat so small would sink with the weight of all my sorrow. — Li Qingzhao