Funny Soccer Quotes & Sayings

Football's all about 90 minutes — Glenn Hoddle

I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. — David Beckham

Germany are a very difficult team to play ... they have eleven internationals out there today. — Steve Lomas

The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it. — Graeme Le Saux

To me personally, it's nothing personal to me — Ron Greenwood

I don't hold water with that theory — Ron Greenwood

This is the one-off occasion and you can't get any bigger occasion than that — Bryan Robson

I came to Nantes two-years-ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different. — Kevin Keegan

We could be putting the hammer in Luton's coffin — Ray Wilkins

When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1. — Lawrie McMenemy

Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have ... undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It's because he doesn't care! He's in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery. I am so tired of saying no, waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower. I'm going for it. I have no interest in being obese, I'm just through with the guilt. So this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans. — Elizabeth Gilbert

One's 'thing'
(1) A point of personal interest; a hobby, sport, or avocation that succinctly defines a person. (2) A brief coupling of words used to evoke someone's personality in a small-talk setting: Billy's thing used to be soccer; now it's masterbation. (3) A laconic summation of one's character and interests used for the purpose of categorization and judgement. See also 'What do you do? — Joshua Braff

What's your favourite position?"
"I usually play winger."
"Zach, I adore you, but you can't make soccer jokes during phone sex. It just isn't done. — Tiffany Reisz

The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukranians will be more European. — Phil Neville

Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles. — Jay Leno

Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms - movement and positioning. — Ron Atkinson

All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed. — Mitchell Thomas

Whelan was in the position he was, exactly — Jimmy Armfield

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer. — David Acfield

I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock. — Barry Venison

There's no in between-you're either good or bad. We were in between. — Gary Lineker

He hit that one like an arrow — Alan Parry

I don't blame individuals, Elton, I blame myself — Joe Royle

That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on. — John Lambie

The acoustics seem to get louder — Hugh Johns

The dice are stacked against them — Theo Foley

Funny, how the American team appealed to so many people because it was unsullied by money, and selfishness and corporate fingerprints, and yet when Chastain removed her shirt the old cynicism returned immediately. Surely, many thought and wrote, she had a deal with Nike to flash her bra and to make her body a living, breathing mannequin. — Jere Longman

He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces — Ron Atkinson

We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought. — Bobby Robson

Systems are made by players rather than players making systems — Theo Foley

The only thing Norwich didn't get was the goal that they finally got — Jimmy Greaves

Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win — Vinnie Jones

I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left-winger in the Premiership, but there are none better. — Ron Atkinson

Playing in Italy was like being in a foreign country. — Ian Rush

Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose. — Kevin Keegan

Portsmouth are at Huddersfield, which is always away — Jimmy Greaves

I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right. — Lee Hendrie

It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson. — Gordon Strachan

The scoreline didn't really reflect the outcome — Tony Gubba

The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23! — Kevin Keegan

I'm as happy as I can be-but I have been happier. — Ugo Ehiogu

I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. — Stuart Pearce

If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the beginning of the day. — H. L. Hunt