Funny Status Quotes & Sayings

I know people in gangs; I could have went down that route. — Will.i.am

Kotak Mahindra Bank has very significant presence in the West and the North, and our total branch network between these two regions is 80 per cent, and in case of ING Vysya Bank, their network in South is 64 per cent of their total branch network. — Uday Kotak

While I'm spreading butter, I think about how I like the noise in Rose's house, lines of music, threaded and knotted over the top of one another. Knives hitting plates, chairs scraping floor, kids screaming, her dad's slippers shuffling his solo, "Can't a Man Get Any Sleep Around Here?" Mixed together it sounds like a little kitchen symphony. — Cath Crowley

Daniel Radcliffe is one of the hardest working people I have ever encountered and someone that so loves what he's doing and so eager to learn and is so brilliant at what he does. — Juno Temple

Under stress, they seek composure above all. But they do not find equanimity. — Sherry Turkle

The question is how to bring a work of imagination out of one language that was just as taken-for-granted by the persons who used it as our language is by ourselves. Nothing strange about it. — Robert Fitzgerald

Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing. — Jack Paar

The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."
Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way. — James Finn Garner

Status is a funny thing. Money gets you stuff, at least. Status doesn't get you much except the knowledge that you have it. And while money may not make you happy, it is easy to imagine someone who decides they have enough. With status, you can never have enough. It is comparative and competitive, by its very nature. It doesn't just not make you happy: it actively makes you unhappy. You want to make it to the top? There is no top. However high you climb, there is always somebody above you. — William Deresiewicz

Hell is being trapped in a night-club with the'beautiful people'and forced to live in a'luxury penthouse flat'. — Paul Johnson

Being called a 'music legend' is a very funny thing. It's nice to know that my work has been appreciated and that people have given me that status. On a personal level, however, I can't think about it too much. It means a lot ... but then it doesn't. — Chris Squire

Face Book keeps asking me to complete my relationship status; I doubt it has the soul of a gossip magazine column's starving journalist. — Shahla Khan

Motor testing also helps identify which nerve root may be the source of the problem. If there is weakness in quadriceps strength, it indicates that the L4 nerve root may be affected. Weakness on dorsiflexion indicates that the L5 nerve root may be affected, whereas plantar flexion weakness is indicative of an S1 radiculopathy (Fig. 2-13). A good way to help remember these is as follows. "Quad" means four - L4. Bending five toes toward the patient (dorsiflexion) tests L5. Pressing down on the gas (plantar flexion) of a new S1 Porsche tests S1. A positive straight-leg test is a nonspecific sign for lumbar disc herniation. The patient experiences pain in the back when — J. D. Hoppenfeld

We still have time," Kell assured him, getting to his feet.
"How do you know?" asked Hastra. "We can't hear the bells down here, and there are no windows to gauge the light." "Magic," Kell said, and then, when Hastra's eyes widened, he gestured to the hourglass sitting on the table with his other tools. "And that. — V.E Schwab

Wherever you find 'men together' - writing the rules, as at exclusive golf or other men's clubs, businesses, and lodges where they wear elaborate robes and funny hats - women are kept completely outside if possible and, when grudgingly admitted, to highly restricted areas or token status. — Eugene Kennedy

Its a good thing I'm here, big guy, because you have shit taste in friends."
Okay, I said the last part intentionally, knowing how Aaron would react. And right on cue, Aaron said:
"He's not my friend!"
"Well, I guess that settles it, Nick. You're not going to be rebound guy because, despite your predictions of woe, Aaron and I aren't breaking up. I'd say that we'll see you around, but I doubt that'll happen since you don't even rate friend status. — Cardeno C.

Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?'

'You got me,' she said. 'He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.'

'Funny,' Venkat said. 'Be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you at your company. See how that works out.'

'Oh no,' Mindy said. 'I might lose my job as an interplanetary voyeur? I guess I'd have to use my master's degree for something else.'

'I remember when you were shy.'

'I'm space paparazzi now. The attitude comes with the job. — Andy Weir

If you're reading to find friends, you're in deep trouble. We read to find life, in all its possibilities. — T.C. Boyle

If you have time for just three status updates a week, make one promotional, one funny or interesting (containing a picture or video) and one promoting somebody else. — David P. Perlmutter

It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status. — Russell Baker

The clown is a creature of chaos. His appearance is an affront to our sense of dignity, his actions a mockery of our sense of order. The clown (freedom) is always being chased by the policeman (authority). Clowns are funny precisely because their shy hopes lead invariably to brief flings of (exhilarating?) disorder followed by crushing retaliation from the status quo. It delights us to watch a careless clown break taboos; it thrills us vicariously to watch him run wild and free; it reassures us to see him slapped down and order restored. After all, we can condone liberty only up to a point. Consider Jesus as a ragged, nonconforming clown
laughed at, persecuted and despised
playing out the dumb show at his crucifixion against the responsible pretensions of authority. — Tom Robbins

Diplomacy is also the art of postponing decisions until the problems resolve themselves. — Paulo Coelho

... I'm afraid of what the digital age will do to the world, to the things we think are important ... it's almost like people want to believe in some illusion that they're robots and forget altogether that they're real, living people ... but everything these days is disposable, even people themselves, and that's why I'm afraid for the world," Mandy confessed, looking depressed and worried.
"So am I ... but I'll still watch all of it as the world dooms itself, because I want to see how it ends, and whether or not they'll be intelligent enough to forget all of this digital illusion afterwards," Alecto explained. "I'm sure that they'll be able to realize how wrong it all is ... even though the idiots outnumber most people these days, there are still enough intelligent people to fight against it. — Rebecca McNutt

Funny how addiction was socially acceptable - even a status symbol - when it made people extroverts rather than introverts — Stacia Kane

A good test case is a test case that has a high probability of detecting an undiscovered error, not a test case that show that the program works correctly. — Glenford Myers

I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me. — Wiz Khalifa

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people" — Andy Borowitz

He was verbally poking a bruise. — Gillian Flynn

When I paint a portrait I want to know more than just the looks of the person. I want to know how they live and what their feelings are ... It then becomes more than just physiognomy, but the feel of the person. — Jamie Wyeth