Funny Self Confidence Quotes & Sayings

I could use all the confidence I could get. If possible, I would steal some from the egotistical Chase. He had more than enough to spare. — J.L. Weil

My self-confidence can be measured out in teaspoons mixed into my poetry, and it still always tastes funny in my mouth. — Sarah Kay

Stay simple and true to your gut. If you feel uncomfortable in something, no matter how fashion-forward it is, it's going to look funny. At the end of the day, I don't think it really matters what you're wearing, because if you shine through in that confidence, you really can convince anybody that what you're wearing is great ... as long as it doesn't have too many sparkles! — Analeigh Tipton

Ambition is a funny thing. It's like being a Trekkie in that if you admit to it, those around you are mock supportive of your confidence but are quick to call you a loser behind your back.
Or maybe that's the opposite of being a Trekkie. — Christy Leigh Stewart

When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, "You can do this. You've got what it takes." The other sounds like my mother-in-law. — Carla H. Krueger

I know it sounds funny, but every time I have a disaster in the kitchen, it knocks my confidence level a little bit more, and I feel annoyed with myself that I can't do better. — Lesley Nicol

There are certain stereotypes that are offensive. Some of them don't worry me, though. For instance, I have always thought that Mammy character in Gone with the Wind was mighty funny. And I just loved "Amos 'n' Andy" on the radio. So you see, I have enough confidence in myself that those things did not bother me. I could laugh. — Annie Elizabeth Delany

If you think it's funny to make fun of the "used car salesman," you better only buy new and never sell your car. Just sayin. — Richie Norton

My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos. — Darynda Jones

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned ... " — Charles Dickens

We loved them. We hated them. We wanted to be them. How tall they were, how lovely, how fair. Their long, graceful limbs. Their bright white teeth. Their pale, luminous skin, which disguised all seven blemishes of the face. Their odd but endearing ways, which ceased to amuse - their love for A.I. sauce and high, pointy-toed shoes, their funny, turned-out walk, their tendency to gather in each other's parlors in large, noisy groups and stand around talking, all at once, for hours. Why, we wondered, did it never occur to them to sit down? They seemed so at home in the world. So at ease. They had a confidence that we lacked. And much better hair. So many colors. And we regretted that we could not be more like them. — Julie Otsuka

What the hell is so funny?"
"First of all," she said, her confidence growing, "they're not my MASTERS. I don't have a MASTER. Second, they don't need a battalion to take you down. And third
and this is really the most important point
whoever said I came alone? — Derek Landy

When I realised I had a facility for humour, I latched on to it, and it gave me confidence and I built my personality around it. So I subconsciously made myself become the funny one so that would be my label rather than the ginger one or the red-faced one. — Catherine Tate

Funny the things which civilization has to offer when one misses. Flooring is a lovely thing. Gives one confidence. During my five weeks' occupancy the mud floor stayed wet in spite of great care on my part not to slop the water again. It never did properly dry, because the hut was necessarily dark. No direct sun came in, and the humidity was so terrific that even in direct sunlight nothing ever dried out. Curious to live on a slippery surface. A floor is a very important item. — Katharine Hepburn

With a nod, Thorne started down the street. 'This way.'
Five steps later, he paused, pondered, turned around. 'No, no, this way.'
'We're dead.'
'No, I've got it now. It's this way.'
'Don't you have an address?'
'A captain always knows where his ship is. It's like a psychic bond.'
'If only we had a captain here.'
He ignored her, marching down the street with spectacular confidence. — Marissa Meyer

Not that I feel like I have a lack of confidence, it's just good to stand up in front of people who don't really know what to expect. Am I going to say something? Am I going to sing? And often when I do say anything it gets a laugh, because everyone's already used to laughing. So I can seem like I'm actually a funny person. — Eleanor Friedberger

Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls. — Auliq Ice

I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control. — Wendy Liebman

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine. — Evan Davis

Relaxing at home in his 55th-floor condominium before a game, Sammy Sosa is the same as at the ball park: focused but funny, exuberant but reserved. He is in a strange country, conversing in two languages, but his every movement displays a combination of confidence and humility. — Bill Dedman

The funny thing is I'm actually really insecure. I have a lot of girl issues - 'I'm not pretty enough,' 'I'm not skinny enough' - but there is a confidence I have in what I can do. I did tend to overcompensate to cover up other insecurities that I have. — Lindsay Pearce

I am not fake, I am just too good to be true (-: — Mahsati Abdul

When Dad died in 1998, it really hit my confidence - he'd helped me write and he thought I was really funny, but since he'd died I didn't feel right. And it felt like no one but me even remembered him. — Dolly Wells

I am not fake, I am just to good to be true — Mahsati Abdul

Don't plead with anyone if you were not at fault, you'll only look inferior, stupid and funny, bolster your ego by doing the undoing. — Michael Bassey Johnson

No, no. Don't make that face. Every time I propose to you, you make that twisty, unhappy face. It wears on a man's confidence. — Tessa Dare

Often the inspiration to write music comes from the voices in your head. You're not crazy. Just be thankful they are not making you rescue people in 20-degree weather at 2:30 in the morning in the forest. — Shannon L. Alder

Why are the super-rich for socialism? Don't they have the most to lose? I take a look at my bank account and compare it with Nelson Rockefeller's and it seems funny that I'm against socialism and he's out promoting it. Or is it funny? In reality, there is a vast difference between what the promoters define as socialism and what it is in actual practice. The idea that socialism is a share-the-wealth program is strictly a confidence game to get the people to surrender their freedom to an all-powerful collectivist government. While the Insiders tell us we are building a paradise on earth, we are actually constructing a jail for ourselves. — Gary Allen

Women are complicated and messy and we are certainly not perfect, but we are funny and challenging and kind, and I wouldn't change a thing — Melissa McCarthy

I am always drawn to men that are funny. I do not know why. But I am always drawn to people that are struggling with parts of themselves ... But it's like in the end, there has to be confidence. — Vanessa Carlton

I don't even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell. — Shannon L. Alder

When taking Spock to see the spores, Leila comments, "It's not much further." having been beaten about the head severely on the difference between "further" and "farther," I believe I can say with some trembling confidence that she should say, "it's not much farther." "Further" means "to a greater extent or degree" whereas "farther" means "to a greater distance." (I know this is really picky, but hey, that's my business.) — Phil Farrand

Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the confidence that I have got from the amount of runs I have been scoring, when I'm thrown the ball to bowl, I am pretty sure of what I have to do. I may not be the most attractive to watch while bowling, but I can be effective. — Virat Kohli

I really love Charlize Theron. I've never met her before, but she seems really down-to-earth in interviews, really intelligent and funny and cool - and she's just this glorious goddess who holds herself with such confidence. — Alexandra Daddario

Women who've made peace with living alone," she started, counting off on one finger, "and women with healthy self-confidence ... " She counted off a second finger, then cocked her head at Kate. "Are you getting this?"
Kate nodded. "Women who've made peace with living alone and women who have a healthy self-confidence ... "
"Can always, BUT ALWAYS, afford to be picky. — Becky Wade

You should really, like, dump her and date me instead,' May heard herself saying, all confidence. 'I'm not as irritating. I mean, I'm irritating, but I'm not as bad as she is. And you know me better. Wouldn't that be funny? I mean, we've already hooked up, so we're good.'

We broke up,' Pete said quickly. His voice was so bright that May could hear the smile coming through. For a moment she was confused.

Who, you and me?'

No. Nell and i.'

Oh . . .'

The meter in her brain clicked once or twice, signaling May that she'd probably said enough.

I have to go,' she said suddenly. 'Okay? I think that's great. Cool. Okay. Gotta go now. Hey, Pete, I love you! — Maureen Johnson

It's not that I can't express myself,
it's that I still feel present when I'm not expressing myself. — Kim Myungsoo

I like the way that Dexter mixed humor, dark humor and tragedy, in a way I don't think that I've seen another show do. To handle those tonal shifts with so much confidence. Normally, you can mix humor and dark humor, you can mix dark humor and tragedy, but to mix all three ... There are just moments with Robin and Reuben, the next door neighbors, that are just funny. — Jane Espenson

I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience. I'm not particularly intellectual or clever or minority-focused in my creative instincts. And I'm certainly not aware of suppressing more sophisticated ambitions. — Rowan Atkinson

He had spoken with such absolute confidence that I knew he had to be blowing this out of his rectal orifice. — Neal Stephenson

That's the key, you know, confidence. I know for a fact that if you genuinely like your body, so can others. It doesn't really matter if it's short, tall, fat or thin, it just matters that you can find some things to like about it. Even if that means having a good laugh at the bits of it that wobble independently, occasionally, that's all right. It might take you a while to believe me on this one, lots of people don't because they seem to suffer from self-hatred that precludes them from imagining that a big woman could ever love herself because they don't. But I do. I know what I've got is a bit strange and difficult to love but those are the very aspects that I love the most! It's a bit like people. I've never been particularly attracted to the uniform of conventional beauty. I'm always a bit suspicious of people who feel compelled to conform. I personally like the adventure of difference. And what's beauty, anyway? — Dawn French

She oozes the kind of over-confidence that only comes to people who wear deep red lipstick and sparkly tissue sarees in bright daylight. — Aditi Mathur Kumar