Gift Certificate Quotes & Sayings

Reading is such a personal thing to me. I'd much rather give someone a gift certificate to a bookstore, and let that person choose his or her own books. — Erik Larson

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size. — Milton Berle

That whole week, we started to divide things into those two categories: anything or something. A piece of jewelry bougth at a department store: anything. A piece of jewelry made by hand: something. A dollar: anything. A sand dollar: something. A gift certificate: anything. An IOU for two hours of starwatching: something. A drunk kiss at a party: anything. A sober kiss alone in a park: something. — David Levithan

Researchers in England say tall men are more likely to have more children than short men. Here in America we call that the NBA theory. — Jay Leno

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. — David Letterman

I believe that climate change represents one of the greatest threats to our national security and our planet. — Mark Pocan

What is right, what is wrong, how can anyone say? I view very, very, few things as Right with a capital R. — Dan Farmer

A true initiation never ends. — Robert Anton Wilson

The sea has receded!' cried Stephen. 'I am amazed.' 'They tell me it does so twice a day in these parts,' said Jack. 'It is technically known as the tide. — Patrick O'Brian

Next is a box of truffles from Godiva and then a gift certificate from Victoria's Secret for an unknown amount. It's made out to my boobs, which Alex officially asks on a date. — Helena Hunting

When I was ten years old I was actually given McDonald's gift certificates for Christmas by my mom. Yes, my own mother. I guess she couldn't find gift certificates for a vending machine. I like to think it was her way of saying, "Merry Christmas. Here are some coupons for poison." McDonald's introduced the gift certificate prior to the obesity epidemic. I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious. — Jim Gaffigan

There's never enough time for all the naps you want. — Carolyn V. Hamilton

I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal. — Mike Birbiglia

I love thee as I love all that we have fought for. I love thee as I love liberty and dignity and the rights of all men to work and not be hungry. I love thee as I love Madrid that we have defended and as I love all my comrades that have died. And many have died. Many. Many. Thou canst not think how many. But I love thee as I love what I love most in the world and I
love thee more. — Ernest Hemingway,

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat. — Milton Berle

Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him. — Erma Bombeck

Sometimes the magnetism of a song is impossible to ignore, and it demands that it be sung in a certain way. — Tom Waits