Funny Thou Quotes & Sayings

How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath? — William Shakespeare

There you are. A simple commandment. Not ten of them, just one: 'Thou shalt not eat.' (Personally, I wish the very first edict from God hadn't involved dieting, don't you?) — Liz Curtis Higgs

I shall die here. Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one. An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. we must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. — Alan Moore

Thou art a very ragged Wart. — William Shakespeare

I wander around in corsets in my house all the time. I'm a lot girlier than the roles I play, but I don't believe there's anything wrong in this business for being typecast. — Katee Sackhoff

He could do with some lunch. Especially since that bastard Sloane gave his Cheesy Doodles away. What kind of guy does that? A bastard, that's who. Did he not respect the male code of honor - thou shalt not steal another dude's snacks?
--Dex — Charlie Cochet

You can choose your transgressions but you can't choose your consequences. — Deborah Stempien

Musical theater is one of my passions. — Patrick Wilson

Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody? — Jon Stewart

Snaketail what art thou doing? called Voldemort. Then ... he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. — Tara Gilesbie

[Thou] mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms! — William Shakespeare

We have to get rid of excuses, no matter why you are the way you are,
don't let it be an excuse to stay that way. — Joyce Meyer

Life would be so much easier if we had the courage to ask the questions we fear the most. — Billy Taylor

Thou mayest choose an helpmeet," said the King to me.
An helpmeet? What the great googly-moogly was that? — Michael Darling

Pg. 231-232: They'd given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A minivan. O God of the Vehicular Justice, why dost thou mock me? Minivan, you albatross around my neck! You mark of Cain! You wretched beast high ceilings and few horsepower! — John Green

Prithee," He protested, "if thou wouldst waiteth a goddamned second- — Tessa Dare

Don't hesitate to insulate your house, especially the floor. — Padgett Powell

Shalt think otherwise when thou hast a man of thine own, I warrant you,' said the knight, apparently thinking this very funny. — C.S. Lewis

If I could give my teenaged self any advice, it would be 'Calm down!' — Zooey Deschanel

You don't have to do this."
"I think I do," Julian said. "I remember making a vow to that affect."
"Whither thou goest, i will go, whatever stupid thing you do, i shall do also'." Emma said. "Was that the vow? — Cassandra Clare

You're so hypno-something, could you be the devil, could you be an angel, your touch is something good, feels like
going floating, leave my body glowing."
"Katy Perry? She's singing Katy Perry in the hospital bathroom. Just when you think you've seen it all," Sally mumbled. She knocked on the door again. Still no answer, so she started banging. Then she was banging and hollering, "JEN! OPEN THE FREAKING DOOR!" Wouldn't you know, she just sang louder. Why am I not surprised, she thought. — Quinn Loftis

The world looks very different to me now at twenty. I have outgrown my early opinions and ideals with my short dresses, just as Mrs. Walton said we would. Now the critics can say 'Thou waitest till thy woman's fingers wrought the best that lay within thy woman's heart. — Annie Fellows Johnston

Whitestorm was experienced, wise and brave. When Firestar had been made deputy, he had shown not a scrap of resentment that a lesser cat might have felt. He had supported him from the beginning, and he was the cat Firestar naturally turned to when he needed advice. — Erin Hunter

How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee? — William Shakespeare

Where in the Bible are we told in one verse not to do a thing and in the next to do it?

'Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.' Prov. xxvi. 4.

'Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.' Prov. xxvi. 5. — Samuel Grant Oliphant