Funny Rib Tickling Quotes & Sayings

Congratulations is a societal burp that follows a positive act. When you graduate AA, you get a congratulations. When you throw back three bottles of whiskey in one night, you do not. For a species that is interested in furthering its kind, no one will congratulate you for succeeding in one more day of spinsterhood. If you follow the Congratulation Super Highway, you will get engaged, married and then have children. Getting a congratulations has never been so easy. Just have some unprotected sex. — Mara Altman

If they can make a fabulous gay man work like that, I thought, what can they do to the rest of us? — Gary Shteyngart

Although the mortality rate was erratic, ranging from one fifth in some places to nine tenths or almost total elimination in others, the overall estimate of modern demographers has settled - for the area extending from India to Iceland - around the same figure expressed in Froissart's casual words: "a third of the world died. — Barbara W. Tuchman

When we move apart, she looks at me again, till a small tear lifts itself up in her eye. It trips out to find a wrinkle and follows it down. — Markus Zusak

I feast on wine and bread, and feasts they are. — Michelangelo

You can be invincible, if you enter into no contest in which it is not in your power to conquer. — Epictetus