Groening Matt Quotes & Sayings

One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor. — Matt Groening

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than parents have. — Matt Groening

I always say that 'Futurama' is real, and 'The Simpsons' is fiction. — Matt Groening

With 'Futurama,' I was just worried that somebody would beat us to it; it seemed so obvious that there should be an animated science fiction show set in the future. And one of the reasons why it's not, I learned, is that it's really, really difficult. — Matt Groening

Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it. — Matt Groening

Stop thinking about fun and have it
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

To alcohol! The cause of ... and solution to ... all of life's problems — Matt Groening

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all. — Matt Groening

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny. — Matt Groening

Did you hear something?"
"No."
"Did I hear something?"
" ... I don't know ... — Matt Groening

The thing about a cartoon is, you can do whatever you want. The tightrope that we are walking on 'The Simpsons' and 'Futurama' is 'How do you continue to surprise the audience, but make them good surprises?' Not every surprise is good, but you want to continue jolting people. — Matt Groening

For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin. — Matt Groening

I'll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. — Matt Groening

'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing. — Matt Groening

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. — Matt Groening

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls. — Matt Groening

I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case. — Matt Groening

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. — Matt Groening

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it? — Matt Groening

Me fail english? Thats unpossible. — Matt Groening

I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little figurine of Bart and asked: 'Do you know who this is?' And she said: 'Mickey Mouse.' — Matt Groening

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? — Matt Groening

I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a call from Jim Brooks, who was developing 'The Tracey Ullman Show' for the brand-new Fox network. He wanted me to come in and pitch an idea for doing little cartoons on that show. — Matt Groening

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes. — Matt Groening

On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task. — Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' is an especially collaborative show. — Matt Groening

I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level. — Matt Groening

I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again. — Matt Groening

Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked. — Matt Groening

Our solution on 'The Simpsons' is to do jokes that people who have an education, or some frame of reference, can get. And for the ones who don't, it doesn't matter, because we have Homer banging his head and saying, 'D'oh!' — Matt Groening

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt ... I can't compete with that stuff. — Matt Groening

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. — Matt Groening

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories. — Matt Groening

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! - Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder. — Matt Groening

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known ... then went crazy as a loon.
Lisa Simpson — Matt Groening

If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain. — Matt Groening

I may be biting off more than I can chew, but with 'The Simpsons' and with 'Futurama,' what I'm trying to do in the guise of light entertainment, if this is possible - is nudge people, jostle them a little, wake them up to some of the ways in which we're being manipulated and exploited. — Matt Groening

A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end. — Matt Groening

You just have to keep in mind that the important relationship is the relationship with the audience. That's what I try to do. Everything else is secondary. — Matt Groening

Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you've skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn't that much to say. — Matt Groening

We've been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so. — Matt Groening

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed? — Matt Groening

I've been deadline-driven for my whole grown-up life, and that hasn't gone away. It is nice to be able to reflect about the big picture, about what kind of stories you want to tell, and how to take advantage of success. — Matt Groening

The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore. — Matt Groening

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems. — Matt Groening

When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor. — Matt Groening

Charles Schultz is a really interesting case. He wrote that comic strip and drew it himself from beginning to end, and it's a work of genius. It's very simply drawn, but it has some really deep emotions that you don't expect in a silly-looking comic strip. — Matt Groening

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done. — Matt Groening

When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries. — Matt Groening

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

The next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask yourself this important question: "How long am I going to be dead?" With that perspective, you can now make a free, fearless choice to do just about any goddamned sneaky thing your devious little mind can think up. Go ahead. Have your fun. You're welcome. Go on. See you in hell. — Matt Groening

Sometimes people try to read into my strip and find out what my state of mind is. And I can say if I'm in a good mood, generally the comic strip starts out in a good mood, but the punchline is very negative and sour. — Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' was about children and married parents; 'Futurama' is about people in between; they're growing up and haven't settled down. Every other cartoon show seemed to be, you know, dumb dad, bratty kids. — Matt Groening

[Ned Flanders]: Well looks like someone's having a pre-rapture party.
[Homer Simpson]: No, Flanders. Its a meeting of gay witches for abortion, you wouldn't be interested. — Matt Groening

Keep your expectations tiny you'll go through life not so whiney. — Matt Groening

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody felt sorry for me. 'Oh, Matt's a cartoonist.' Then people further feeling sorry for me would ask me to draw Garfield. Because I'm a cartoonist, draw Snoopy or Garfield or something. — Matt Groening

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism! — Matt Groening

I want it to go on, but I want us to go out on top. — Matt Groening

Of course I've gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring and no one listens to you!
- Russ Cargill — Matt Groening

With 'Futurama,' I wanted to do unrequited love, and David Cohen agreed, and although our original plan was never to have Fry and Leela get together, we finally just said, 'You can only string the fans along so far.' — Matt Groening

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

I gave away 'Life in Hell' when it was a little 'zine, and sold it at record stores for $1, and I knew from the time that I first did it that I would continue to do it, because it was fun. — Matt Groening

I always thought that television was the way to go in my goal to invade pop culture because it got to towns in which there were no bookstores. That's how I used to think of it: How do I reach kids who not only don't read but probably have no access to much in the way of books? — Matt Groening

There's always room out there for the hand-drawn image. I personally like the imperfection of hand drawing as opposed to the slick look of computer animation. But you can do good stuff either way. The Pixar movies are amazing in what they do, but there's plenty of independent animators who are doing really amazing things as well. — Matt Groening

As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-shirt as Charlie Brown. 'Peanuts' was very important to me. — Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' basically - and 'Futurama' - are really smart shows. They're kind of disguised as these goofy animated sitcoms, but the references within the shows, if you're paying attention, are pretty smart and pretty sophisticated. — Matt Groening

I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain. — Matt Groening

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head. — Matt Groening

If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV. — Matt Groening

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing. — Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' obviously is a huge success, and Fox has nothing to do with its success, with its creative success, and as a result they don't really like the show. They don't like 'The Simpsons' at Fox. — Matt Groening

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.
Mr. Burns — Matt Groening

I think when 'The Simpsons' first came on, there was an uproar. People got used to it. They realized the show's really funny, it's got a heart, so I think it's pretty safe. — Matt Groening

Batman's a scientist. — Matt Groening

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. — Matt Groening

I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encouraged it. They read comic books, play Nintendo and watch way too much TV. — Matt Groening

Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight. — Matt Groening

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. — Matt Groening

Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else. — Matt Groening

Since I was there in the very beginning, I know the history of the characters. So, I make comments about the tone and sometimes remind the writers that we've done that before. — Matt Groening

A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things — Matt Groening

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. — Matt Groening

I have less to do with 'The Simpsons' every season, but I stick my nose in here and there. Basically, it's just trying to keep the characters consistent and making sure the show has a soul. — Matt Groening

Nihilism in American comedy came along way before 'The Simpsons.' There was a fairly nihilistic point of view to 'Saturday Night Live,' for instance, back in the beginning, and a lot of really dark comedy had a really anti-sentimental take on life. — Matt Groening

My standard comment is, 'If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.' — Matt Groening

I thought I was going to make crazy cartoons for the rest of my life. I didn't think I'd ever get paid for it, didn't think I drew well enough, but I knew it made me happy. — Matt Groening

Once he gave her a Rothko book - an interesting choice, since like Elliott, Rothko also attended Lincoln High School in Portland (as had poet Gary Snyder and Simpsons creator Matt Groening). The — William Todd Schultz

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?" — Matt Groening

With Charlie Brown, it was about loneliness and isolation. I always thought that the thing about Charlie Brown and those characters was the absence of the parents. Half the strip was about who wasn't there. The parents were never in the picture. — Matt Groening

Never! Never, Marge. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson? — Matt Groening

I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists. — Matt Groening

I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air. — Matt Groening

Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a devoted 'Simpsons' fan quoting their favorite line. — Matt Groening

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it. — Matt Groening

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. — Matt Groening

meantime, here is a list of degrees for five of the nerdiest writers: J. STEWART BURNS BS Mathematics, Harvard University MS Mathematics, UC Berkeley DAVID S. COHEN BS Physics, Harvard University MS Computer Science, UC Berkeley AL JEAN BS Mathematics, Harvard University KEN KEELER BS Applied Mathematics, Harvard University PhD Applied Mathematics, Harvard University JEFF WESTBROOK BS Physics, Harvard University PhD Computer Science, Princeton University — Simon Singh

Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good". All available evidence, however, points to the contrary. — Matt Groening