Groucho Marx Cigar Quotes & Sayings

Sharing the fun of fishing turns strangers into friends in a few hours. Whether you sit with native fishermen in their boat and fish with nets and lines or dive under the sea with them - they will lead you to the haunts of the specimens you desire and you could not find yourself in safer and more enjoyable company. — Eugenie Clark

It is impossible for authors to discover beauties in one another's works; they have eyes only for spots and blemishes. — Joseph Addison

We should take mothers in high seas and drown them there, they are as poisonous as lead in the air. — Philip K. Dick

A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded. — Groucho Marx

What's up with all these guys not realizing they're bisexual? Here's the clue, buddy, when you're around another dude and you get a hard-on, you might be bi. — Sophie Oak

I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character. — Andy Kindler

There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up! — Jay Leno

I just witnessed an event so mysterious that it shook my skepticism. — Michael Shermer

It only takes a Romeo for every girl to become a Juliet. — M.F. Moonzajer

I think I'm more curious than I used to be - curious about why people live like they do and how they make sense of their time... Do they see how the sun has made it like a champion around the world overnight, and that all day today we get another chance to be brave, to exercise our humanity with boldness and deft precision? — Dee Williams

A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar. — Groucho Marx

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. — Groucho Marx

Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar. — Groucho Marx

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. — Groucho Marx