Funny Walter Quotes & Sayings

People notice peacemakers because they dress funny. We know how the people who make war dress - in uniforms and medals, or in computers and clipboards, or in absoluteness, severity, greed, and cynicism. But the peacemaker is dressed in righteousness, justice, and faithfulness - dressed for the work that is to be done. — Walter Brueggemann

Jeff- "A Hanukkah tradition is making potato pancakes. For something a little different, use a sweet potato. Anything you'd like to add, Walter?"

Walter- "Accept Jesus as your Savior or you'll burn in Hell for all eternity. — Jeff Dunham

It's kind of funny. When I got my diagnosis - cancer - I said to myself, 'Why me?' And then, the other day, when I got the good news, I said the same thing. — Walter White

If flatness were funny, a dinner plate would be hilarious. — Walter Moers

Literary dementia seems dated now, but there was a time when a month in the funny farm was as de rigueur for budding writers as an M.F.A. is now. To be sent away was a badge of honor; to undergo electroshock, a glorious martyrdom. — Walter Kirn

Rumo!" said Rumo.
"That's right!" Smyke exclaimed. "You Rumo, me Smyke."
"You Rumo, me Smyke." Rumo repeated eagerly.
"No, no." Smyke chuckled. — Walter Moers

Writing about something specific, in my mind, was overwhelming, so I wrote about art because I love art and I know I can say a couple of funny things about art. — Walter Martin

In my youth I hoped to do great things; now I shall be satisfied to get through without scandal. — Walter Bagehot

This world is a funny world indeed,
And people are hard to suit.
The man who plays the piccolo,
Is a bore to the man with the flute.
And often to myself I've thought how lovely it would be,
If every person I ever met would simply agree with me.

But since they won't,
I think the way to make the whole world bright
Is never to mind what others say,
And do what I think is right. — Walter Learned

Jeff: You know, you don't have to do this.
Walter: Yeah, I could get a real job.
Jeff: What would you do?
Walter: I wanna be a greeter at Wal-Mart.
Walter: What the hell's so funny?
Jeff: At Wal-Mart, what would be your opening line?
Walter: Oh.
Walter: Welcome to Wal-Mart. Get your shit and get out!
Walter: Have a nice day! — Jeff Dunham

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it. — Walter Matthau

Conversations about films are always funny. I would say a majority of people want to talk about what were the more obvious successes; the big box office films. Other people wanting to be more sensitive to you want to talk about the ones that maybe didn't make a lot of money, but they think you might have a special feeling about. And then other people sometimes want to help you by suggesting that you should have done this or that in the movie, that that would have helped you a great deal in whatever capacity. — Walter Hill

On horseback you feel as if you're moving in time to classical music; a camel seems to progress to the beat of a drum played by a drunk. — Walter Moers

Approaching the forest from the west was no army, but a delegation of Grailsundanian master surgeons on their way to an appendix conference ... But that isn't the craziest part of the story - oh, no, my boy, for approaching from the east was a party of itinerant watchmakers bound for the pocket-watch fair at Wimbleton ... But not even that is the craziest part of the story! For apporaching from the south were over a hundred armourers and locksmiths on their way to Florinth, where some power-hungry prince had commissioned them to build a monstrous war machine ... Well, that would be enough crazy coincedences for an averagely crazy story but the battle of Nurn Forest involved the most improbable coincedences in the history of Zamonia. For entering the forest, this time from the north came a delegation of alchemists. — Walter Moers

I probably would have gone the M.F.A. route except I was a dad at 19, and it made more sense to go to work for a newspaper and support a kid that way. But the funny thing is, that detour became the most important step in my developing as a novelist. — Jess Walter

Yeah, that's funny, huh? ... Something hurts you real bad and you get used to it. Like being hurt becomes part of who you are. — Walter Dean Myers

His son Peter Bucky happily spent time driving Einstein around, and he later wrote down some of his recollections in extensive notebooks. They provide a delightful picture of the mildly eccentric but deeply un-affected Einstein in his later years. Peter tells, for example, of driving in his convertible with Einstein when it suddenly started to rain. Einstein pulled off his hat and put it under his coat. When Peter looked quizzical, Einstein explained: "You see, my hair has withstood water many times before, but I don't know how many times my hat can. — Walter Isaacson

It's a funny thing, but today the Titanic is probably much more - that is people are much more aware of it than they were in 1954, when I was doing my research. — Walter Lord

When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much. — Walter Lippmann

Here for business or pleasure, Mr. Wheeler?"
"Redemption," Shane says. — Jess Walter

When I read a script, I have to see the funny, and if I can see it's funny, it helps me to be able to transmit that. — Jessica Walter

As Osborne famously declared, "Adequacy is sufficient. All else is superfluous." Jobs found that approach to be morally appalling, and he spent days making fun of Osborne. "This guy just doesn't get it," Jobs repeatedly railed as he wandered the Apple corridors. "He's not making art, he's making shit. — Walter Isaacson

Reagan was an exceedingly likeable guy, just a heck of a nice fellow, despite his politics. He was funny and loved a good joke, the dirtier, I'm afraid the more ethnic, the better. I don't think he brought very much to the presidency, except charisma and success. — Walter Cronkite

I love humor in writing, so I've written to the thing that's funny, there's the joke, but then I just kept going. I started thinking about all the bikes I've had stolen, and that got me thinking about crime, and that got me thinking about the city I'm in. — Jess Walter

Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. — Jack Black

Byron clapped Walter on the back. 'Good work,' he said.
Walter shook his head. 'You're the one who clocked her with the Stephen King hardcover. That took some of the wind out of her.'
'Thank heavens he's a wordy man,' said Byron. — Michael Thomas Ford