Gaffigan Comedian Quotes & Sayings

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful. — Jim Gaffigan

The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some creative fulfillment, which you do on a nightly basis as a comedian, it's hard to give that up just to be the wacky neighbor on a show. — Jim Gaffigan

For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing. — Jim Gaffigan

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian. — Jim Gaffigan

Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing? — Jim Gaffigan

For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny. — Jim Gaffigan

I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it's pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there. — Jim Gaffigan

I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that. — Jim Gaffigan

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters. — Jim Gaffigan

I know there is something out there and like most people, I tend to believe in it more when things go bad. — Maggie Smith

Turks have long admired the sultan, Mehmet II, for his military triumphs, especially his capture of Constantinople, now known as Istanbul, in 1453. — Stephen Kinzer

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness. — Jim Gaffigan

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan

But I decided that the popularity of something holds no value when I make my choices. I make decisions for me. — Cassie Mae

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things. — Jim Gaffigan

One is a Buddhist if he or she accepts the following four truths: All compounded things are impermanent. All emotions are pain. All things have no inherent existence. Nirvana is beyond concepts. — Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse

I love stand-up comedians. I really do. — Jim Gaffigan

So fruitful is slander in variety of expedients to satiate as well as disguise itself. But if these smoother weapons cut so sore, what shall we say of open and unblushing scandal, subjected to no caution, tied down to no restraints? — Laurence Sterne

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent. — Jim Gaffigan

Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny. — Jim Gaffigan

I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross' type of standup. — Jim Gaffigan

Mr. Marsham was born (in 1822) into a world that was still essentially medieval - a place of candlelight, medicinal leeches, travel at walking pace, news from afar that was always weeks or months old - and lived to see the introduction of one marvel after another: steamships and speeding trains, telegraphy, photography, anesthesia, indoor plumbing, gas lighting, antisepsis in medicine, refrigeration, telephones, electric lights, recorded music, cars and planes, skyscrapers, motion pictures, radio, and literally tens of thousands of tiny things more, from mass-produced bars of soap to push-along lawn mowers. — Bill Bryson

Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it. — Jim Gaffigan

Mark Twain once said, I can live for two months on a good compliment. — Gary Chapman

The change most needed in our lives isn't change in our situations and relationships but in us. The thing God is most intent on rescuing us from is ourselves. — Timothy D. Lane