Funny Unavailable Quotes & Sayings

The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends. — Evan Esar

The only good thing was that by midnight, even most of the bums had gone home to sleep it off. That was lucky for them, because Ray was the worst damn driver I'd ever seen. And that was after I jerked his head out of the duffel and parked it on the dashboard.
"Gah! That makes it worse!" he told me, as I tried to get the eyes facing forward.
"How can it possibly be worse?"
"Because I got double vision now! Get it off! Get it off!"
He batted at his own head and succeeded in sending it tumbling into Christine's lap. She immediately went into hysterics and slapped it away. The head fell out of the car; Ray hit the brakes and we came to a screeching halt.
"What are you doing?" I screeched, as he hopped out. "There are people firing at us!"
"Tough!" came from somewhere under the car. — Karen Chance

I go in on your arm and we separate. To make me look unavailable, since Vlad likes what he can't have, I play dumb blonde and make myself sexy." I glared as Adam barked with laughter at my words."No going off of the plan, when he takes you in the back room - and he will, you work the information out of him without blowing your cover, or him." I shot the glare to Ryder. "I have no intention of bobbing on Vlad's knob. Or yours." I tossed into remove the wide smirk my response had given him and it worked. — Amelia Hutchins

I already have my bathroom time scheduled, so you'll have to work around it. Please note the bathroom is unavailable for the hour before each of my scheduled usage times (I don't like to feel as if someone has just been in there when I have to go). However, for your convenience, there is also a toilet available with minimal wait time on the first floor lobby if you have an emergency and need immediate use. — Kyle Adams

The whole art of government consists in the art of being honest. — Thomas Jefferson

Science and theology are both lenses through which to interact with and interpret reality, sort of like a microscope and a pair of binoculars. Both sets of lenses tell us more about the world than we could see with the naked eye, but the information we get from each can diverge considerably. — T. Colin Campbell

The basic trouble is that people make statements without sufficient data. — Stacy Aumonier

George W. Bush: a person who is the ultimate outcome of the American condition. Someone promoted above ability because of circumstance and organisation and empathy. You don't have to be intelligent. A moron in a hurry could know that you don't prevent war by having a war. — David Lange

No tye can oblige the perfidious.
[No tie can oblige the perfidious.] — George Herbert

Would you be willing to take a lie detector test?"
"I'm afraid not," he said. "It goes against my religion."
His brow furrowed. "How?"
"Only God can judge me ... — J.M. Darhower

Whether or not they exist we are slaves to our gods. — Fernando Pessoa

Don't let the tattoo fool you. I'm no angel. — Cat Johnson

It's the way some men say, "I'm not the problem" or that they shifted the conversation from actual corpses and victims as well as perpetrators to protecting the comfort level of bystander males. An exasperated woman remarked to me, "What do they want - a cookie for not hitting, raping, or threatening women?" Women are afraid of being raped and murdered all the time and sometimes that's more important to talk about than protecting male comfort levels. Or — Rebecca Solnit

We don't choose what we will do for God; He invites us to join Him where He wants to involve us. — Henry T. Blackaby

I am not unaware how unpopular on this floor are the sentiments I am about to advocate. — Benjamin F. Wade

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me. — Jay London

It is not a matter of life and death. It is not that important. But it is a reflection of life, and so the game is an enigma wrapped in a mystery impaled on a conundrum. — Peter Alliss