Quotes & Sayings About Greeting Cards

I found religion in the greeting card aisle now i know hallmark was right — Ani DiFranco

She didn't drink wine, and even if she did, I didn't know if red or white was appropriate for telling a woman that you want to kill her former lover. Do they have greeting cards for that sort of thing? — Elliott James

I'm interested in humor, and greeting cards just happen to be a perfect medium for my message. They're accessible to everyone, and thanks to all the advances that have been made by environmentally conscientious printers, I can get my message across while keeping my carbon footprint relatively small. — Anne Taintor

You're too much of a bitch to go gently into that good night."
"You should put that on a greeting card. — SE Zbasnik

Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy. — Anthony Jeselnik

Greeting cards routinely tell us that everybody deserves love. No. Everybody deserves clean water. Not everybody deserves love all of the time. — Zadie Smith

Whether it's watching a $4,000 laptop fall off the conveyor belt at airport security, contending with a software conflict that corrupted your file management system, or begging your family to stop opening those virus-carrying 'greeting cards' attached to emails, all computer owners are highly leveraged and highly vulnerable technology investors. — Douglas Rushkoff

Sending greeting cards to aliens is hardly a new idea. In 2005, Craigslist solicited messages for broadcast to space by a transmitter in Florida, and in 2008, NASA beamed a Beatles song to the North Star (Polaris), on the assumption that any putative Polarians would appreciate the Fab Four's 1960s-genre compositions. — Seth Shostak

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. — P. J. O'Rourke

Love is a hollow word which seems at home in song lyrics and greeting cards, until you fall in love and discover it's disconcerting power. Depression means nothing more than the blues, commercially packaged angst, a hole in the ground; until you find it's black weight settled inside your mother's chest, disrupting her breathing, leaching her days, and yours, of colour and the nights of rest. — Jerry Pinto

I love you , Valentine' is actually a popular phrase used in greeting cards."
If you were sending me one, what would it say?" he asks.
I love you, too, Roman."
And there it is, words that I dread to say and do mean, because with them comes the responsibility of owning it, moving forward together and deciding for real who we are to each other. Now we're not just lovers discovering what we like and sharing what we know. In this mutual declaration, we're accountable to each other. We're in love, and now, our relationship has to build slowly and beautifully in order to hold all the joy and misery that lies ahead. — Adriana Trigiani

I squirrel away sealed greeting cards that people give me so I can open them later when I'm having a bad day. — Emily Procter

There's all kinds of love in the world, and not all of it looks like the stuff in greeting cards. — Jennifer Weiner

History chews up sexually uncertain boys, and spits us out as recycled, generic greeting cards for lonely old men. — Andrew Smith

If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon — Dave Barry

Let me say something about that word: miracle. For too long it's been used to characterize things or events that, though pleasant, are entirely normal. Peeping chicks at Easter time, spring generally, a clear sunrise after an overcast week
a miracle, people say, as if they've been educated from greeting cards. — Leif Enger

Some days I do appreciate things more, eggs, flowers, but then I decide I'm only having an attack of sentimentality, my brain going pastel Technicolor, like a beautiful-sunset greeting cards they used to make so many of in California. High-gloss hearts.
The danger is grayout. — Margaret Atwood

To say that George Lucas cannot write a love scene is an understatement; greeting cards have expressed more passion. — Roger Ebert

Zara, sympathy is just a good excuse to buy greeting cards and make sorry eyes and secretly gloat over how glad you are that you aren't the person whose crap is hanging out for everyone to see. — Carrie Jones

It's a funny thing about the modern world. You hear girls in the toilets of clubs saying, "Yeah, he fucked off and left me. He didn't love me. He just couldn't deal with love. He was too fucked up to know how to love me." Now, how did that happen? What was it about this unlovable century that convinced us we were, despite everything, eminently lovable as a people, as a species? What made us think that anyone who fails to love us is damaged, lacking, malfunctioning in some way? And particularly if they replace us with a god, or a weeping madonna, or the face of Christ in a ciabatta roll
then we call them crazy. Deluded. Regressive. We are so convinced of the goodness of ourselves, and the goodness of our love, we cannot bear to believe that there might be something more worthy of love than us, more worthy of worship. Greeting cards routinely tell us everybody deserves love. No. Everybody deserves clean water. Not everybody deserves love all the time. — Zadie Smith

I hear they make greeting cards now
to thank your therapist ... for NOTHING — Casey Renee Kiser

She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn't make any that said Thank you for giving up your life so that me and my friends could escape! It was SO appreciated. XOXO! — Gina Damico

The marketplace for books when I entered the business shortly after World War II consisted of a thousand or so well stocked independent booksellers in major towns and cities supplemented by thousands of smaller shops that carried limited stocks of mostly current titles along with greeting cards, toys and so on. — Jason Epstein

It was a silly idea. Homemade brownies for the bouncer who'd pulled Eric off of me? It was all I could think of to thank him, because I was pretty sure Hallmark didn't have a 'thanks for saving me from sexual assault' section of greeting cards. - Viv — Brenda Rothert

Only in cartoons and fairy tales and greeting cards do endings have glitter — Holly Goldberg Sloan

Romance isn't about proving to someone you love them with flowers and greeting cards and chocolate. Or even a lock on a fence. It's a daily reminder. It's saying, I choose you. Today and every day. — Kristen Proby

For Dad, the perfect Father's Day would be one in which he didn't even realize that it was Father's Day, because nobody was making him appreciate gifts he didn't want, or read greeting cards filled with lame Father's Day poetry. — Dave Barry

Some young man has wronged you, hasn't he?' From a person who renounced on principle the possibility of transcendental morality, she thought, it was an interesting choice of words.

'None of them's stuck around long enough to wrong me, Bruno.'

He waved a hand dismissively. 'Romance is a fiction anyway. A myth to sell greeting cards.' Still, he seemed ready, given a name and address, to go challenge the malefactor, like some feudal-era father defending his daughter's chastity. This was all in the eyes, of course. The rest of the face stayed perfectly composed. — Garth Risk Hallberg

Nick leans down and kisses my eyelids. "Loving you, Zara, is a full-time job. It's a great job, don't get me wrong. It's the best job in the universe. But it is not easy, because you tend to . . ."
"Get hurt?" Betty suggests. "Find trouble? Pass out? Break arms?"
"All of the above." Nick laughs.
My hand finds Nick's wrist and I grab onto its thickness. "You know, I'm the patient here. Where's the bedside manner? Where's the sympathy?"
"Zara, sympathy is just a good excuse to buy greeting cards and make sorry eyes and secretly gloat over how glad you are that you aren't the person whose crap is hanging out there for the world to see," Betty says. — Carrie Jones

I don't turn to greeting cards for wisdom and advice, but they are a fine reflection of the general drift of the culture. — Susan Orlean

I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes from a guy who has sold a million Opus greeting cards. — Berkeley Breathed

For instance, the cards that I wrote for the company's 'I'd Like to Declare My Confused and Ambiguous Fondness for You' line were all notorious failures, some of which were blamed as the single direct cause of several nasty divorces, and some of their purchasers had actually taken the effort to discover the identity of their anonymous author, sending me hate mail, dead fish, and poorly wrapped, oil-stained packages emitting ticking noises. — Dexter Palmer