Good Waiter Quotes & Sayings

The tiny waiter, who looks to be about ninety-seven years old, comes over and wheezes through what I assume are the specials. Szabolcs, his nametag says. I can't understand a word he says. He may be telling me that his great-great-grandchildren are in the kitchen being gnawed on by a pack of wolves. I nod and smile. "I'll have the chicken," I say. Szabolcs asks something that has a lot of sht and tsz and ejht sounds in it. "Sounds good," I tell him. This is how people end up eating cats, I believe. — Kristan Higgins

She said that life was too precious to cast away; that even the foulest and meanest expression of life was precious, full of grandeur and inestimable beauty, although we are often too blind to recognize it. — Christi Phillips

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato. — Jim Gaffigan

I was not a great bartender, but I did OK. I wasn't great at being efficient behind the bar, but I was pretty great at talking to people. I was a pretty good waiter. It was painstaking to get me to care about the clientele of some of these places I was working at. — Jack Falahee

A good setter is like a waiter. — Julio Velasco

The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter. — Nubar Gulbenkian

I sold my soul to the devil. I'm going to hell. I'm headed to hell. I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame. That Means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames. Satan'll be in to see me later to see if I'm interested in being partners. Devil worshippin', Satan music. — Eminem

I worked as a waiter when I was 15 and got a chance to appreciate good, simple food. There's nothing better than a boiled egg with toast. — Ewan McGregor

He reached over, took the second cookie, and offered it to Robbins. "Here," he said. "I saw you coveting it." Robbins stared at the cookie, then looked around. "I can't take that," he said. "Sure you can," Szilard said. "I'm not supposed to eat anything here," Robbins said. "So what?" Szilard said. "Screw 'em. It's a ridiculous tradition and you know it. So break it. Take the cookie." Robbins took the cookie and stared at it glumly. "Oh, good God," Szilard said. "Do I have to order you to eat the damn thing?" "It might help," Robbins said. "Fine," Szilard said. "Colonel, I'm giving you a direct order. Eat the fucking cookie." Robbins ate it. The waiter was scandalized. — John Scalzi

The two waiters inside the cafe knew that theo ld man was a little drunk, and while he was a good client they knew that if he became too drunk he would leave without paying, so they kept watch on him.
Last week he tried to commit suicide," one waiter said.
Why?"
He was in despair."
What about?"
Nothing."
How do you know it was nothing."
He has plenty of money. — Ernest Hemingway,

I got my first break and became a singing waiter at eighteen or nineteen. I couldn't make a living at it. I quit. Then I got married and sold aluminum siding. My wife had problems physically. It was not good. — Rodney Dangerfield

Rahul had been underwhelmed by the New Year's rituals of the rich. "Moronic," he had concluded. "Just people drinking and dancing and standing around acting stupid, like people here do every night."

"The hotel people get strange when they drink," he told his friends. "Last night at the end of the party, there was one hero-good-looking, stripes on his suit, expensive cloth. He was drunk, full tight, and he started stuffing bread into his pants pockets, jacket pockets. Then he put more rolls straight into his pants! Rolls fell on the floor and he was crawling under the table to get them. This one waiter was saying the guy must have been hungry, earlier- that whiskey brought back the memory. But when I get rich enough to be a guest at a big hotel, I'm not going to act like such a loser. — Katherine Boo

I won't be having any more kids, though. Four is enough. — Linda McCartney

Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian? — Djuna Barnes

Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp. — Charles Dickens

My indifference to money and my spendthrift ways are disgraceful. You have no idea how reckless I am; how often I practically throw money out of the window. I am always making good resolutions, but the next minute I forget and give the waiter eightpence. — Robert Schumann

The fact is that all the important political philosophers and scientists from the great Aristotle on, with the exception of those of the French Enlightenment and Mill, have sided with the powers that be. — Mario Bunge

It appears that the ground of being which underlies
and sustains us despite our various inadequate and
conflicting stories must be extremely tolerant, generous,
and forgiving. All things considered, it wouldn't hurt
if we were, too. — Alexei Panshin

I write books to change the world. Perhaps I can only change one little piece of that world. But if I can empower teachers and good citizens to give these children, who are the poorest of the poor, the same opportunity we give our own kids, then I'll feel my life has been worth it. — Jonathan Kozol

I definitely had fun being a waiter. I can't say for sure that I was a good waiter. I think that I made people have a good time. — John Krasinski

When I was a waiter I was fired twice from the same restaurant. I guess I was that good of an actor but that bad of a waiter. — Nathan Fillion

It is perfectly obvious that the whole world is going to hell. The only possible chance that it might not is that we do not attempt to prevent it from doing so. — J. Robert Oppenheimer

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter. — Don Herold

There were two gentleman seated by it talking in French;impossible to follow their rapid utterance, or comprehend much of the purport of what they said ... yet French, in the mouths of Frenchmen or Belgians ( ... ), was as music to my ears. One of these gentlemen presently discerned me to be an Englishman - no doubt from the fashion in which I addressed the waiter; for I would persist in speaking French in my execrable South-of-England style, though the man understood English. The gentleman, after looking towards me once or twice ,politely accosted me in very good English; I remember I wish to God that I could speak French as well; his fluency and correct pronunciation impressed me for the first time with a due notion of the cosmopolitan character of the capital I was in, it was my first experience of that skill in living languages I afterwards found to be so general in Brussels. — Charlotte Bronte

We left in pretty good time, and came after nightfall to Klausenburgh. Here I stopped for the night at the Hotel Royale. I had for dinner, or rather supper, a chicken done up some way with red pepper, which was very good but thirsty. (Mem. get recipe for Mina.) I asked the waiter, and he said it was called "paprika hendl," and that, as it was a national dish, I should be able to get it anywhere along the Carpathians. — Bram Stoker

Don't be what you're told to be. Follow your own path. Be your own person. Don't get held down by everyone else. — Danny Worsnop

Today at lunch the waiter told me that the soup of the day was "Beef and Human." And I was like, "What the shit?" He said he'd had some and it was "good but really heavy on the human." Victor was like, "That sounds great. I'll have a bowl of that," and I felt like I'd fallen into a Twilight Zone movie. But it turns out the waiter was saying "Beef and Cumin," which honestly sounds almost as gross. — Jenny Lawson

We even had dessert, which seemed to me to be pushing the distract-them-with-food ploy a little far, particularly since neither Deborah nor I was at all distracted. But it was quite good food, so it would have been barbaric of me to complain. Of course, Deborah had worked very hard her whole life to become barbaric, so when the waiter placed an enormous chocolate thing in front of Chutsky, who turned to Debs with two forks and said, "Well . . ." she took the opportunity to fling a spoon into the center of the table. — Jeff Lindsay

Dancing. Come on. You can do it. It's a lot like navigating through a laser grid. It requires rhythm.' He moved her hips to the beat of the distant music. 'And patience.' He spun her around slowly and back toward him. 'And it's only fun if you trust your partner.' The dip was so slow, so smooth that Kat didn't know it was happening until the world was already turned upside down and Hale's face was inches from her own.
Count me in, Kat.' He squeezed her tighter. 'You should always count me in. — Ally Carter

He claimed to be a Marxist, the only one of his claims I believed. He had that Marxist passion for oysters and good Sancerre, and that Marxist paralysis when the waiter brought the check. Already it's obvious how much the Communists got wrong, overbetting on human high-mindedness, lowballing human desire. — Francine Prose

Genuine love is between two people who know they are already complete. Genuine love is based on a new paradigm in which both partners are committed to the celebration of each other and their loved ones. — Gay Hendricks