George Bernard Shaw Funny Quotes & Sayings

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. — George Bernard Shaw

My wife thinks I think I'm such hot stuff. She's wrong. I don't think I'm such hot stuff.

My hero George Bernard Shaw, socialist, and shrewd and funny playwright, said in his eighties that if he was considered smart, he sure pitied people who were considered dumb. He said that, having lived as long as he had, he was at last sufficiently wise to serve as a reasonably competent office boy.

That's how I feel. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw

NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right. — George Bernard Shaw

Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do? — George Bernard Shaw

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous. — George Bernard Shaw

Ladies and gentleman are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen. — George Bernard Shaw

The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism. — George Bernard Shaw

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time. — George Bernard Shaw

When you find something funny search it for hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw