Funny Suspense Quotes & Sayings

Liza took her time sipping her tea. That's what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your life and add them to your face. — Gwenn Wright

Hey," Shayne said through the door. "You going to stay in there all night, because we're getting tired of trying to eavesdrop from out here. Can't hear a damn thing. — Jill Shalvis

Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?"
"I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go. — Shannon K. Butcher

Something can be very funny and then suddenly very terrifying-very exciting, and suddenly very ridiculous. I think that's what life is like, that's what interests me. — Joss Whedon

Blake dug a hand into our popcorn.
Jayden leaned forward. "Aurora, perhaps you can reconcile our debate. Is Hitchcock horror or suspense?"
"Suspense," Tristan said.
"Horror," Logan countered.
"You thought Sleepless in Seattle was horror," Tristan said. "All that lovey-dovey stuff gave you nightmares."
"Sad but true," Jayden confirmed. — A&E Kirk

What the hell was she doing on the nonhostage side of a handgun? — Suzanne Brockmann

He needed to gather her up, hold on to her, anything to help her stop trembling. Something was going to shake loose if she didn't. — Tara Janzen

Indignation is often the best defense. — Diane Capri

It was the first time her eyes had really met mine and to be honest I think there was more warmth between the lamb chops in the freezer. Daniel meeting Felicity in Cousin Felicity and the Eels of Misty Point. — Kaal Kaczmarek

He looks up and up and up to get to her face. His mama's a tall lady, and he's only seven. He's overwhelmed by red. Red heels, red nails, red lips, red hair, red eyes. So help him, the boy has always thought his mama's copper-colored eyes damn near shined red. He looks into those eyes and knows she's come home funny. — Carolyn Lee Adams

Excuse me," she said, her voice tight. "But if I'd known there was going to be a firearms examination at the end of the kidnapping, by God, I would have studied for it! — Tara Janzen

Hitchcock had a charm about him. He was very funny at times. He was incredibly brilliant in his field of suspense. — Tippi Hedren

Because I'm attracted to you. Because you're the poster child for contradictions and I enjoy each one of them. You're funny when you're being so damn serious. You have a kind heart and protective nature that reminds me so much of my father. — N.D. Jones

Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on the slick ground reverberated in his gut. He wanted to turn around and tell her to shut the hell up.
She sounded as though she was having sex.
Good sex. — Cherry Adair

All he'd done was lose her underwear and practically get her blown up.
Hell. This had to be the absolute worst first date of her life. — Tara Janzen

What do you want, MacGuffin, a duel?"
"No." Julian held out both hands, one palm flat, the other held over it in a fist. "Rock, paper, scissors. Two out of three."
Ty rolled his eyes and held out his fist, apparently willing to play. Julian hit his palm three times, and Ty kept time with his fist in the air. But when Julian threw a paper, Ty reached into his jacket with his other hand and pulled his gun, aiming it at Julian.
"Ty!" Zane said in exasperation from the front seat.
"Glock, paper, scissors. I win."
"You are an ass," Julian muttered. — Abigail Roux

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with. — Jill Shalvis

The man in 4B wondered if he could have your autograph. He told me his daughter is a huge fan.
Fan? What the hell? Dylan lifted himself up and looked over the back of his seat. Since when did covert operators have fans? — Tara Janzen

Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that," Garrett said gruffly. "You'll have me convinced I'm going to die."
"You're not? — Maya Banks

Damn," he said. "Have you been stuffing yourself with desserts just to prolong the suspense?"
She failed to note the humor in his tone. All she gathered from his remark was that he still didn't believe she was pregnant.
"You've found me out at last," she snapped. "I'm merely giving birth to a pastry."
"That's not funny,Becca."
"Neither was your absurd remark. Do you really think I like that my body is going to be disfigured? I hate it, but not as much as I hate you! — Johanna Lindsey

The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last. — Gene Wilder

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them? — Maya Banks

He'd done it like he did everything else - with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her. — Kaylea Cross

That's the funny thing about guns; even untrained hands can feel powerful using them. But take that gun away and you're left with nothing but a coward whose only skill is how to blindly pull a trigger. — Jennifer Wilson

He should probably make love to her. — Tara Janzen

If he sees you in this apartment he will seriously murder you and then break up with me. And I really, really don't want him to break up with me, Linc."
"But murdering me, that's all good? — Trevion Burns

She wondered what he really saw when he looked at her. God, she hoped she didn't look like his mother or anything. That would be veering into a Hitchcock shower scene that she really didn't want to be the star of. — Jane Cousins

When you sit that way, you look kind of like a beach ball with a head," he continued. "Your haircut is really, really bad, I'm probably going to lose my job for helping you this way, and I'm dying to fuck you."
He glanced at her. "That honest enough for you? — Suzanne Brockmann