Gaffigan Show Quotes & Sayings

Furi stared at the beautiful naked man and couldn't stop his own grin from stretching across his face. Imagining all six of them in bed would be way too overwhelming for him, but it made one hell of a visual fantasy. "Don't even think about it," Syn growled. "You're — A.E. Via

The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some creative fulfillment, which you do on a nightly basis as a comedian, it's hard to give that up just to be the wacky neighbor on a show. — Jim Gaffigan

It took me a long time to understand not to get caught up in other people's expectations. It really comes down to creative fulfillment. It took me a while to realize I don't want to just be on a show to be on a show. — Jim Gaffigan

For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing. — Jim Gaffigan

Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate. — Jim Gaffigan

I think sometimes your worst enemy is inside your head. All your insecurities, your ego, your fears, your expectations. — Luis Gerardo Mendez

I was able to make the jump to theaters without having a TV show. My passion for getting a TV show just plummeted. It was like I had already achieved what I wanted to achieve. — Jim Gaffigan

I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was. — Jim Gaffigan

The shows need youth. All of our comics are getting too famous to do the show regularly. The people who are regulars five years ago, a lot of them have moved on and can't do the show anymore. We can't really get Jim Gaffigan anymore, we can't get Nick Swardson anymore. — B. J. Porter

Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it. — Jim Gaffigan

People don't get it. He didn't even have a fuckin' map; what kind of idiot? THAT was the point. There's no blank spots on the map anymore, anywhere on earth. If you want a blank spot on the map, you gotta leave the map behind. — Jon Krakauer

I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy. — Jim Gaffigan

So many heroes are driven by destiny. Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, they were all chosen and born to heroism. Even with Batman, it doesn't feel like Bruce could do anything else. His whole life was leading him to become the Dark Knight. — Andrew Kreisberg

In a twilight garden, when a brown nightingale starts singing, what is left to a blonde chicken is to remain silent. — Mehmet Murat Ildan

Parents of young children are always acting. You act excited to read a story for the five-hundredth time. You act impressed someone went to the bathroom on the toilet. The excitement I show to some of the children's scribbles should get me a Golden Globe nomination. — Jim Gaffigan

Even in the '70s and '80s, the television show Happy Days was aware of the irony of "cool." The cool character on Happy Days was "the Fonz," and he was ridiculous. His office was in a men's bathroom. That's not only not cool, that's not even sanitary. — Jim Gaffigan

And with that he sensed that this girl he loved and yet knew he had to push away had finally pushed back. — Seymour Shubin