Quotes & Sayings About Golf Balls

Follow through: The part of the swing that takes place after the ball has been hit, but before the club has been thrown. — Henry Beard

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. — Henny Youngman

There is no truth in the idea that the person who hits the most balls will become the best golfer. Golf is a bizarre sport. You can work for years on your game, without making any improvement in your score. — Fred Couples

Short putts are missed because it is not physically possible to make the little ball travel over uncertain ground for three or four feet with any degree of regularity. — Walter Hagen

I heard a delightful - and possibly apocryphal - story about what happened when the British introduced golf to India in the 1820s. Upon building the first golf course there, the Royal Calcutta, the British discovered a problem: Indigenous monkeys were intrigued by the little white balls and would swoop down out of the trees and onto the fairways, picking them up and carrying them off. This was a disruption, to say the least. In response, officials tried erecting fences to keep the monkeys out, but the monkeys climbed right over. They tried capturing and relocating the monkeys, but the monkeys kept coming back. They tried loud noises to scare them away. Nothing worked. In the end, they arrived at a solution: They added a new rule to the game - "Play the ball where the monkey drops it. — Ed Catmull

I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction. — Lee Trevino

It's considered good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. — Mark Twain

The hardest shot in golf is a mashie at 90 yards from the green, where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounces back into a sandtrap, hits a stone, bounces on the green and then rolls into the cup. That shot is so difficult I have made it only once. — Zeppo Marx

Got more dirt than ball. Here we go again. — Alan Shepard

My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off! — Bob Hope

Everyone wants to be known as a great striker of the ball for some reason. Nobody wants to be called a lucky, one-putting s.o.b. — Gary Player

Then I thought, with the same clubhead speed, the ball's going to go at least six times as far. There's absolutely no drag, so if you do happen to spin it, it won't slice or hook 'cause there's no atmosphere to make it turn. — Alan Shepard

You look out on the driving range and it looks like snow, but it isn't, it's covered in golf balls. — John Scott

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone. — Chi Chi Rodriguez

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom. — Henry Beard

When Tiger was 6 months old, he would sit in our garage, watching me hit balls into a net. He had been assimilating his golf swing. When he got out of the high chair, he had a golf swing. — Earl Woods

You get no points for style when it comes to putting. It's getting the ball to drop into the cup that counts. — Laurie Auchterlonie

As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun. — Tiger Woods

Through the ball we are all the same. We just have different ways of getting it there. — Charles Coody

He told me just to keep the ball low. — Chi Chi Rodriguez

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve. — Dan Jenkins

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150. — Bob Hope

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. — Bruce Lansky

My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body. — Greg Norman

For all the fun, don't forget: I always knew when to put my golf balls down and practice. — Ernie Els

Some golfers blast their ball from traps, With one adroit explosion, But others, out in ten perhaps, Depend upon erosion. — Richard Armour

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie. — Bob Hope

I could have rolled the ball up there against Musial, and he would have pulled out a golf club and hit it out. — Don Newcombe

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot. — Don Adams

Everything we play when we are growing up, is team related. In this game (of golf) you can find all the answers yourself. You don't need to throw the ball in the air and play catch with yourself. You get a bucket of balls and go out there with your clubs, and you hit and learn and you get better. And there's no top. — George Lopez

A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the first hole. Her husband was so distraught, he only played the front nine. — Jay Leno

Founded by President Truman at 12:01 A.M. on November 4, 1952, the NSA had been the most clandestine intelligence agency in the world for almost fifty years. The NSA's seven-page inception doctrine laid out a very concise agenda: to protect U.S. government communications and to intercept the communications of foreign powers.
The roof of the NSA's main operations building was littered with over five hundred antennas, including two large radomes that looked like enormous golf balls. The building itself was mammoth
over two million square feet, twice the size of CIA headquarters. Inside were eight million feet of telephone wire and eighty thousand square feet of permanently sealed windows. — Dan Brown

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing. — Tim Allen

As if we don't have enough volence on television. After her husband accidentally hit two spectators with golf balls during a celebrity golf tournament. — Barbara Bush

In golf, a player can step and mar the line of his adversary's putt. A player can also hit his adversary or his caddie intentionally with his ball and claim the hole - but it isn't usually done. — Charles Brown MacDonald

Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case. — Bobby Jones

Coretta Scott King was all about her pearl earrings. At one point, I'm wearing pearl earrings the size of golf balls. They're enormous! She was bold-she knew that she was the Jackie Kennedy of her community. — Carmen Ejogo

It's hard to believe a kid hitting golf balls in the cow pastures of New Mexico could have accomplished what I have accomplished. — Billy Casper

I've come to realize that I perform best when I'm letting my subconscious mind hit the ball and my conscious mind is otherwise occupied. — Al Geiberger

It is technology. They all changed to a harder golf ball, so they gave up spinning on the greens. They all changed to longer drivers, bigger heads with hotter faces and lighter shafts. The problem is, the harder you hit it, the more control you lose. — Tiger Woods

And the wind shall say: 'Here were decent Godless people:
Their only monument the asphalt road
And a thousand lost golf balls. — T. S. Eliot

Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls — Greg Gutfeld

You can't lose an old golf ball. — John A. Willis

You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it. — Sam Snead

Of this diversion the Scots are so fond, that, when the weather will permit, you may see a multitude of all ranks, from the senator of justice to the lowest tradesman, mingled together, in their shirts, and following the balls with utmost eagerness. — Tobias Smollett

I always like to see a person stand up to a golf ball as though he were perfectly at home in its presence. — Bobby Jones

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. — Henry Beard

Golf. Trying to knock a tiny ball into an even smaller hole with implements ill suited to the purpose. — Winston Churchill

If only I kept my eye on the ball, Looking downward as does the pro there, I might not see where it was going, at all, But there might be a chance it would go there. — Richard Armour

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. — Lee Trevino

I'm a great believer that if you don't get the ball to the hole, it won't go in. — Colin Montgomerie

Out here, it's just you and the ball. — Mike Weir

Golf is golf. You hit the ball, you go find it. Then you hit it again. — Lon Hinkle

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls. — Robert Benchley

If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? — Larry Nelson

I'm going to take a wild guess here and say the hard-on you've been sporting all afternoon is not on account of Mr. Nicholson continually bending over to pick up the golf balls, right?"
"For fuck's sake, Dad!" James cursed, looking horrified at his father, who just shrugged his shoulders at his son's shocked expression.
"Whaaat? Just making sure," he added, hardly hiding his amusement. — Elle Aycart

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners. — Henry Beard

Bagger Vance: Don't make no sense is all ... Man say he don't play no golf when he out here this shade of night hittin balls off in the dark where he can't even see 'em ...
Rannulph Junuh: Yep ... Well, I've done things that have made less sense ...
Bagger Vance: As we all have ... — Steven Pressfield

Business cards, of course, are not proof of anything. Anyone can go to a print shop and have cards made that say anything they like. The king of Denmark can order business cards that say he sells golf balls. Your dentist can order business cards that say she is your grandmother. In order to escape from the castle of an enemy of mine, I once had cards printed that said I was an admiral in the French navy. Just because something is typed - whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book - this does not mean it is true. — Lemony Snicket

You know, when I was a young boy I used to play baseball in my back yard or in the street with my brothers or the neighborhood kids. We used broken bats and plastic golf balls and played for hours and hours. — Robin Yount

I did not see the sense in chasing a little white ball around a field. — Calvin Coolidge

Golf never ceases to be a challenge, even when it really is just you and the ball out there and nobody else. — Arnold Palmer

THE NEXT DAY Reef, Cyprian, and Ratty were out on the Anarchists' golf course, during a round of Anarchists' Golf, a craze currently sweeping the civilized world, in which there was no fixed sequence - in fact, no fixed number - of holes, with distances flexible as well, some holes being only putter-distance apart, others uncounted hundreds of yards and requiring a map and compass to locate. Many players had been known to come there at night and dig new ones. Parties were likely to ask, "Do you mind if we don't play through?" then just go and whack balls at any time and in any direction they liked. Folks were constantly being beaned by approach shots barreling in from unexpected quarters. "This is kind of fun," Reef said, as an ancient brambled guttie went whizzing by, centimeters from his ear. — Thomas Pynchon

I didn't miss the putt. I made the putt. The ball missed the hole. — Peter Jacobsen

If he takes the option of dropping behind the point where the ball rests, keeping in line with the pin, his nearest drop is Honolulu. — Jimmy Demaret

I wouldn't have raced a horse. But you'll then throw back at me that Jesse Owens raced against a horse, and he's one of my heroes, so I'm not going to say it was a silly stunt. I know too much about horses. They're highly unreliable, and they've got brains the size of golf balls. — Sebastian Coe

Golf cannot be played in anger, or in any mood of emotiional excess. Half the golf balls struck by amateurs are hit if not in rage surely in bewilderment, or gloom, or in cynicism, or even hysterically - all of those emotional excesses must be contained by the professional. Which is why balance is one of the essential ingredients of golf. Professionals invariably trudge phlegmatically around the course - whatever emotions are seething within - with the grim yet placid and bored look of cowpokes, slack-bodied in their saddles, who have been tending the same herd for two months. — George Plimpton

But you don't have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do. — Sam Snead

Fairway: a narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough. — Henry Beard

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about. — Bob Hope

Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls. — Bob Hope

You hear stories about me beating my brains out practising, but the truth is, I was enjoying myself. I couldn't wait to get up in the morning, so I could hit balls. When I'm hitting the ball where I want, hard and crisply, it's a joy that very few people experience. — Ben Hogan

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing. — Dave Barry

I've lost balls in every hazard and on every course I've tried. But when I lose a ball in the ball washer, it's time to take stock. — Milt Gross

I didn't hit the ball like I was 46. But I putted like I was 66. — Fred Couples

It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg. — J. C. Snead

In Valdosta, Ga., during a mini-tour event, a player named James Black bet me $20 he could put five golf balls in his mouth and then close his mouth all the way. I tried it but could get only two in there. — Gary McCord

She says Ariel is going to interview me after she's done and he's going to ask me how many golf balls can fit into a stretch limo, and the right answer is to make reasonable estimates on the spot, maybe say, "It's probably like 100 golf balls high by 60 golf balls wide by 1,000 golf balls long," and to look like I'm thinking really hard, and then just do the math in my head and give him the answer. I ask, "Out of curiosity, what would a wrong answer be?" She says, "Freaking out about the question. — David Shapiro

Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone. — Henry Beard

Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story — Lee Trevino

After hitting two balls into the water- By God, I've got a good mind to jump in and make it four. — Simon Hobday

One thing I've learned over time is, if you hit a golf ball into water, it won't float. — Arnold Palmer

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole? — Bruce Lansky

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls. — Bob Hope

The best part about golf is when you hit the ball long. It feels really good. — Michelle Wie

Tucker Case did not play golf. He'd tried it once, and although he'd enjoyed the drinking and driving the little electric car into the lake, he just didn't get the appeal. It seemed - and he'd examined the game closely because his father had loved it - an awful lot like a bunch of rich white guys in goofy clothing walking around on an absurdly large lawn hitting absurdly small white balls with crooked sticks. — Christopher Moore

I had very low expectations. Honestly, I think I had 11 rounds of golf the entire year in before this tournament, and I had hit balls maybe four or five times. — Trent Dilfer