Gargoyliest Quotes & Sayings

The night in question, I had put aside my perpetual lavatory read, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, because of all the manuscripts (inedible green tomatoes) submitted to Cavendish-Redux, my new stable of champions. I suppose it was about eleven o'clock when I heard my front door being interfered with. Skinhead munchkins mug-or-treating?
Cherry knockers? The wind?
Next thing I knew, the door flew in off its ruddy hinges! I was thinking al-Queda, I was thinking ball lightning, but no. Down the hallway tramped what seemed like an entire rugby team, though the intruders numbered only three. (You'll notice, I am always attacked in threes.) "Timothy," pronounced the gargoyliest, "Cavendish, I presume. Caught with your cacks down."
"My business hours are eleven to two, gentlemen," Bogart would have said, "with a three-hour break for lunch. Kindly leave." All I could do was blurt, "Oy! My door! My ruddy door! — David Mitchell

Religions are such stuff as dreams are made of. — H.G.Wells

The plants and flowers
I raised about my hut
I now surrender
To the will
Of the wind — Ryokan

So many things I'm not, and so few things I am. — Michael Grant

We lost our minds in the '80s and '90s; we really as a society just felt that everyone could only care about themselves. There was no responsibility to discuss what's going on in your town, your state, your nation. And it was a blast, it was really fun, but it doesn't work. — Adam McKay

If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day. — Don Rickles

Does the imam have a legal right to build the mosque at Ground Zero? The answer is yes. But is it the right thing to do? The answer is no. And most Americans, and most moderate Muslims, join with me in that call. — K. A. Paul

Even soldiers from the Vietnam War had said that when they were fighting in that war, the landmine was just one of any number of weapons to use in the fighting. It wasn't until they began to think about the aftermath and the legacy of landmines that they recognized the long-term, indiscriminate impact of the weapon. — Jody Williams

I bet that smile could cure cancer. — S.L. Morgan

Ye always carry your women wi ye into battle, Ian Og. They're the root of your strength, man. — Diana Gabaldon

Set realistic goals short and long term.
2. Plan an orderly and thorough routine to train the entire body.
3. Make a commitment to stick to your routine for four to six weeks to realize the changes and benefits, develop perseverance and create a habit.
4. Establish enthusiasm for your training, the driving force to perform successfully.
5. Ease into an appropriate training program with a wholesome, thoughtful nutritional plan: proper foods, amounts and order of consumption.
6. Be confident from the beginning that the application of these sound principles will produce the desired results. — Dave Draper

Scripture instructs God's people to give our best to whatever task we turn our hands to, to conduct ourselves as if we work for the Lord himself, not for man. — Karen Witemeyer

Some problems - take Ireland - were insoluble, but you would never get the Americans to admit anything was insoluble. — John Le Carre

I am preparing myself for death. When I go to sleep, I try to keep myself smiling. So that when I die, I have a smile on my lips. I want an electric cremation. I don't want any poems or fuss after that. And for heaven's sake, don't bring back my ashes. Flush them down the toilet if the crematorium refuses to keep them. If they tell you that I am dead, I want you to give a big laugh. — Zohra Sehgal

Those eyes, they were my own kind of madness. — Logan Keys

American political discourse had framed the Jewish problem as an immigration problem. Germany's persecution of Jews raised the specter of a vast influx of Jewish refugees at a time when America was reeling from the Depression. — Erik Larson