Funny Writing Quotes Quotes & Sayings

Don't think about the writing process too much. Just do one thing: tell the motherfucking story. — Don Roff

My book sales are way down today. Also, I've received two scathing reviews. One of them calls me a purveyor of insipid wet-dreams. — Nenia Campbell

Fortunately, the uncertain parentage of an orphan is a crucial emotional scar that must be opened and used to undermine them. When he is standing before you in the final confrontation, if you happen to be his father, this is the time to reveal the fact. Even if you are not, it is worth suggesting you are anyway. It will mess with his head. It could be start of a beautiful relationship; one that should end in his unfortunate demise. — Paul Dale

I said. "I'm fine. I have a little bit of a head ache, but I'm not dizzy or nauseous. I can walk and talk just fine, and I can remember everything." "Everything, huh? Don't self-diagnose, Doctor Fisher. Do you remember when the Battle of Bunker Hill was fought?" "The what?" "The Battle of Bunker Hill. We covered it in World Civ." "No, we did not." "We did, too. The unit on the American Revolution." "Davin, that was like, two years ago! I don't remember stuff like that!" "So, not everything." "Everything important." "That happens to have been a very significant battle," Davin reminded me, in a smug tone. — J.M. Richards

The thing is, Fallon ... I told you before to lock the door if you wanted me to stay out. Funny thing is ... " I leaned in. "You. Never. Did. — Penelope Douglas

The time is gone when mere accidents could still happen to me; and what could still come to me now that was not mine already? What returns, what finally comes home to me, is my own self and what of myself has long been in strange lands and scattered among all things and accidents. — Friedrich Nietzsche

The average person is gregarious; there is something in the spirit of the crowd that adds to the enjoyment of entertainment. — Ivor Novello

I have started a new blog W.A.R.(Writers Amongst Readers) for all those writing or reading books. Quotes, excerpts, comments from the world's greatest writers. See robinhawdonblog — Robin Hawdon

I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended. — Wayne Gerard Trotman

Someone once said writing and gardening are similar pursuits. Tell you what, I'd have one fucked up garden if that were the case. — Carla H. Krueger

Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime. — Waseem Latif

I surround myself with books when I write, thus surrounding myself with writers... only they don't critique me and then get up for coffee. — Ryan Lilly

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch. — Lili St. Crow

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99. — Ryan Lilly

ISIS was not particular about how their soldiers made it to Jannah, so long as they inflicted maximum damage.. — Kenneth Eade

Punctuation was, it is sad to say, invented a very long time ago. Even more frustrating, it has remained with us ever since. — Anne Elizabeth Moore

I've written for the waste basket so often that we've become friends. He writes too, but it's mostly garbage. — Ryan Lilly

Writing is all about tents: sometimes you're competent, sometimes you're eloquetent. — Kevin Focke

Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ... — E.A. Bucchianeri

When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there. — Amit Kalantri