Funny Weird Random Quotes & Sayings

Alice smiled her wide smile. The crooked incisor smile. — Jennifer Mathieu

I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It's like, an overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain. — Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Care to explain?" Ari asked.
"Didn't you see my signals?"
"Yeah. But they didn't make sense. Five into one and it's an intrusion."
"It's an illusion! Five of them are an illusion."
"That's not the signal for illusion. This is." Ari demonstrated the proper signal.
"That's what I did."
"No, you didn't. You did a weird twisty thing with your pinky."
"I had a scimitar at my throat. I'd like to see you try signaling under those conditions."
-Janco and Ari bickering — Maria V. Snyder

I now get to have the life I wanted when I was 18 years old. Now, I'm like, 'I can buy any skateboard I want.' — Kyle Kinane

The Chicago Way is a wonderful first novel. Michael Harvey has studied the masters and put his own unique touch on the crime novel. This book harkens the arrival of a major new voice. — Michael Connelly

Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there's nothing sensible you can do with it. — Andrew Smith

I learned then that practically no one in the world is entirely bad or entirely good, and that motives are often more important than actions. — Eleanor Roosevelt

Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. — Diane Arbus

My smile wavers as I revert to my natural state of being: nervous and weird. — Stephanie Perkins

The walls of her stall were covered with graffiti. If it had been funny ("Pull here for MFA Degree" right below the toilet paper dispenser) she would've stayed longer, but it was mostly weird random names and dates. — Grady Hendrix

A thought has no size in the physical sense but is vast as compared to the physical acts and objects into which it is later precipitated. The power of a thought is enormous and superior to all the successive physical acts, objects, and events that body forth its energy. A thought often endures for a time much greater than the whole life of the man who thought it. — Harold Percival

I wanted to come through with my own voice and, hopefully, have it affect people. I want people to know that I'm not an Elvis impersonator. — Lisa Marie Presley

Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway.
'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.
'Naturally, you're a male. What you see is what you've got,' I said resentfully.
'Huh?' said Lester. — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor