Going Potty Quotes & Sayings

One year, I'd completely lost my bearings trying to follow potty training instruction from a psychiatric expert. I was stuck on step on, which stated without an atom of irony: "Before you begin, remove all stubbornness from the child." ... I knew it only could have been written by someone whose suit coat was still spotless at the end of the day, not someone who had any hands-on experience with an actual two-year-old. — Mary Blakely

Stay out of this, buddy. You're lucky I'm not booking you for that F-word you let slip. America doesn't tolerate that kind of potty-mouthing. — Benjamin R. Smith

Here Katy. I have a cooler trick than Finn's. I can show you how to write poop on a calculator . . . now that's awesome." I pulled the calculator from her little hands and proceeded to teach her some potty humor every kid should know.
Finn grabbed it from my hand and punched in some numbers and passed it back. When I turned it upside down it read "hILLBILLI." Well, I definitely was that. — Amy Harmon

You're afraid he'll leave you and you'll fall apart. You don't know that you can get along without him and you're afraid to find out because then your whole potty theory will come tumbling down. You'll have to stop thinking of yourself as weak and dependent and you hate that. — Erica Jong

Too, some of my teachers helped me to navigate those books, showed me the maps and paths and secret decoder rings - people like Linda Kintz and Forest Pyle and Mary Wood and Diana Abu Jaber. They didn't treat me like a messy writer girl in combat boots who had infiltrated the smart people room. They treated me like I deserved to be there, potty mouth and all, they helped make a space for me to rage and ride my own intellect. That's why I'm saying their names out loud. — Lidia Yuknavitch

You have so much going on. It comes off like a ... "
"Static?" I suggested.
"Exactly!" He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. "You need to tune it, get your frequencies in check, like a radio."
"I would love to.Just tell me how."
"It's not a matter of turning a dial. You have no on or off switch." He walked around in a large lazy circle. "It's something you have to practice. It's more like being potty-trained. You have to learn when to hold it and when to release."
"That's a pretty sexy analogy," I said. — Amanda Hocking

A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity. — Janet Evanovich

I don't intimidate you at all, do I? (Acheron)
Well, when you chased me through Kyrian's house, I did wet my pants a bit. Guess I'm not housebroken after all. My mom will be so disappointed after all she went through to potty train me. But once you let me live ... your big mistake ... now I know you think I'm too cute and fluffy to kill. (Nick) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

AHA!" screamed a voice from overhead ... Peeves was hanging upside down from a chandelier and grinning maliciously at them.
"Potty asked Loony to go to the party! Potty lurves Loony! Potty luuuuurves Looooooony!"
And he zoomed away, cackling and shrieking, "Potty loves Loony! — J.K. Rowling

Leo grabbed the neasrest thing he could find- a Porta-Potty seat- and threw it at the face. Leve me alone! — Rick Riordan

She wanted me to betray you guys, and I was like, 'Pfft, right, I'm gonna listen to a face in the potty sludge'. — Rick Riordan

I muttered a swear word to myself. After I heard Angel cussing like a sailor when she stubbed her toe, my new resolution was to watch my language. All I needed was a six-year-old mutant with a potty mouth — James Patterson

Before I was a year old I walked and talked and I was even potty trained. When I started going to school I think I got on everyone's nerves because I used to ask adult questions rather than settle for the stuff usually fed to kids. — Sharon Stone

I'm going to say this one time and one time only, so you had better listen up. The world is going to hell in a hand basket. We got Jacque running off into ponds like a crazy woman; Fane thinking he's Aqua Man, diving in after her and getting his ass captured by the wicked witch; we have freak lightening shows; thunder that shakes the ground; and wind strong enough to knock you over. And you know what's really scary? It's going to get worse before it gets better. The fan is broken from all the shit that has hit it. Yes, I have a potty mouth. I get to have one when the world as we know it is crumbling around us. — Quinn Loftis

untrained dogs and they will urinate over them. Purchase a crate or cage that is big enough for your pup to lie down, turn around, and stand up in. Create a food and potty schedule. It should include: Meal Potty Time Play Time Training Time Sleep in Crate Repeat from A Every Four Hours No matter what, don't leave your poor pup in the crate all the time. At the same time, though, the crate should give it time to relax and nap between potty and play sessions. Walk the dog about 15-30 minutes after every meal. Always praise the dog for going outside. Never ever use hitting or yelling if the dog has an accident in the house. Now, as far as behavior training, you will need to follow a schedule to make sure neither you nor the pup gets too tired or frustrated. That's what we are going to talk about next. — Cynthia Lynden

Less than forty-eight hours until G-Day, when Gaea the Princess of Potty Sludge would awaken in all her dirt-faced glory. — Rick Riordan

It's been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk, and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up.
It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of a child's life cheerfully discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do.
But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immeadiately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are now considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise and cookies and juice boxes.
One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principal's office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word). — Dav Pilkey

Larry woke up with a hangover that was not too bad, a mouth that tasted as if a baby dragon had used it for a potty chair — Stephen King

I'm a bit of a potty mouth. My dad used to wash out my mouth with soap, but that was just to get rid of any traces of his DNA. — Doug Stanhope

I sat belonely

I sat belonely down a tree,
humbled fat and small.
A little lady sing to me
I couldn't see at all.

I'm looking up and at the sky,
to find such wondrous voice.
Puzzly puzzle, wonder why,
I hear but have no choice.

'Speak up, come forth, you ravel me',
I potty menthol shout.
'I know you hiddy by this tree'.
But still she won't come out.

Such softly singing lulled me sleep,
an hour or two or so
I wakeny slow and took a peep
and still no lady show.

Then suddy on a little twig
I thought I see a sight,
A tiny little tiny pig,
that sing with all it's might.

'I thought you were a lady'.
I giggle, - well I may,
To my suprise the lady,
got up - and flew away. — John Lennon

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he's up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..."

"...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?"

"Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!? — Jonathan Dunne

As I was walking to my car, a crow that was sitting on a wall suddenly scooped down and did number two on my head. Luckily I was holding a newspaper on my head at that time because sun was very strong and I didn't want to become tanned. So thanks god my blow-dried hair didn't get spoiled. People say it is a good amen when a bird does potty on you, but I am sorry, what's so good about your head being used as a toilet? — Moni Mohsin

I'd learned how to handle a gun before I was fully potty trained. — Diane Kelly

And the most extraordinary thing is that, in the end, as you grow older, you continue to go poop once a day if you are in good health, while it is not easy to make love every day. So finally, the pleasure is longer-lasting and more frequent than the other. — Guy Fournier

Leo scratched his head. Well, I dunno about enchiladas- "Enceladus" Piper corrected. Whatever. But Old Potty Face mentioned another name. Porpoise Fear, or something? — Rick Riordan

The basic idea that incentives can be used to motivate behavior is a powerful one. It works for employees, and it has a clear place in parenting, as anyone who has tried to potty-train a recalcitrant toddler with sticker rewards knows. — Emily Oster

Punishing potty errors after they've happened is perhaps the most common training mistake; it only aggravates the problem. Going — Dawn Sylvia-Stasiewicz

The advantage is I have my family with me all the time. When your daughter takes her first steps or says her first words and your son is going through potty training, I'm not missing any of those things. — Larry Dixon

Did you just tell that man you went potty on yourself?"
"You. Shut. Up,"I hissed back furiously and chucked the scrubs at his head. "Hurry up before they find out I didn't wet myself. You seriously owe me. — Maggie Stiefvater

A miniature dancing bear that had to go potty. Scooping him up, Grace ran for the front door, getting him outside just in time for him to race to the closest tree and lift a stumpy leg. Toby, still in his Star War's pj's, trotted across the yard to join him in anointing the tree. — Jill Shalvis

That's not true, Gran." Meg had to stand up for herself if no one else was going to. "I love the outdoors." Not, but there was no way she was going to sound like a wuss. "Why, remember that time your parents took you camping when you were ten? You went potty in the woods and accidentally sat on a wasps' nest. — Miranda Liasson

It's very different working with all adults. I have a swear jar so that, if they have a potty mouth, I make them pay. That's what it's like being on set with adults. — Joey King

My names John Bonham, I'm a drummer and I'm potty about cars. — John Bonham

I think-I need to ask an embarrassing question. Do you think I could borrow a pair of scrubs? I-uh-my pants-"
"Oh!" Cried the poor nurse. "Yes. Absolutely. I'll be right back."
[ ... ]
"Thanks," I mumbled. "I'll just change here. He's not looking at anything at the moment." I gestured toward Sam, who was looking convincingly sedated.
The nurse vanished through the curtains. Sam eye's flashed open again, distinctly amused.
He whispered, "Did you just tell that man you went potty on yourself?"
"You.Shut.UP." I hissed back furiously. — Maggie Stiefvater

One thing I've very quickly learned is that if you wake up every morning worrying about what's in the press, you would go completely and utterly potty. — Nick Clegg

Zoey: Holy crap, Aphrodite! Could you not sneak up and scare me?
Aphrodite: No one was sneaking and holy crap is that a curse? Cause if it is i'm afraid i'm going to have to wake up the potty mouth police and have them make an arrest. So Stark's not dead yet.
Zoey:Gosh, thanks for the update. You just made me feel so much better.
Aphrodite:Don't be a pain in my ass while i'm trying to be nice. — P.C. Cast

This writing thing, it ain't like that hip hop shit, City. For li'l niggas like you," he told me, "this writing thing is like a gotdamn porta potty. It's one li'l nigga at a time, shitting in the toilet, funking up the little space he get. And you shit a regular shit or a classic shit. Either way," he said. "City, you gotta shit classic, then get your black ass on off the pot." He actually grabbed my hand. "You probably think I'm hyping you just for the money. It ain't just about the money. It's really not. It's about doing whatever it takes for you to have your voice heard. So I don't know what you're writing in that book you always carrying around, but it better be classic because you ain't gonna get no two times to get it right, you hear me? — Kiese Laymon

A book without potty humor is like a banana split without hot fudge. It can still be good, I suppose, but you kinda get the feeling that something is missing. — Dav Pilkey

I'll tell you who has a lot of money, and that's Manny. I mean, that kid is RICH. A few weeks ago Mom and Dad told Manny they'd give him a quarter for every time he uses the potty without being asked. So now he carries around a gallon of water with him at all times. — Jeff Kinney

Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!' — Bill Maher

It pretty much defeats the purpose of bedtime reading if you fall asleep before the kids do. And you tend to wake up with a matchbox stuck on the end of your nose and/or a potty on your head. — Mal Peet

Washington is like playing the Super Bowl, only there are no timeouts, no potty breaks, and the arena is filled with the media. In government, you have to learn to put yourself second in a big way. But I am a business person at heart. I like to be in charge. — Desiree Rogers

In Paris in 1964 was the first time I ever heard Dylan at all. Paul got the record (The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan) from a French DJ. For three weeks in Paris we didn't stop playing it. We all went potty about Dylan. — John Lennon

Life itself is too great a miracle for us to make so much fuss about potty little reversals of what we pompously assume to be the natural order. — Robertson Davies

I don't know what they are protesting at Occupy Wall Street but I'm on their side. But 10,000 protestors and one Porta Potty? — David Letterman

that he learns what has to be done faster and effectively. Below are some guidelines that will help you potty train with no problems — John Scout

How can one explain all the time and thought that goes into raising a child, all the opportunities for mistakes, all the chances to recover and try again? How does one break the news that nothing permanent can be formed in an instant
children are not weaned, potty trained, taught manners, introduced to civilization in one or two tries
as everyone imagined. — Mary Blakely

Maybe Scotty the Potty turned into Scotty the Hottie. Have you thought about that? — Becca Fitzpatrick