Grim Humor Quotes & Sayings

If only he had more humor, more life in him; that was what was needed here. Grim places needed lightening, not solemnity, — George R R Martin

Patch's mouth turned grim. "Actually, I don't like the sound of that."
"If it's any consolation, I can't stand Dante. Don't sweat this."
"My girlfriend wants to date another guy, no sweat."
"It's for appearances. Look on the bright side - "
Patch laughed, but the humor was lacking. "There's a bright side? — Becca Fitzpatrick

I'm not like her. I don't steal people."
Mr. Tibbalt watched her, saying nothing.
The silence made Victoria bristle. "Well, I don't. — Claire Legrand

She rests her hand on the ruffled costume beside her. "Just answer this one question. My brother never got over you. Did you ever get over him?"I swallow. "There are some people in life that you can't get over."
"Good." Calliope stands and gives me a grim smile. "But break Cricket's heart? I'll break your face. — Stephanie Perkins

This was insane. What was wrong with the world? Didn't they know that ghosts and supernatural powers where little girls helped their dads and uncles solve case didn't exist?
It was books. It was television shows and movies. They had desensitized the world.
Damn writers. — Darynda Jones

A poem is a piece of semiotic sport, in which the signifier has been momentarily released from its grim communicative labours and can disport itself disgracefully. Freed from a loveless marriage to a single meaning, it can play the field, wax promiscous, gambol outrageously with similar unattached signifiers. If the guardians of conventional morality knew what scandalous stuff they were inscribing on their tombstones, they would cease to do so immediately. — Terry Eagleton

I'm not hungry."
"Then at least let me get you some water."
"I'm fine, Karissa," I tell her. "Good as new."
"You're delusional."
"You mispronounced handsome."
She scoffs. "Not today. You look like shit."
"Whatever, so maybe you're still handsome, even when you look like you've been fucked by the grim reaper. — J.M. Darhower

It was like staring at a whitewashed wall, but without all the emotion — Joe Abercrombie

You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair! — Jeaniene Frost

Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesnt mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you. — Kezia Dugdale

Saturday, July 2, 2016
1:51 PM
One ancient retired Air Force nurse does nothing but scream 'Help!' for hours at a time from a second-story window. Since the Ennet House residents are drilled in a Boston-AA recovery program that places great emphasis on 'Asking For Help,' the retired shrieking Air Force nurse is the object of a certain grim amusement, sometimes. Not six weeks ago, a huge stolen HELP WANTED sign was found attached to #4's siding right below the retired shrieking nurse's window, and #4's director was less than amused, ... — David Foster Wallace

Did you say you were going into Tir Na Nog? Lemme guess - you met with our lovely queen, she threatened to turn you into lemurs or something ridiculous and then she told you to go complete some ludicrously impossible task for her. Am I right?" When we nodded, he shook his head. "I thought so. Well, you know what this means, don't you?"
"Yes." Keirran's eyes were hard as he faced Puck, his expression one of grim determination. "We have to find a way into Winter. — Julie Kagawa

I'm not a highly outgoing person. I'm pretty guarded when you first meet me. But being in a Speedo for my entire life growing up, because I was a swimmer, and being naked in front of people now, doesn't really bother me. — Anders Holm

There were dumplings on the train, sold by grim men and women with deep lines cut into their faces by years and worry and hunger and misery. This was the provinces, the outer territories, the mysterious China that had sent millions of girls and boys to Canton to earn their fortunes in the Pearl River Delta. Matthew knew all their strange accents, he spoke their strange Mandarin language, but he was Cantonese, and these were not his people.
Those were not his dumplings. — Cory Doctorow

When you become thoughtless, then you can see, feel Reality. — Nirmala Srivastava

Comedy is hard. In many ways, it's like singing: If you have perfect pitch, it's much easier. But you can still go a long way toward mastering the rudiments if you must trust your voice. Most of the mistakes I've seen people make in trying to write funny is that they don't trust their own senses of humor. They don't think they're funny, and they set out to write funny the way they've read other people being funny with a grim determination that pretty much precludes any chance that anybody is going to have fun. Relax, listen to your characters, exploit their fears and flaws, and mine their situations for places in which they can use their own brands of humor. — Jennifer Crusie

My uncle worked in emergency wards dealing with people who came in with terrible injuries. He talked about the sketch shows they would put on to lighten the atmosphere. You often find this sense of grim humor in hospitals. The injuries people are suffering are ghastly. You have to laugh at something or you'd otherwise cry. — Honeysuckle Weeks

A friend is long sought, hardly found, and with difficulty kept. — St. Jerome

Have you ever been approached by a grim-looking man, carrying a naked sword with a blade about ten miles long in his hand, in the middle of the night, beneath the stars on the shores of Lake Michigan? If you have, seek professional help. If you have not, then believe you me, it can scare the bejeezus out of you. — Jim Butcher

The woods grew increasingly dense as Wolf walked farther from the castle. A hoot from an owl just overhead made Aralorn-the-mouse cringe tighter against his neck. "Lots of nasties in these woods," she said in a mouselike voice devoid of all but a hint of humor.
"And I," announced Wolf in a grim voice that was designed to let Aralorn know that it was time to be serious, "am the nastiest of all."
"Are you really?" asked Aralorn in an interested sort of tone. "Oh, I just adore nasties."
Wolf stopped and looked at the mouse sitting innocently on his shoulder. Most people cowered under that look. Aralorn began, industriously, to clean her whiskers. When Wolf started to walk again, though, she said in a stage whisper, "I really do, you know. — Patricia Briggs

And when we take ourselves too seriously, we are grim about the brothers and sisters, especially the dissenting ones, and there will be no health in us and no healing humor. — Walter Brueggemann

Parents sometimes object to the amount of humor introduced into stories that are designed to teach moral or spiritual lessons. They seem to think that simple grim lecturing of children is the best way to achieve such goals. — Mike Berenstain

So if I asked you to wear my skirt and juggle my high heels, you would?" I joked.
I could only see Andrew's face in profile, but a grin overtook his earlier grim expression, and he laughed. "I draw the line at wearing women's clothing."
"Are you sure?" I whispered seductively, nibbling on his earlobe.
"That's cheating," he said, his breath hitching.
I kissed down his neck. "If all else fails, I'll never rule out using my womanly wiles."
"I refuse to be used as a pawn by my devious lover," he countered, grinning.
I abruptly pulled away from him. "Ah, well, it never hurts to try. — Laura Kreitzer

This column was an attempt to convey to British readers something of the flavor of high-school graduation, a ritual largely unknown across the Atlantic and one at odds with the basic organizing principle of English education: The continual assurances by commencement speakers that yours is the most awesome generation ever to walk the earth ring a little odd if you're a survivor of some grim Dotheboys Hall where the prevailing educational philosophy was to lower your self-esteem to undetectable levels by the end of the first week. — Mark Steyn

Your stepfather? I'd like to meet him."
Oh no ... why?
"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
Christian unlocks the door, his mouth in a grim line.
"Are you ashamed of me?"
"No!" It's my turn to sound exasperated. "Introduce you to my dad as what? 'This is the man who deflowered me and wants to start a BDSM relationship'. You're not wearing running shoes. — E.L. James

I'll put her in charge of the puppies. I've twelve this week that need tending. How does that suit you?
Leeli's mouth hung open. She tried to say something but instead crumpled to the floor. She had fainted with joy. — Andrew Peterson

He doesn't take anything seriously, and he has the work ethic of a ... a ... well, an indolent son of the privileged caste. I've worked my entire life, and I ... " "Take everything seriously?" Amaranthe suggested. Evrial crossed her arms. "Maybe. So, what? Life isn't a joke." "No, but it's easier to enjoy if you can find the humor in even the grim moments. Perhaps it'd be healthy for you to let someone bring a little levity into your life. — Lindsay Buroker

Life would be awfully grim and glum if I couldn't laugh at myself. — Liesl Shurtliff

I would hate to be taken seriously. Serious people are always so grim and uptight that they make me want to dance naked on the lawn playing a flute. — Robert Anton Wilson

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there's a hole nearby. — Nigerian Proverb

Marxism, communism, socialism - the ideologies - did not have the automatic answers to the problem of the relations between the lighter and darker races of mankind. They did not even have an answer to anti-Semitism. — Peter Abrahams

Laughter is the stubborn reward of grim times. — Edward McPherson

Carstairs looked grim. "I gave Mrs. Pollifax to Interpol like a gift and they give every evidence of having discarded her like a boring Christmas tie."
Bishop said soberly, "Well, you know she doesn't look like a gift at first glance, sir. She confuses people by looking the nice cozy grandmother type. — Dorothy Gilman

Now then Captain" He turned back to Grim "Your have questions, I answers, shall we see if they match?"
"Please" Grim said "I appear to be your guest, have I you to thank for caring for me?" Ferrus' shoulders sagged in evident disappointment "Oh ... apparently they do not match ... I was going to say strawberries! — Jim Butcher

Tied up a lot of women, have you?" He raised one eyebrow, whatever that meant. "A bit odd, are you?" She was being sarcastic, trying to taunt him into a sense of guilt. While perhaps bursting any bubble in herself of misguided, soft-hearted concern for a man with sad eyes and complicated wealth. Though his sexual inclinations were perhaps not the wisest of barbs to do either. He looked down at her, speculative.
"Difficult to say." He actually answered the question seriously. "Legally? Decidedly. But then British laws on the subject are so guilt-ridden I'm surprised we've propagated as a race." He mad a small, grim smile. "How delightful we're having this conversation. And what is it you like? — Judith Ivory