George Carlin Stuff Quotes & Sayings

Most people have very little control over what sort of day they're going to have. For instance, when one person says, "Have a nice day," the other may well be thinking, "I've just been diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and I'm also coughing up thick black stuff." In this case the well-wisher's words will fall on deaf ears. — George Carlin

There is a core of loneliness. It's partly existential. Secondly, I was raised a loner. My parents were not there. My father was asked to leave because he couldn't metabolize ethanol. Actually, my mother ran away with us when I was 2 months old and my brother was 5. Real dramatic stuff: down the fire escape, through backyards. So, I sort of raised myself. I was alone a lot and I invented myself - I lived through the radio and through my imagination. — George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff. — George Carlin

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? — George Carlin

If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin

You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets ... supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain. — George Carlin

I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think. — George Carlin

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. — George Carlin

Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff? — George Carlin

That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff. — George Carlin

Let me get a sip of water here ... you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don't care, I drink it anyway. You know why? Because I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water. I'm a loyal American and I'm not happy unless I let government and industry poison me a little bit every day. — George Carlin