Funny Situational Quotes & Sayings

I like situational comedy when people are being completely serious and yet you can find something extremely funny, not jokes. — Bruce Robinson

Where there is an observatory and a telescope, we expect that any eyes will see new worlds at once. — Henry David Thoreau

The spirit of democracy is not a mechanical thing to be adjusted by abolition of forms. It requires change of heart. — Mahatma Gandhi

I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor. — Shiloh Fernandez

Please give me a chance to make you happy. I make this promise to you in this beautiful garden you fought so hard for, that I will spend every day putting you first. — Amy Andrews

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics. — Chris Rock

Sometimes I'd like to play the bad guy and sometimes I'd like to die in a movie. — Jackie Chan

It annoys me when people who don't know what they're talking about boo the referee. — Jonah Lomu

When I work with countries struggling to pay for budgets or finance trade deficits, I reflect on how Americans do not spend a moment considering the unique advantages of being able to issue bonds and print money freely. — Robert Zoellick

I encourage the study of music. And the immersion. 'Cause my life has been so enriched by being involved in music as I have. — Clive Davis

Those who know, do not say; those who say, do not know. — Peter Kreeft

Kings and philosophers defecate, and so do ladies. — Michel De Montaigne

A firm belief that things were more likely than not to go wrong was another characteristic of Sir Gavin's approach to life, induced no doubt by his own regrets. Indeed, he could not be entirely absolved from suspicion of rather enjoying the worst when it happened: at times almost of engineering disaster of a purely social kind. — Anthony Powell

Zenia has stolen something from him, the one thing he always kept safe before, from all women, even from Roz. Call it his soul. She slipped it out of his breast pocket when he wasn't looking, easy as rolling a drunk, and looked at it, and bit it to see if it was genuine, and sneered at it for being so small after all, and then tossed it away, because she's the kind of woman who wants what she doesn't have and gets what she wants and then despises what she gets. What — Margaret Atwood

Once more Mary Jo, Bobby, Kevin, Dennis, Raymond, Lucille, Frankie, Coddles, Lyle, John, Andy, Miss Ursula, Jim, Lonnie, Postmaster Jones, William, Travis, Todd, Tony, Dennis M. . . . On the ride home from Sheriff's office, everyone was again on porches or at windows. Daron didn't call out their names this time, and this time no one waved. Where do the black people live? In the front yards! It was funny. (I guess that's better than the back of the bus, Louis had later added. Daron had thought that funny, too.) Louis's absence was always noticeable. Though skinny, he'd filled space like a fat man on a crowded elevator, except a welcome addition, not someone who provoked strangers to regard each other with situational solidarity. He had, in fact, induced people to regard each other with suspicion, to question the known. — T. Geronimo Johnson

I walked into the wrong examination room. I'm bad enough at facial recognition ... I saw more that day than I cared to. Fortunately, I didn't recognize her from that angle, whoever it was, and I didn't ask. I'm off to a rocky start on the road to fatherhood, but I got a free view. — Simon Helberg

Exploration by real people inspires us. — Stephen Hawking